AIBU to not be high maintenance beauty wise?

[Passmethebotox]

Quite light hearted I think!
I was at a friend’s birthday last weekend. He works “in finance “ and there was a mixture of friends, colleagues, old friends, etc.
There was an obvious group of beautiful people. Tall, great hair, immaculate nails and make up and definite suggestions that some of them had some aesthetic improvements made. The all seemed to gravitate to one another even though they were from different groups and hang out taking selfies most of the night.
I’m not a slob. I see my hairdresser regularly and have my eye brows and lashes tinted monthly. I pass for pretty (although can sometimes look like a llama if I get unlucky in photos )
I’m not jealous of their gorgeousness but I am pondering why there is such a jump to their level.
Am I not trying hard enough?
Yes = Up your game girl!
No= Beauty is only skin peel deep!

I like people watching (in person, not on Love Island) so I would settle down to observe... and also look for whoever else is a good laugh. I don't care about beauty. But I do like a good laugh.

Oh, another 'I'm not like other girls' thread. Can't we just support women whether they wear a lot of make up or not? Most of the women I know that are high maintenance (in your words) are high earners. Some aren't.

If it makes you feel good about yourself, do it. If it doesn't, don't.

People who want/need to look like they've spent hours working on their appearance are great, good for them if it's what makes them happy, but I take the approach of wanting to appear, well effortless.

I had a childhood heroine of a retired lady/housewife who wanted to do something for the less fortunate children who came into our school and helped out by giving her time to things like embroidery, reading and doing 'nice' things - Mrs Watts could have been 40, she could have been 80 for all I knew, but she had a perfect, pure white jaw length bob, quiet jewellery, perfect clothes and she had an air of calm and ease that was completely alien to a grubby little grot like me. I wanted so much to be like her when I grew up and glide into a room, rather than thunder in to looks of barely disguised horror and disapproval.

I sort out the basics - good haircut that falls into place, hair removal, eyebrow threading, skin and hair care that makes everything feel its best immediately - and DP does my nails/pedicure and weekly massages. Makeup is the perfect shade and texture (no point spending a hundred on ten things that aren't quite right or need to be mixed with fifteen others; just get the right one first time).

I concentrate my energies on what I see as needed for health - massage, medical treatment, osteopathy, orthotics, dental care, vitamins, a good diet, gentle exercise - I'm high maintenance there - and on the best quality clothes, shoes, jewellery and accessories I can afford that fit and suit me.

If I had the disposable, I'd probably have professional facial treatments just because they feel good. Same way I'd have professional pedicures because the salon has one of those chairs that turns me into jelly from the back pummelling. But it wouldn't make that much of a difference cosmetically (and I've earned my crows' feet - I have quite enough needles on a weekly/monthly/quarterly basis to ever consider paying somebody good money to stick more into me).

Different strokes for different folks, is what I'm trying to say - some people want others to think 'She looks great, she works really hard at maintaining her standards', I'm happy with 'I think she just looks like that naturally'.

You do more than me!

I plucked my eyebrows for the first time in 6 weeks today.

RedPanda2 somehow I don’t feel particularly “supported” by your opinion.... I feel a bit preached at

Or is it just who need to be supportive (fwiw, I think I was) but you can chastise us (to feel like you’re the better person? )

@RedPanda2 I’m not against other women. My reference (in my light hearted thread) to high maintenance doesn’t allude in any judgement to their character or earning. I simply meant higher effort on their part. I didn’t even mention it was just beautiful women. The men were well groomed too. It was just interesting that they all gravitated to one another and posed in one another’s photos.

I regard myself as lower effort than my friends because I don’t get my nails done regularly. One of my friends has Botox. That said, I do have my hair and eye furniture spruced up, which makes me “higher maintenance “ than others. I hope that I am not coming across as judgmental (just because they were beautiful, naturally and with enhancement.)
With regards to becoming friends with them, I have no idea if I would or not as I didn’t get to really talk to any of them.

Seriously, you are not low maintenance 😂

@BiscuitBarrels
@MitziK You make some great points.

My Dad is French and I inherited his natural good looks . French women are generally pretty low key so I use that as my excuse! I have olive skin and my skin is pretty good so I don’t feel the need to cake foundation on. I like wearing red lipstick but that’s all I really wear unless it’s a special occasion then I’ll put winged eyeliner and mascara on. I’ve never worn fake eyelashes or nails.

