To think dp could help with housework&walking the dog??

[babayjane67]

Hi
Just that really! He works ft as a lorry driver but he starts&finishes at different times so can be home anywhere between 9am&3pm(usually not as late as that)
I've recently taken on another pt job at DDS school so I'm up at6 wake her at half past&we are out the door at 7.15 to start work at 7.30.finish at 9 it's getting on for 9.30 by time I walk home.then I have to walk the dog,fir half HR/HR come bk do housework,try&get some brekky before I then leave again for my other job at 11.45 I'm bk from that by 1.45 latest.i walk the dog again for an hr.plus the last month or so my mum's been in hosp so I've been visiting in the afternoons(I don't drive so have to rely on dp to take me) so poor dogs missed out on her walks a bit lately.im struggling to fit everything in I need to do&so have said to dp about helping with housework&or taking dog out.he won't! Says no I leave that to u love.his whole attitude is I've been working why should I have to do anything once I'm home? He won't even wash up on a work day!he will quite happily sit there on his laptop while I'm vacuuming,polishing whatever&won't lift a finger to help!
So now I'm thinking of getting a cleaner so then I can concentrate on taking the dog out for some nice longer walks&have a brekky that isn't in the run!
I have couple of friends that house clean so have asked&one of them has space&will do it.im seriously thinking of doing it!
Aibu??

Oh my word! How I Understand your problem. When I once asked my husband to finish the hoovering in the drawing room before guests arrived he gave me a cool look and said "I don't keep a dog ….."! Not sure how you can change his attitude but jolly well hope you do. Good Luck.

Why are you with him? Seems like such a waste of your life

Why don't you learn to drive, then you'll free up more time for yourself and be able to look at jobs further afield (if you wanted to). You won't be reliant on him to drive you places either. If he won't walk the dog and you haven't the time to and it's HIS dog, I'd be tempted to rehome it. He sounds stuck in the 50's, except he tolerates you working so you have a bit of your own money and he doesn't have to give you any.

No offence but he sounds stuck in the 1950s. Yes he works, but so do you.. x2! I would be telling him to either start contributing or to get out and find someone else to mummy him.

Fuck my life, who are these men? You work two jobs and sort the house and dog and he works one and then sits on his arse for the rest of the day. What a Prince amongst men.
Id be upping his salt content secretly and waiting for him to keel over.

Perfect opportunity to post this.

Time to get tough. Don't do his laundry and stop cooking for him. Tell him that's what's happening from now on and he can like it or lump it just like the attitude he has towards you regarding walking the dog etc.

Did he always do his bit and now has suddenly morphed into a lazy arsehole? If he has never done it you've enabled him and now have a hell of a job getting him to behave like an adult.

Good luck.

I agree with what PPs have said. He needs to either do his share or pay, not expect you to pay.

Doing the bins and recycling does not equal half the house work. Since I’ve been a single parent, I’ve completely eliminated this as a job work even mentioning, by taking stuff out / getting kids to take it out as we go along. There’s no big job one night a week of remembering and sorting the bins (which my exh used to like to make as disgusting and heavy as possible so that only he could really do it) - it’s already done as everything goes out throughout the week.

Is it his own rig OP?
My friend's OH was a long distance lorry driver and would take the dog with him a few days a week.
It worked out well- as an HGV driver he had to take a 45 minute break every five hours, so even on the road the dog wsa never short of exercise.
THe dog enjoyed the company and the ever changing sights and smells of new walks.
Friends OH enjoyed the company too- especially on cold nights when he slept in the lorry.

Gave my friend a break from having to do all the caring and walking for the dog- especially when her OH was away.

Ok I'll try &answer everything!lol
Gabriella he pays most of the bills ie rent,gas,elec,all things car related,water&shopping(which he mostly gets as he has to pass our local supermarket on way home)
I pay council tax,my mob phone bill,all DDS school dinners&trips now it's gone to online payments (we were doing trips between us before),our NationalTrust membership.sometimes I pay for the animals flea&worm stuff sometimes he does(we have a cat too) he pays for holidays plus spends unless I've got enough saved up then I help with spends.cant think of anything else just now.
Speak out no he doesn't have his own rig it belongs to the comp. I don't think he'd take her if he could anyway to be honest.

Silversurfer he's always been the same really.weve been together 13 yrs nearly known him nearly 16. He's done housework when I've been ill recovering from an op&had to cook but other than that no he's never really done anything unless it's something HE decides to do.

Percheron how did u change yr husband's attitude?

My significant other is also a lorry driver. I have exactly the same problems. It’s only getting worse as he gets older. Every so often I erupt as discussing the matter doesn’t work. Erupting does, for awhile. I can’t be arsed to leave him as I really don’t see any improvement in the newer models. Sometimes better the devil you know.

Bargebill he hasn't always been a lorry driver.hes always been this way though
I go from thinking it's not too bad&better the devil u know to thinking I don't want to be with him anymore!!

Sorry! I was beginning to think it was the lorry drivers partners curse. I totally get what you say. After 30 years - I’m going with the devil I know!

I think he should help more but on your wages paying a cleaner seems mad. I'd just cut back on the cleaning, stop cooking cleaning for him go a start.

That's ok Bargebill!lol
My friend charges 25 quid for 2 hrs but that's everything top to bottom.u can have every wk every Fortnite whatever or u can have a n hr.
I guess the price is about averagey other friend charges 10quid an HR but she's not taking on anymore.

OP in the kindest possible way, you are a mug. So your OH:
Does nothing around the house
Won’t cook
Won’t walk the dog
And he also wants you to pay for his laziness!!
Wake up and kick him out until he stops being a lazy chick lodger. And please stop calling it “helping”. It’s called being an adult 🙁

How old is your daughter?
You work 3 hrs a day. How can you not manage to do housework during the rest of the day?
He pays all the bills and does all the shopping. You say he won't even wash up if its a work day, which suggests that he does do stuff on his days off. He does all the gardening, you say the garden is large and you are complaining he doesn't do enough?

Babyjane: I didn't manage to do that. He died.