My very first AIBU! But more of a WIBU because it’s already done and I doubt very much I’ll encounter the parties involved again any time soon.
My local cinema does a baby cinema club once or twice a week. For those who don’t know, it’s generally adult films but the idea is you bring babies, the sound is a little quieter, lights left dimly on etc. So not designed for the babies or as any kind of sensory experience etc, just as something grown up for mums on maternity leave (babies have to be under 1). Since my DS was about three weeks I’ve been almost every week. I don’t care what’s on, it’s just such a nice thing that allows me to feel grown up for a few hours while DS generally feeds and sleeps. Obviously there will always be some crying/unsettled babies/shushing/cooing at babies. I would say 75% of people at these showings tend to be on their own with baby.
So today, I went as normal, settled in, and a group of four VERY VERY LOUD ladies arrived. I assume NCT friends or similar. Naturally, they sat right behind me and - this is genuinely not an exaggeration - were speaking to each other so loudly I couldn’t hear the trailers, genuinely couldn’t make out the words being said. This annoyed me as I actually really enjoy trailers but I know some people see them as part of the ads so I don’t think it’s reasonable to stop talking at this point.
However, the film started and within 30 seconds it because very very clear that they wouldn’t be stopping their conversation. So, I turned around and said (probably in a bit of a teacher-y voice, I can’t help it) could you please be quiet, the film has started, thank you. I said please, I said thank you; but my tone was probably quite stern. Adding these details to give as much balance as a one-sided account can have. These women were OUTRAGED. Two just laughed at me, one mimicked my words back to me, and I honestly felt like these were school “mean girls”. They didn’t stop talking but, to be fair, it wasn’t constant. I do genuinely think if I hadn’t said something it would have been constant. At the risk of being horribly horribly snobby and judgmental - and yes I ABU for this - they clearly had no interest in their film and weren’t following it at all, when I had to stand up to soothe baby they were all just sat on phones (in between giving me evils that is).
However; from their conversation it was clearly their first time and I admit I am a bit possessive about this time. So here is my AIBU - due to the nature of these screenings, the fact they’re relaxed, the fact they’re designed to get women out of the house at what can be a lonely time etc should I not have, effectively, shamed them for talking? Should I have kept quiet? To be honest, I still had the film ruined as I always overthink confrontations like this despite being very confident and happy to call out bad behaviour when I see it. So if I was going to be sat seething anyway, should I have kept my feelings to myself?