To not want visitors who are unwell?

[TinyPop14]

I know I can't protect dc from all coughs, colds and viruses and they do help build their immune system but if possible I try to limit their contact with people with cold/flu symptoms. Dd is 5 and has asthma so a cold can make her very unwell. She was admitted to the local children's hospital about 6 weeks ago because of low oxygen levels, she needed to be on oxygen over night, a nebuliser and a course of steroids. Ds is 9 months and a cold and blocked nose makes him feed and sleep poorly and understandably be grumpy and need lots of cuddles. I usually ask visitors who have cold/flu symptoms not to visit until they are over the worst of it. MIL has an issue with this, she has been one the phone every other day this week telling me how much she misses Dc. She hasn't seen them since October so not sure what difference another week will make - she has never seen them on a regular basis. She is on her 2nd course of antibiotics for a chest infection and has to have another chest x-ray tomorrow to see if it has cleared up. When speaking to her today she told me how unfair I was being keeping her from seeing Dc but the last thing I want is them catching it, though she claims they won't. Aibu to ask her to wait until her antibiotics are finished and she is feeling better before coming to see Dc?

Your not being unreasonable

A cold / sickness bug, will often put me in hospital, I hate when people come round, already spending time with me and they drop in the fact, Iv got an awful cold, had a bug yesterday etc....

she claims they won't

Does she really. Is she planning to wear a hazmat suit?

She’s being selfish. Stick to your guns.

“MIL, I know you wouldn’t want to risk making the DC sick or putting DD in hospital, we’ll see you when you’re better”. And put the phone down.

YANBU.

What is a light cold for some might be something more serious for the others.

I keep my rotten germs to myself, just a basic consideration for the others

My SIL came round to see DD when she was a year old and didn’t tell us she had a chest infection. A few days later we had to take DD to A&E (we were staying with ILs) due to a temperature we couldn’t get down. Then MIL told us about SIL chest infection.
That was 13 years ago and I still haven’t forgiven her.
YANBU

YANBU.

I have a slight cold, not too bad, but I was due to see my friend and her toddler but I text her to cancel. She text back saying she was sorry not to see me but glad I'd told her and not just turned up all contagious!

It might be a slight cold to me but I'd rather not take the risk of passing it on and it being worse for her little one or her. I'd feel so guilty for something that's avoidable.

People that go about doing what they want to do (rather than need) without any thought of spreading their virus around are really selfish.

YANBU

I think some people are just so susceptible to picking up colds etc.

My step dad was here the other day and he had a cold. We didn’t hug or kiss, he washed his hands constantly and I did the same. (He is a very clean sort of person anyway.)

And I still caught the bastarding thing! Yet my DP has avoided it.

YANBU. Both MIL and SIL had awful flu-like viruses at Christmas. Neither told us before coming to our house. My 6 year old, 4 year old and 11 month old all caught it, with my asthmatic 6 year old ending up in hospital from the 30th December until the 2nd Jan.

I tell people when I'm sick and let them decide whether to see me or not.

I also tell people when I am unwell and let them decide if they're willing to risk catching it. Dd has been in hospital 4 times due to low oxygen levels, it isn't a nice experience.

@BBBear I wouldn't have forgiven her either!

Yanbu!

This is one part of parenting I also hate. My son was in hospital 10 months ago due to a virus. I also hated meeting up with people with colds etc. My eldest caught a fair few stomach bugs in her first few years and I am very cautious with those sorts of things too. One of my friends the week before Christmas sent her child back to school on the Tuesday morning. He had started with a vomiting bug Sunday night. Monday morning he had a bad stomach. I kept my child off school for the last day of term. They are best friends and I just couldn't bare risking christmas being ruined.

Absolutely no way should she be expecting to come near them with a bad chest.

One thing I will say is I've had to come to terms with all this in the last 5 months. My daughter is now at school and currently has a horrible cough. A cough I would like to keep her home for. But I can't because she's already had six days off since September. Not many for a four year old but we've had an attendance warning from the school that it's below 95%. So I've sent her in with it. Half her class has it too. Her best mate is barking with it and streaming nose. He holds onto my pushchair on the way home and coughs all over my toddler. I can't say much about it so I just have to let it go. Germs are now unavoidable now she's at school. I still hate it deep down but I have to just accept it and pray with time she gets stronger. I feel sorry for the youngest as he's taken a bashing from all the viruses that come home.

People could help to stop spreading things so easy. But people send children to school and nursery ill (I even do it abit now with colds and coughs) although on bad days i have kept her home. It's something that will continue to be an issue for you I suspect. It definitely frustrates me. I hate seeing them run down. Her pre school year was grim. Her nursery was an absolute germ breeding ground. I eventually counted and she had 17 illnesses in 11 months. Awful year! X

I’m still gobsmacked at how many people just won’t quarantine themselves when they are sick, and think nothing of spluttering germs over everyone. Causing weeks of inconvenience, pain, mess and discomfort for everyone.

Kids catch enough things with normal public contact, without friends and family (who supposedly care about them) exacerbating it.

I had a family friend come to dinner with a bad cold, knowing I was looking after my dad in hospital every day (terminal cancer). I had to quarantine myself so as not to shorten his life. Made everything so sad and he missed out on comfort I could have given him in his last days. By sheer luck I was able to hold his hand briefly the day before he died.

It has changed my relationship irrevocably with that friend. I just can’t forgive her selfishness.

I can't understand why she would willingly put them at risk especially since your dd has asthma. Having said that my fil would always bring my nephew around when he had a cold and encourage him to kiss my baby. He was awfully put out when I suggested they keep nephew at home as I didn't want to risk the baby getting sick,
at the time dn had chickenpox . At the time ds was 6 month old and I had dd to contend with to . Kids pick up all sorts from everywhere but if you are knowingly unwell you should do your best to avoid those that are vulnerable.

Yanbu be firm x

YANBU.

Just fyi, try a vitamin D supplement, it really helps the immune system and no one in the UK can make enough vitamin D from the sun from Sept ish to May ish. My DC, DH and me (or is it I?) all take Vit D gummies all autumn, winter and spring

I have suggested to MIL to see what the x-ray says and see how she feels on Monday and we'll take it from there. I've had to up Dd brown inhaler over the last two days because I've noticed the dark circles under her eyes, which they say are one of the first signs of asthma. I kept her off her swimming lessons this week as it seems there may be something already working on her. Don't want her being exposed to an infection that needed 2 courses of antibiotics. Sorry to hear that @Skittlesandbeer. Thanks will try vit d supplement.