Not to buy my BFF a birthday gift?

[ShuffleShuffleSpin]

My closest girl friend for many years lives abroad and wants to come to visit me for her 40th birthday. We both have families and young children and are very busy. I am on a tight budget. My friend the one thing she would really love to do when she comes is to go out to dinner somewhere very nice (fine dining).

I offered for my friend to stay at my house. I also offered for her to stay at an empty neighbours house (they were happy for her to do this). She said she wishes to stay at a hotel and be pampered as opposed to saving money. Completely understandable.

I can’t afford to both buy her a birthday present and pay for a meal for her. I am not assuming she assumes I will pay for the meal, but I thought it would be a nice gesture. If I do pay for her meal, there is no way I can also buy her a gift.

What would you do?

I have some nice bottles of champagne and wine at home already. I can give her one of those for her birthday. Or pay for her meal. Or get a separate gift and not pay for a meal.

I’m surrounded by screaming children so apologies if this is jumbled. Feedback greatly appreciated.

I would pay for the meal saying "Happy Birthday, I'll pay for this as your present as I didn't know what to get you." If she refuses and pays herself have a back up present you can buy in a hurry the next day.

Thanks that’s a good idea. I’ll think about that. I can have something I could return.

I wish I wasn’t in this position as I’d love to pay for all of it. It’s just not possible right now.

Can't you just tell her? I would, if she's your friend she will understand just say, oh I would love to take you out for a meal, money is a bit tight though sorry so I won't be able to get you a present as well. My friends would totally understand that. I'm
Assuming the meal won't be cheap either.

If you wanted to get her a small something could you buy her something from your home town? Low cost tourist-y/local thing? My home town for example has a cookbook produced by a charity in the city, costs a couple of quid but a good present for a visiting friend - something personal from you and your town but not expensive

Hey Mary, when you come to vvisit how about I take you to La Posho Restaurante for your birthday gift?

She's your BFF, you should be able to ask that.

However surely a meal like that can run to 00's vs a nice but cheaper present for say 30 or 40 if money is tight?

I'd say 'I've booked us in for dinner at x restaurant, my treat as it's your birthday' and preferably one that does a set menu so you know the price in advance. From experience though, when it was my friends 40th I took him out for a posh meal and he chose the wine which took it from reasonable value to mega expensive so I would make it clear food only or food plus wine budget of x