AIBU to be annoyed at my MIL for buying my kids too many toys?!

[raindrops44]

Worst problems to have, I know.

I have 2 kids close in age who both have birthdays near Christmas. They have a ridiculous amount of toys. I'm continually trying to minimise what they have because I feel they can't really play with things properly when there's too much choice. I continually send stuff to charity shops, etc. There's so many things that never get played with because they just get swamped underneath the masses of toys they have.

I've tried to encourage people to not buy them gifts because they have plenty. If they insist I'll offer a suggestion of buying an experience rather than something physical. Cinema tickets, zoo tickets, etc but this rarely happens. My MIL in particular is a nightmare. She says I'm trying to rob her of the 'joy of being a nan' by stopping her from 'spoiling them!'

This week was my youngest s 3rd birthday and she bought him a scooter (already has one at my house, and hers!), a toot toot airport (even though he has the construction site, garage, fire station), a large remote control car, 15 books, large box of duplo (has x3 of them already), and a large walking talking dinosaur thing, and a guitar.

I'm fizzing. Why does a 3yr old need 3 scooters, and why does my house need to resemble Argos?! 😤

Should I just keep my mouth zipped or be more firm, ask if she has receipts etc? Other son's birthday is in 3 weeks! 😩🙈

*or money, not all!

I feel for you. I have a number of family members like this but MIL is the worst. Me and DH have tried to speak to her a few times and she cries and says we're horrible in not letting her buy things. We've tried the environmental angle when she's turned up with bags and bags of plastic tat when it's not even their birthdays or Christmas but she's not interested. She'll give them money or experience tickets as well as crap. It does my head in OP especially when she gets angry with us if we as parents ever buy them anything because we've deprived her of the opportunity to buy it!!

I have had similar with in laws. They will always buy the kids huge toys that we literally do not have space for. I have asked for pjs, books and smaller toys before but nope. Clothes we do get are always to small for dd despite me telling them her size. I have given up, graciously thank them and donate the clothes to the charity shop every time. Each year another huge toy comes the last one gets put away in the loft or donated to our local playgroup. I would prefer cash or a gift card so I can get them things as and when they are needed but fair enough. It comes from a good place so I don't get angry about it but it is frustrating. Yanbu

I honestly think she's trying to relive her time as a parent in some way. Wants to be 'Santa' if you know what I mean. One of my friends told me that her parents have a wee saving tin and they put a few pound a week in, the kinda money other grandparents would spend on comics, sweets etc. Over the course of a year it all added up and was used to help decorate their grandkids bedroom. She took them to the shops as they picked new bedding, wall stickers etc so she felt included and could see the joy it gave the kids to pick new things for their room. I suggested this to my MIL before and she wasn't interested in doing the same. 🙄 She doesn't even like buying them clothes because it's 'boring!'

My husbands going round tomorrow for a cuppa and a chat. We've got a boot full of things to take to our local baby bank & women's refuge so he's going to physically show her the volume of stuff we don't need. Hopefully it helps. Thank you everyone!