To think that insomnia takes over your life?

[Retroflex]

And also to think that nobody "gets" insomnia until they get it?

I'm currently lying down in my bed in absolute agony, I took my medications at 11pm, and as it was my last dose of the day, so I honestly expect to be getting back out of bed in around 2 hours, just to maybe try some gentle movements, or to find a comfortable position.

Whilst I am "up" I think about all the things I can do, load the washing machine and tumble dryer from my wheelchair, maybe prepare and cook tomorrow nights dinner (again whilst sitting in my wheelchair) so that it only needs to be warmed through before serving... I could make sandwiches for my husband to take to work with him for his lunch...

But then reality sets in, and I realise that all of these things, with the amount of pain I'm in, will be far too much for me to handle...

However, if I don't sleep, and don't get the dinner made then technically by the time my husband arrives home from work tomorrow night, (exhausted), I will be like a zombie, and he will need to make the dinner again! which isn't the partnership I'd hoped our marriage would continue with! He actually said to me last night (Monday into Tuesday) that I "seem very down"... Lack of sleep will do that to anyone! Or AIBU about that too?

I know I'm not the only one who suffers with insomnia, and I guess I'm just looking for any ideas as to how I can either sleep, or do the above tasks with minimal pain...

Sorry for the long post, just didn't want to drop feed...

Sounds like OP has got a lot more than insomnia bothering her (1-MS, 2-degenerative disc issue, 3-MH illness, 4-frequent hospital visits, 5-pernicious anemia, 6-a long list of life-admin worries, 7-chronic pain, & 8-perhaps whyever else you rely on the wheelchair, presumably mobility limitation).

I have life long insomnia but it doesn't take over my life. It's on a long list of minor things to manage. I have maybe 2 things I could put in () in addition to my insomnia... maybe only one thing in ().

I'm sorry I can't suggest anything to help with all that, OP.

That sounds awful OP. I have insomnia and it’s pretty draining but I don’t also have health conditions or any pain to deal with.

You’re right though, people don’t get it. That endless time in the night when it feels like you are the only person on earth who is awake.

Take care

@YeOldeTrout I had typed quite a long reply, but I managed to lose it all. Typical when I've not slept to be honest. I suppose you're right when you say that I've got a lot more going on than the insomnia, but I try to group things together, and minimise them and their effects on me to be honest.

My wheelchair use and physical disability is because of the severe multiple sclerosis and degenerative disc disease, it also causes numbness, and this is the reason I have very frequent hospital trips, for treatment and tests, as complications could be fatal, I'm immunocompromised, but funnily enough, none of that bothers me at all.

My mental health in regards to my bipolar disorder, OCD and mysophobia is as stable as it can be at the moment, I'm not rapidly cycling anymore, which is a huge relief!

Pernicious anemia is something I've lived with almost my entire life, and to a certain extent so is the insomnia, my mother has told me that I would only sleep for 6 hours maximum at night as a child, and refused point blank to nap during the day! Apparently she spent her life exhausted because of me and was delighted when my siblings sleep routine wasn't affected by my lack of one!

@SeaViewBliss I don't compare what I'm going through to what others are although I'm aware some people see it as a competition to see who is worse, I think anyone who is awake during the night when others are peacefully sleeping with know what I mean about it being soul destroying! I have a number of friends who think I'm "weird" or I'm the "only" person they've heard about who suffers (and I do mean suffer) from insomnia! At least I've found people here who truly understand!
Some of my friends who suffer from broken sleep with their children actually said to me "oh you'll be absolutely fine when you're little ones arrive because you don't sleep anyway" which yes, it is easier for me to deal with the twins if I'm awake during the night and they're needing fed etc to allow my husband to sleep, but I feel like I'm permanently exhausted! Thankfully I've got a great support network, and my own coping mechanisms, including the ability to work from home! I honestly don't think I could survive if I had to be in the office every single day! Those of you who do have my full respect and sympathy in equal measure!

I actually thought YeOldeTrout was rather insensitive. The point brings it would benefit OP health if she got better sleep and of course a proper prescription would help that but I guess that’s not the point of this particular thread.

Anyway OP I hope you get a good night tonight.

*being not brings

@AutumnRose1 I tend to wait until I've been sleep deprived, maybe getting an hour or two, but not enough to function properly before going to my GP for sleeping pills, but now I have the little ones I'm really wary about doing it, the only thing that I can be thankful of, is that I'm no longer breastfeeding, so my medications have been reinstated! I think @YeOldeTrout was just pointing out (quite rightly) that the insomnia isn't my only health problem, and the other conditions are bound to have an effect on my quality of life and sleep. I didn't see it as a negative, although I think they may have compared themselves only having insomnia as inferior in some way because they can deal with it due to not much else concerning their health? Which is why I hate comparing what other people go through, as at the end of the day, is another sleep deprived night for everyone who suffers from insomnia.

*been sleep deprived for 3 weeks

My insomnia is horrendous at the minute.
I'm lucky to get 3 hours a night.
My doctor refuses to give me sleeping tablets because I'm already on 23 tablets a day and they should knock me out but they don't... So I'm left lying awake at stupid times.

The fact I have psychosis isn't helpful as I have a voice constantly talking to me when I'm trying to sleep.
I'm also in constant pain thanks to my Ehlers Danlos.
And I have 3 kids and my partner of 12 years left me a week and a half ago.

So yeah, I'm not sleeping either and I can't help but feel that if I could just sleep everything else would feel a bit more manageable.

@HerRoyal I'm on more tablets than that as well as a fentanyl patch, (none of which so much as affects my concentration, nevermind knocks me out!)

I think you are going through a horrendous time at the moment, and you seem to have a rather unsupportive doctor if they are using ridiculous excuses not to give you something which would help short term!

Of course if you were sleeping, you would be able to manage everything else better! Is their another doctor at your practice who would be able to give a second opinion and perhaps a little more empathy and support?

Unfortunately he's the only doctor in the practice.
My mum told me to change doctors surgery though as he's also told me that as I haven't made an attempt on my life I'm fit for work
My entire mental health team disagree!

I hope you get some sleep soon. It's awful lying awake and not knowing what to do with yourself

@HerRoyal I'm in 100% agreement with your mum! He doesn't sound like a doctor who is interested in what he can't physically "see"! I'm glad you have support from family and a mental health team of professionals who I'm sure don't hold this doctor in very high regard!