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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this issue has nothing to do with me!

6 replies

Bee2828 · 29/01/2020 17:44

Hi all, basically I’ve been with my partner for 8 years. His mum has a husband whom she was with a long time before I met OH. OH doesn’t really consider his mums husbands a stepdad as he was well into adulthood when they met but we will call him my partners stepdad for the sake of this.

Anyway, partners stepdad has grown up children in which he hasn’t spoken to in a long time. I’m not sure why. He’s never really mentioned them and I don’t want to ask or anything. Haven’t seen them since they were children. OH said he met them a few times When he lived with his mum but then they seemed to stop coming over.

One of them happens to be an old school friend on mine coincidentally. We were never overly close or anything but we are friends on Facebook and have been for several years.

I am aware that she’s my friend on Facebook. I’m not overly close to mil or her husband so never post anything about them on social media even more so because his daughter is my friend on Facebook. I’ve never known my dad and I know how upsetting it can be. There’s never been an issue.

But lately there’s been some snide comments because the ‘stepdad’ has a relationship with our DC and not hers. Not directly to me but she’s sharing things on Facebook about her dad being in other children’s lives. I assume she means mine because there are no other children in the family. Other non direct things posted.

Also we share some mutual friends and she’s been verbally talking about us a family and how her dad sees our kids but not hers etc.

I can understand her upset. Of course I can. Like I said I don’t have a dad and it sucks but aibu to think this is not my fault and no anger should be directed at me or even my OH.

OH’s mum and her husband were together for a long time before I met him. I do have some photos of my children with mil and her husband but I’ve never posted them on social media because I don’t really post anything anyway and I wouldn’t want to upset this lady. I barely post anything anyway.

I feel like deleting her as a friend but I don’t want to upset her up anymore.

What should I do? Ignore her? Approach her?? Tell her I don’t want any hard feelings??

Wait for it to blow over?

OP posts:
Hahaha88 · 29/01/2020 17:48

Yanbu. Just ignore ignore ignore ignore

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 29/01/2020 17:50

put her posts on mute/hide

SunOnAll · 29/01/2020 17:53

Just block her newsfeed, and block her from seeing your posts. She'll still be on your FB but as you don't post much anyway she won't have reason to notice/be upset.

WorraLiberty · 29/01/2020 17:54

Ignore or hide from news feed.

Bee2828 · 29/01/2020 18:01

The problem is there has been nothing on my Facebook to upset her other than maybe that I’m friends with her dad! Neither myself, Oh, mil or her husband are big social media posters so I’m not even sure where this has come from so it’s baffling me!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/01/2020 18:11

It's not about you, OP.

It's about her and her feelings.

Look around Facebook, people often post about things that make them sad/angry/happy etc.

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