AIBU about husband

[MouthBreathingRage]

And is bloody mouth breathing! A quick background, he's always seemed to have sinus issues. He can't smell very well (if I suspect the milk is off, there's no point asking him to check it, as a small example), can't take deep breaths through his nose, snores like an elephant, can't eat his food without loudly breathing in and most rage inducing - the mouth breathing!

Last year I did manage to get him to go to the doctor (it was actually a HCP he saw on the day), but they helpfully suggested I should just get ear plugs for the snoring , and a quick light up the nose apparently didn't show any polyps.

It's getting worse again, especially since he's getting over a cold. It's like sitting next to Darth Vader on the sofa in the evening, if we're trying to watch tv together all I can hear is his heavy breath next to me. It leads to arguments when I ask him to please try to close his mouth, and him making exaggerated breathing through his nose (until he forgets in 2 minutes and we return to his Sith Lord ways).

I'm not just being a nag, I'm genuinely worried about his health as well. He's not overweight, hardly ever drinks alcohol, and in his early 30s. Sleep apnea is my main concern, but it's not doing any favours for his mouth either. So is it me getting wound up about 'one of those things' or should he really go back to the doctors sooner rather than later?

(I have name changed, as he knows my other username and didn't want to risk him coming across me having a moan ).

I understand it must be annoying but what do you want him to do about it?

My son is like this. He's had his adenoids out twice! It could be your husband needs his removing too.

Back to the doctors mouth breathing on this scale is not good

@WorraLiberty, I want him to try anything to relieve his breathing issues. He wont try strips, he won't go back to the doctor, he doesn't hear himself so thinks there's no issue. This surely can't be normal for an otherwise healthy man in his early 30s?

Yes back to the doctors i think.

I'd get him referred to a specialist ear/nose/throat doctor. I had problems with breathing and it's caused by my nasal passages being too narrow. My specialist put this device up my nose and twisted it slightly (didn't hurt) to expand the passage and OMG, the difference! It was to show me what the difference would be if I had an operation to correct it. Nobody chooses to mouth breathe or snore, and his symptoms sound as though there's something there that needs to be corrected.

OP, if he's in denial then record him at his worst and play it back to him. Make it clear you're not prepared to put up with it if it's something that can possibly be treated/corrected.

My husband has an ENT appointment in a couple of weeks for the same issues you're talking about. I'd send him back to the GP

Its deffo his adenoids. Get the GP to refer to the ENT consultant at your local hospital. My son COULD NOT breathe through his nose at all, ate with his mouth open, snored etc. When the ENT guy put a tiny camera up his nose you could see this enormous adenoid completely blocking his nose at the back.

He had them out, woke up in recovery with snot pouring from his nose for a minute and then exclaimed loudly, "I can BREATHE!!!!" and he's been a different kid ever since.

Ahh I see. In that case all you can do is try to persuade him to go back to the GP.

You can't 'send him' anywhere or get him referred to a specialist. He has to want to do that himself.

@SharesinClarks, I'll look up adenoids! I really don't want to do to the doctor with him, but I don't think he explained the full extent of his issues last time. As I said, I don't think he knows how bad it is or how badly it could effect him. He's already waking up feeling like hes not slept, and having dental issues.

Ask him to get an appointment with his actual GP for a referral to an ear, nose & throat specialist. If he has suffered with sinus problems for years there should be no issue in getting a referral. Your resentment will only get worse if there is no active attempt by him to try and improve his condition.

He needs referring to ENT. He needs to go back to his G.P and insist on a referral.
He has a right to a second opinion, utilise that right.

He needs to see an ENT who will investigate. My son has no idea he's breathing through his mouth either & can't hear himself. Hope your husband sees sense & goes to his doctor.

My ex drove me nuts with his breathing! He actually had an operation on his nose to help the problem. I can't remember now what the doctor diagnosed to get the op though as it was a years ago.

Just googling adenoids and it does seem to fit, despite him being older. It mentions ear problems, I've been wondering recently if he's starting to suffer hearing loss as well. Or it could be selective deafness from my nagging.

Thank you everyone. I'll try and speak to him again about this, and if it doesn't work then I'll record him (it's a bit of a last resort). It's nothing in the grand scheme of things, but living with it day in and out is maddening for both of us. I know he can't help it in the short term, but there must be a medical solution to this.

It must also be driving his work colleagues mad? Perhaps mention this to him, that might get him to the docs.

@chilling19, he's in a job that requires a lot of talking, and other times he's usually on his own doing his work. I doubt many of his colleagues are around him long enough to notice. A friend of mine did but didn't feel comfortable saying anything, and of course 'my mate Jane says you have an issue, so there', never goes down well.

I guess I would make him think about it, so his self consciousness propels him to the docs. Or you could move bedrooms until he sorts it?

Or you could move bedrooms until he sorts it?

Already done that, unfortunately. I'm now considering separate living rooms and eating areas (I'm joking, mostly. Divorce is expensive....).

Definitely a referral to ENT needed. DS had adenoid trouble - different child now. DH had cartilage damage (from it being broken several times) and it had collapsed on one side. Surgery rectified it and although it's not perfect - it's a million times better than it was.

Just to add - I mentioned above about my own breathing problems, but I don't have adenoids as had them out as a child, so although it could well be adenoids, it's not definitely that. ENT referral will find out one way or another.