Degree and new baby?

[Motherclucker01]

Has anyone managed a degree whilst being pregnant, having newborn and then young baby without taking time off a full-time degree? (open University)

I have a friend that is trying for a baby. This is lovely news and she’ll be an excellent mum. I have 100% told her I’ll be there to help in anyway I can and her DH is excellent although works full-time. The only issue I can see is she’s doing a long distance degree. She thinks she can get far enough ahead to not have to give up the degree at all (not even go part-time)
I can see why she wants to get the degree over with as soon as she can while baby would be young but I’m not sure if it’s manageable?

I said I would get the collective hive mind of MN!

So do you think it’s possible? Or is she over estimating her time management skills?

(I will help out with childcare at friends home while friend studies reasonably often if needed but work strange hours, although this might work out better)

YABU - no chance!
YANBU - of course she can!

Yep I did! Also a single parent and my daughter didn’t sleep for more than 4 hours until she was two. I did use a childminder for a few hours a week when I could, mainly to catch up on sleep! Only achieved a 2.2 though which was a disappointment but I spent three years in a knackered state, would do it again though.

In retrospect it was far easier studying/revising with a tiny baby than with a toddler. But the first one is a big adjustment and it’s hard to know how you will feel .

I had 2 children during a PhD and took 12 months off both times. I had intended 6 months off but I was still breastfeeding and when it came down to it I didn't want to hand them over to someone else. It isn't physically impossible of course not you can sit breastfeeding and typing with 1 hand or reading etc, but you don't get that time back with a baby, you want to actually enjoy the time. You also need to factor in feeling shattered too. It's not something I'd attempt knowing how hard it was, I had intended to do some work on mat leave and never even got as far as opening a document to write!

I'm sure she can suspend or move to pt even on an undergraduate course. I'd lean towards encouraging her to do that, unless of course there are practical or financial pressures which are dictating her needing to finish sooner.

The OU is particularly good about flexibility - deferring and banking assessments etc - but you need to make sure you know the T&Cs for your particular programme/modules

I completed CIMA to fully qualified with babies/toddlers, but I had (still have!) a very supportive husband and employer. It was slow going but I got there in the end, taking a couple of modules at a time, doing some weekend courses. Actually for me I think it was a good thing as it gave me an interest and some sense of achievement outside of motherhood, which to be honest I found pretty tedious most of the time. Taking an exam when DD2 was quite tiny and refusing to bottle feed at all (I was expressing, but she just wanted me) was a little bit trying, but still manageable. She went without a feed for about 6 hours on the day of the exam, despite my husband doing his best to get her to take a bottle - I still remember the relief on her little face when I walked back through the door!

With the OU you can apply to have an invigilator come to your house - it might not be feasible in which case there are other options (regular breaks at exam venue to breastfeed etc) - but having the possibility is great. Not relishing the idea of having to stop/start the exam, but at least I know the baby will be ok

Hang on - you say she is "trying for a baby", not that she is pregnant. I hope she conceives easily, but she may not, or for years, or at all, so she shouldn't put something like this on hold on the assumption that she will fall pregnant in the first few months of trying. Start the degree, and IF she gets pregnant, and it's a tough pregnancy or birth or early months/years, she can go part time or pause it for a while.

I do it part time and find it hard enough. Was studying before baby, pregnant and having had baby. The issue is I'm worn out and in the evenings when I get down time I don't want to study, and I know I'll be up multiple times in the night so get to bed early rather than study. She shouldn't put the pressure on herself IMO.

I think it’s wise to consider taking some time off and then going back to finish up. If she has support and childcare in place from early on, there’s no reason the same couldn’t be available when her baby is 9-12 months old. Those early months are intense but you also don’t get them back.

I did a PhD while pregnant and when dc1 was young. It’s completely doable if you have childcare, whether that’s family or friends or a partner who takes over in evenings/on weekends, or paid childcare. But I took 11 months off and was totally focused on my baby. I went back when I felt ready and then it was very doable. I wouldn’t have wanted to give up that time with my baby when she was young though.

It didn’t impact on my progression though, in fact, I still finished ahead of lots of my childfree peers who didn’t take a year off.

I had a baby while studying full time. I had to take time off for financial reasons but if I had the cash I could have gone on without a break. It did effect my degree outcome (ended up with a 2:1) but it saved me interrupting my career.

I know people who in this situation, successfully did OU degrees. She needs to be focussed and excited by her subject.