AIBU missing clothing at school

[radioactiveimagination]

My DD is in reception and since the beginning of term has lost one school cardigan, 2 winter hats, a scarf and a pair of gloves. All clearly labelled with her name. AIBU to be annoyed? I get that it’s difficult to control what 30 4 and 5 yos do with their belongings but don’t understand what is happening to her stuff. I’ve emailed the school today but had no response. WWYD?

I’d ask the teacher if it was OK to go and look in cloakrooms etc.

Check lost propertu, playground, cloakroom etc

As PP said, I would ask to go in and have a look at the end of the day and check lost property. I always put gloves through the sleeves sewn on to some elastic and stitched the scarf (just a couple of stitches) on to the coat to prevent them getting lost.

A day isn't all that long to wait for a response to this type of thing. It may have been the teacher's PPA today or they may have their hands full with other issues. If I need to speak to a parent about inappropriate behaviour or an injury then that will take priority over lost property. I would get to it when I had time but it may take a few days. Plus you know exactly what they look like and the teacher doesn't. Far quicker to look yourself.

Does your dd struggle to look after her belongings at home too? If she is losing so many things maybe teach her some good habits, e.g., gloves go in her bag. Or buy her a coat with zip up pockets so that things don't fall out of them. Tell her to keep her jumper on etc.

You need to ask to go in yourself to look in lost property. IME, school staff do their best to return items to the classes of the children when they find them but if they're left lying in the cloakroom then likely end up in lost property.

I agree with Blond. Teachers often get several emails each day for far more pressing issues. Children esp reception children constantly miss place items, I was in lost property or checking the cloakroom/playground weekly when my kids where in their first 2 years. If u do get an email it will most likely say to check lost property.

If other children have the same or similar items then they could have gone home with another child. In that case it could be a week before a cardigan ends up in the wash and a parent notices the name.

I was always rummaging through the lost property bins, trying to locate a missing item, would usually find something belonging to a classmate, but rarely something we were missing. It was grim. It’s frustrating I know.

Or if a child has lost theirs and comes home with another child's clothing then its not unusual for the name to be removed... I just bought more uniform from the second hand uniform pool when my child was in reception, while trying to teach him to keep track of his own things. I wouldn't bother the teacher.

I know not every parent can afford even second hand replacements, but I had saved money because I just bought second hand from the start.

I wouldn’t be annoyed with anyone other than your daughter and maybe you for not checking at the end of each day.

Have you looked in bed peg/ in her cloakroom?
Have you looked in lost property?

This is totally normal and infuriating. My kids are 9,11 and 13 and still constantly lose stuff at school. Go in and look for it. Usually when my 9 year old says he can't find it anywhere I go in and find it on the floor near his peg....
The older ones are trickier as I don't go to their school. Eldest has lost a whole frigging PE bag full (bloody expensive)

As a TA, I would love to know where all the lost things go! Some children just seem to be constantly losing jumpers, and they rarely turn up, despite several members of staff and children searching all over. If it's named it has a better chance of coming back, but not necessarily!

One time we had a pair of trousers left unclaimed after PE - no idea how that happened, since everyone was wearing trousers (and these children are 8/9, so you would've thought old enough to take care of their things).

What I'd really like to know, is where all my post-it notes have gone. I'm guessing the same place as all the candy canes which were liberated from the tree at Christmas...

I found things in year 5 that had been abandoned by DD in around year 3 and she had sworn until she was blue in the face weren't anywhere. They'd been sitting in the second lost property basket that she hadn't thought to tell me about/denied existed for two years

We recently had a whole school purge on lost property. Everything was laid out in the hall and every class was taken in, one by one to claim. Hardly anything went. Before it was cleared away the PTA took photos and put on their FB saying that anything unclaimed was going to be sold off the following week...about 90% was claimed. Kids just don’t know their belongings like their parents do.

Have a look in lost property yourself that’s your best bet! Oh and the hooks definitely. Attaching gloves is a good idea.

I find all of this REALLY odd!! I’m in Ireland and our school doesn’t even have a lost property!! the kids just come in wearing their PE Gear on PE day so...no changing in class!! Good god I would crack up if I had to wait for a class of kids to get changed!!!
Coats and hats etc are out on their pegs so I don’t know!! My DD is in her 3rd year of primary school and she hasn’t lost a thing!! Hell...I don’t even label her stuff!!

And also I don’t have an email for parents....if they want me then they come and speak to me

I think it's how some people clothe their children! By taking others clothes and shoes! Stuff goes 'missing' regularly. Despite it all being named. None of it gets returned.

Buy yourself an electric sewing machine and order some massive embroidered labels and sew them into everything. For coats and other big ticket items sew an extra label into a sleeve or a pocket in case the visible one is removed to avoid any confusion..... This applies to state school and private schools . Trust me by the time your child has left school the sewing machine will have paid for itself in stopping things from going “missing” . This is not a Sewing Bee challenge- no judgement for how straight those stitches are! I particularly like the zig zag and the backwards and forward function for making them almost impossible to remove without leaving a trace! A few years from now your child will be going on residential trips and then you face the prospect of labelling pants and socks and other assorted expensive items - your sewing machine will be your best friend .

You need to check lost property and cloak rooms yourself.

Last time DS lost a hat I went in and found 3 of his hats, gloves and a scarf (all with his name on) some bits were in lost property and some on the floor where he hangs his coat (he said he had looked everywhere for them too!)

Totally normal here. I'm always looking through lost property. My school age kid has to have 2 full sets of clean clothes in his locker at school (he's only 6, this changes as they age) in case they get wet during outdoor play. Chances of getting wet during scandi-winter? High. He's misplaced so many pairs of gloves, and a couple of sweaters. They usually show up when parents notice an alien item and send it back in but not always.

I spend some quality time at the end of every half term retrieving DS1's stuff from lost property. One year it was 2 coats, 2 hoodies, a lunchbox, a water bottle and a pair of trainers (it's not normally that bad).

He just forgets things. He has 3 coats, because we know that at some point he'll leave it behind after a club and would otherwise be without a coat all weekend.

It's completely normal. Try and instil good habits, but go and rummage in the cloakroom/lost property every now and then to retrieve what's been lost.

DS2 doesn't have this issue - but DS1 has very poor organisational and planning skills.

Find out where lost property is kept - and sometimes it turns out that there's more than one place eg in the cloakrooms and the school office. There may also be stuff just loose under the coat pegs that hasn't been picked up at all yet.

If you pick your child up from school, try and check they have everything when you pick them up each day, and go in to look there and then if not.

If you don't pick your child up, it's a bit harder. DD's friend went to after-school care for half the week, but when mum picked her up on Fridays she would end up going home in three coats as mum rounded up the ones she'd forgotten during the week.

Attaching gloves to coats has gone out of fashion, but can help. Or train your child to put gloves and hat in pockets and scarf down the sleeve every time they take their coat off. If you can get them into the habit at home, hopefully it will get them doing it at school.

I used to be a bit naughty when my children lost things. We would check lost property and sometimes find the item because everything was named but if we couldn't find their jumper or cardigan we would take one without a name.
Not brilliant behaviour but the uniform was so expensive and clearly someone had stolen my children's things first. I do still feel guilty though.
It's a waste of time asking the teachers to look they just don't have time but they rarely object to the parents having a look.