DH and I have been together best part of a decade and have 2 under 2, inc very young baby. We are mostly happy, fancy each other, get on well but there are big issues with fault on both sides and we clash badly at points. He says i say what we are doing all the time/ bossy and for me hes poor at communicating and has lied to me several times now then shown little regard for how its hurt me, including told at least one member of his family some untruths about me i think to cover himself. I dont know how I would trust him again. Ive tried to get him to marriage counselling, we eventually did some last year but he refused to continue as he thought counsellor was biased towards me and wouldnt accept that an i partial person might view some of his behaviour as poor.
He has recently said he doesnt love me anymore but then seems to have gone back on this statement. I feel like if he doesnt love me its not worth trying, however i did fall out of love with him after we had our first child and told him so at time and begged him to come to counselling. I love him and want to make things work but I dont know if it is repairable.
Would you stay if you were unsure if your DH really loved you? Hes a great father. He works away for a month at a time then home a month. Its hard to see how we would untangle our lives. He would want to see our children lots so I feel we would end up seeing each other loads, im a sahm. In many ways it would be harder solo parenting, although i am used to it 50% of time i get more of a break when he is home. In many ways id like him to move out for a bit but then we would see each other so much for the children i dont know if there is any point. But i feel that if he stays then its as though nothings changed.