Am I right to feel demotivated at work, or am I just lazy?

[MaxPanic]

Sorry if this is long. 4 years ago I was recruited to a senior management role at a small firm, owned by a much larger plc where I worked in a lower ranking position 10 years ago.

I worked directly with (and reported to) the MD, ran my own diary and managed my own client accounts, and had full autonomy. The clients were happy and the brand was strong, even though we didn't make much money as there was only the two of us looking covering clients in the whole of the UK.

Things changed, the plc closed down the small firm (it wasn't profitable so totally understandable) and absorbed me back onto the same team where I worked 10 years ago. After consultation I was able to retain part of my title so it didn't look like a demotion, and my job description was re-drafted to show greater responsibility in a specific area, which I was to take on and manage - it sounded very exciting and I thought it would be cool.

6 months on, and I haven't had an appraisal because my new manager said there was "no point" documenting anything for half the year, and he hasn't provided any reporting mechanism to prove my activity. That means I'll get no bonus this year. The specialist and senior aspects of my role have come to nothing - the work is being farmed out across everyone, I am not valued for any extra expertise. The managers don't communicate with me for weeks but discuss things with my supposed clients directly and with each other without including me. Then they grill me about the client and act like I'm being flaky when I don't know what they're talking about.

I'm becoming so demotivated that I'm losing the will to care about doing a good job for the paying clients, or even defending myself any more. I used to hotly fight back when there was a sarky comment about not delivering on something, whether it was digging out evidence that I'd done it perfectly promptly, or that I hadn't even been informed of that requirement because they hadn't included me in the original discussion.

Now I can't even be arsed to do that. I avoid talking on conference calls because no one listens and I feel like they just don't rate me. I talk in words of one syllable if I can.

The only people who have time for me are my old clients, a few of which I got to keep, but the new ones I've been assigned think I'm the basic hired help. Any interesting issues get swiftly whipped away by my managers as though I'm fucking incompetent, not someone with 20 years experience and actually appointed to handle such things.

I am looking for another job - 2nd interview for one next week - but am I just being defeatist and lazy? Should I fight harder? I have tried, but the one individual causing me the most difficulty is chipping away at my confidence.

Good point up above re. small companies vs big ones. I'm going through a similar thing - moved from a team of 6 to a company of hundreds and feeling demoted and demotivated. In larger teams you are inevitably needed less and more expendable.

Be careful jumping into a new job: I moved to this one because I was unhappy at my previous job, and realised very quickly it was a mistake. I only took it because I was desperate to leave and so accepted a job that then subsequently also wasn't right. It is imo worth it to wait it out and find the perfect new opportunity rather than the first one you can get.

Manager called me last night - and although he's a bit hopeless practically, mostly due to his ridiculous workload, he's a decent type (and funny, which helps). We talked through a few things - not me and my demotivation necessarily, I mentioned feeling out of control of everything and he laughed it off and said he did too - but about projects, and the things I'm going to get involved in.

He tends to make me feel a lot better and I'm not really that bothered about the HR /bonus aspect - it's the other individual that's causing me grief, with their nit-picking, only telling me half a story and then insisting that they've told me all of it, leaving me out of communications, wading in on my accounts and taking over dealings with senior management etc.

It's hard to explain who this person is in the setup - but if I'm the consultant doing or coordinating the work in the proposal, they are the sales manager who pitches the proposal and the terms, and sells the client the contract. You'd think they'd let go and leave me to manage the project once the deal is done (that's my role) , but no - they're still in amongst it even though their job is sales and not the actual subject I am the expert in. So I'm basically left looking like the monkey hopping around the organ grinder, when the organ grinder should've left it running and moved on to another ages ago.

I don't even report to them but unfortunately, because they are the one currently tasked with bringing in the most income for the plc (and therefore the most exalted/lauded person), I have to dance to their tune. So frustrating.

You're right Pukka, I won't rush into a new job just to escape!

Hmm, ok the model didn't just vanish, you must have deleted it. As such, time to recreate it and take some control back. All your manager sees is you taking him through your proposed reporting method, then loosing it and doing nothing further.

It does sound like in this set up the sales individuals who pitch the proposal stay involved to ensure the commitments are met.

So again, instead of resenting them, why not proactively include them, let them know what's going to be done, keep them updated, open the flow of communication.

@MaxPanic there is nothing you've discussed in any of your posts that would attract me to this role, in fact it makes my skin prickle with anger on your behalf thinking about the way you're being treated.

Your role spec is poorly defined- or non-existent, hence there are no boundaries between the sales processes and your responsibilities on the delivery side, which involves them meddling and interfering in your duties and clinging onto things long after they should have handed them off. This is the stuff of nightmares, because it serves to devalue your organisational standing and contributions.

Meeting facilitation and behaviours are appalling to the extent you find yourself ignored, disenfranchised and isolated.

Management - utter crap, ineffectual, slopey shouldered. Your manager is useless, stop making excuses, he's rubbish! Expect better for yourself.

I mentioned feeling out of control of everything and he laughed it off and said he did too - but about projects, and the things I'm going to get involved in

Slow handclap. Way to make an employee's views and concerns worthless - laugh and make it about him. That's like going to the doctor with a sore elbow and instead of suggesting a solution, say "oh yes my elbow hurts too".

Get out while you still have sanity and self-esteem. When you find a good employer who values you, you'll wish you'd done it sooner.

And go under your own terms, find something to improve your work life balance. 13 hr days? Long commute? That isn't an improvement. Better to keep looking and meanwhile have a smug internal smile that soon you'll be outa there.

Thanks Daisy. I had been feeling a bit better on Friday but you're right. I can't rush into this new job (if I were to be offered it), I'm really not convinced about it and as disillusioned and frustrated as I am, it's probably better the devil you know.

On the slightly smug side, I had a call with the other individual who is frustrating me and they sounded very stressed. I politely asked if they were OK and they seem to be under an awful lot of performance pressure from the bigwigs on high. So I do understand their need to stay in control and I'll do my job and won't make their life harder - I'll just find it easier not to take their sarky little asides personally. It's not me they're really worried about clearly, and I have some sympathy with that pressure. I couldn't do it that's for sure.

On the other hand, I am now taking detailed notes of everything they tell me by phone so they cant claim to have told me something when they haven't!

Know your worth

That's the trouble DrManhattan, a few months of being out in the cold makes you question your worth.