**TMI** Consent related query

[SoggyFroggy]

Background:
Been with DP for 5 years, have a young child together.
DP has recently had a piercing 'down there', since then its been lots of foreplay as full intercourse is still off the cards with his healing process atm. Often we'll have a 'break' then go back to continue or for round 2.

Query:

So last night DP & I were having a 'session', I needed a break for 5 mins so said so, he suddenly flipped and got quite cross, saying that consent works both ways and he wouldn't of bothered pleasing me if I had no intention of returning the favour. I told him this wasn't the case, I had every intention of returning the favour, I just needed a few minutes break, as he does sometimes. We'll both go out for a cigarette together as a little 'breather'. Last night however, he made it clear that he thinks the 'break' thing we've been doing for the past 5 years is only for him, not me.

He's remained in a foul mood all day and will not drop it.

AIBU or is he?

Is it that unusual to have a break
It's probably different as I'm single but if I meet up with someone then we might have foreplay - break - foreplay or sex once then a break. If it's sort of dragged out over a couple of hours

clientqueen I think having a break is unusual if both parties have yet to climax. If it had taken either me or him so long to climax that we need a break then I am concluding it isn’t a stimulating enough experience and isn’t worth the effort so any break at that point would be the end of the session. No point flogging a dead horse and all. Both climaxing and then having a break before jumping back in is perhaps less unusual. If one person reaches climax and goes off for a fag leaving the other person unsatisfied (and does this regularly) they are just selfish IMO, even if they will be coming back to finish the job.

Ah. Yeah makes sense. I tend to have a lot more than one hence the break! So usually i would have but he wouldn't or we would be going back for a second time

I thought you were going to say he didnt get your “consent” for the piercing !!!!

Sounds devoid of any passion, if you're taking breaks (especially fag breaks).

Who is the piercing for? I've never slept with a guy that has one, but I've always known it would male me run a mile, because to my mind, the guy must be showing his dick to alot of people to make it worth stabbing a needle through his foreskin.

I'm guessing sex is going to be off the cards for a long time : I had the top of my ear pierced last summer, and it still causes me enough pain that I have to lie on the other side in bed. And it's fully healed. Goodness knows how much more sensitive a foreskin would be!

he suddenly flipped and got quite cross, saying that consent works both ways and he wouldn't of bothered pleasing me if I had no intention of returning the favour

Yeah that's not what consent is. He sounds like a teenage boy trying to get his rocks off rather than an adult man in a reciprocal sexual relationship.

He just sounds like a horrible twat tbh

Why do you need "breaks" in the first place, it's not a marathon!

So it took an hour for you to climax, he hadn't at all, you wanted a cigarette and then to get on with it for another hour and he sulked?

Well he is unreasonable of course, but I think if I'd spent an hour getting frisky for DH to climax and then he wandered off for a cigarette I'd be a bit moody

@LagunaBubbles well an hours in and one climax between them, I think it might be

"Session"

@SoggyFroggy

any chance you two do consulting! I would mind a few lessons!

This all sounds incredibly unsexy, no wonder it's taking you both hours to get off.

Do you get fully dressed and go and stand in the garden having a fag then troop back upstairs and get naked again?

I’m not following

This is all sounds like way too much effort. I'd rather a bit of cake and a cup of tea.

He gets a break when he fancies one but you have to carry on well after you want to stop? There's a name for that.