YANBU OP. I’d much rather be in a low maintenance race to the bottom than the other way around

I enjoy makeup. I like buying it, messing about with it, applying it. Same with skincare
I can waste hours in selfridges beauty hall because swatching makeup is relaxation to me!
I don't really do anything with my nails except paint them and hair gets cut every 5-6 months
But Botox, skincare and makeup I am all over
It's my "thing". You get ready at mine and want a black glitter eyeshadow, a pale gold highlight and a cool toned red lipstick, I'll supply

Why would they hang around taking selfies? Are they 15?

@Passmethebotox are you sure you aren't being a tad disingenuous with your no judgement comment. I can't help but feel the selfie comment was deliberately planted to suggest shallowness. And I hate the 'they must be jealous' suggestions that always happen when someone disagrees, but in this case what else is it? Someone else being beautiful doesn't affect you, but people (women) are so damn sneery about it, I just don't get why you care.

Do whatever makes you feel happy. less is more and all that. personally i cannot stand the current war paint slap on and permanent marker eyebrows that some people think are fashionable. We all age and if people aren't willing to see the real you, and are only interested when you are plastered in make up, then that just speaks volumes about that kind of relationship. Again, as a bloke, I would much prefer to be able to have a conversation and a cuddle on the sofa with someone, than have to wait 3 hrs for them to have triple checked that each eyebrow is in perfect alignment. Be yourself and respect yourself enough to show yourself. Also once a month eyebrows??? They are eyebrows.. Designed to stop dust and stuff getting into your eyes. They don't turn men on. We don't notice. If your lucky we notice about 10% of what you girls do to yourselves and usually that's once it's been pointed out a few times.

I might be considered high maintenance but I pay for it all myself not every woman is financially dependent on a man!

I get masseter Botox for TMD - it’s not a cosmetic procedure but has the side effect of slimming my face

I have had lip filler in the past, it looks natural

Get my hair trimmed and a colour refresh (toner) every 3 months, highlights probably 6-9 months

Other than that, I look after myself. I go to the gym and eat well so my figure is toned. I have a skincare regime and use high end makeup. I keep my nails short but glossy/neutral. The only faff is hair removal.

Oh good the menz is here to tell what they really want ffs

@mansviewpoint I don't plaster makeup on but I certainly don't do my eyebrows or makeup for men, it's all for me and if I want my eyebrows tinted, then I'll get them done
also wear makeup so my boss doesn't send me home because I look like death warmed up!
People say oh it's just because they're not used to seeing you without makeup, no, it's because without it I'm blue tinged and also foundation hides my hive breakouts

@Ffsseriously I mean I'm sure I'm wearing eyeshadow for men who can't tell the different between MAC and makeup geek but yep, it's ALL FOR THEM

It's a hobby to me. Colours, textures, new products, rediscovering an old favourite. Some people use colouring books, I use my face

@mansviewpoint as much as it may shock you to hear this - I don't care what men think, and I certainly don't get my eyebrows done to impress men. I get them done because I prefer the way they look when they're shaped and tinted.

Nothing wrong with being yourself.

@AdoptedBumkin if you mean if be yourself band that is to like grooming make up hair etc. Or if be yourself means low maintenance then I couldn't agree more. That is excactly what we should be supporting everyone being themselves without judging or sneering from others.

@mansviewpoint my partner notices every beauty procedure I have done and compliments it without a single prompt from me. He loves my bare face and my 'war paint caked on' face. In fact, so do my male relatives and friends. Maybe it's just you that is so shallow and asinine that you cannot appreciate self-care, artistry and self-expression.

They don’t turn men on. We don’t notice

@mansviewpoint, are you seriously labouring under the tragic delusion that women’s every grooming move is made in the hope of male approval?

I’ll assume you’re trolling, because no one is that self-deluded in 2020.

Just Re read my message sorry for the typos
@AdoptedBumkin if what you mean by be yourself is that if you like grooming make-up hair etc., or are low maintenance and both are of equal value. Then I couldn't agree more. That is exactly what we should be supporting everyone being themselves without judging or sneering from others.

Is what it should have said