To wonder if anyone else has suffered with imposter syndrome?!

[WinterNCs]

I’m relatively a young (29) female who has worked in a specialist (and male dominated) field for a number of years, receiving a couple of promotions along the way. I’ve now found myself securing a huge new opportunity with a new employer at a much more senior level. It’s an opportunity I didn’t think would ever be within my reach and certainly not so young.

Since accepting the job I’ve been crippled with self-doubt about my ability, nervous about being responsible other professionals who are twice my age, generally feeling like a fraud and as though I’m not worth even half of the salary they’ll be paying me. I worry that when I start, I’ll be ‘found out’ and they’ll realise I’m not even slightly as good as they must think I am. My anxiety levels have increased to the point where I’ve been tempted to pull out of the opportunity all together before I make a fool of myself and just stick to my current role, which offers no progression. My sensible head tells me I have to go for it.

I’m wondering how many other people suffer with a case of imposter syndrome in the corporate world and if so, how on earth do you get over it?! I guess it’d be nice to know I’m not alone!

Yes , I do frequently and I have been in my profession 20 years . Even when all my lesson observations are continually rated outstanding by by the head teacher I worry that each is a fluke and I will be “found out” that I can’t teach .

Me too. Every day. Objectively I know it should be all ok, I work hard and I know my stuff. But I'm constantly gripped by a fear that not only will my (mostly male) bosses are going to realise eventually that I'm useless but the regulator is going to visit the office one day, examine my deficiencies, haul me in front of a tribunal, fine me and strike me off. It's 12 more years of this until I can maybe retire!! It's like still being at school and worrying about being shouted at in front of the whole class but bigger.

@Galvantula thank you!

Yes all the time. I am a healthcare professional of over 30 yrs who has run their own business ( now sold as part of wind down plan) and will be retiring in 4 years. I think it’s down to people’s attitude when I chose to go into the profession. I’m from the generation that was expected to get married and become a SAHM after a few years “playing “ at being a HCP. Very few of the women I qualified with gave up due to improved maternity benefits .

Yes! But I didn’t even know that’s what it was until I read this thread! Following with interest

It's a great book btw.

I DIdn’t think would ever be within my reach and certainly not so young

Im struck by this. There is an identity/belief thing going on. It'll get better over time (how long depends on your own convincement strategies) - the more you are successful in role the more it will reinforce your identity.

If you did some work about how you think about your work identity you could probably speed it up.

I have it so bad sometimes I worry that I don't have it bad enough to have imposter syndrome grin
Haha!

I even get it being on MN sometimes! I think everyone on here is so much more intelligent and knowledgeable than I am and one day MNHQ will find out and ban me

100% imposter here.

I started a new job and by every measurably index I’m performing above my targets. And my managers are pleased.
Yet in my mind it’s all luck and I’ll be caught out soon for being a fraud.

I’ve been awarded a PhD I didnt think I really deserved, and probably a degree before that.

"It’s like I’m staring in Leonardo DiCaprio’s film ‘Catch Me If You Can’ every day of my working life!"

OP, you have no idea how close to the mark this is regarding my life! We have few women in my profession, so we tend to mentor each other where we can. My mentor regularly tells me to 'own the role.' So I do.

I think I have....or I am as shit at my job as I think I am and no one has told me to my face.

I'm actually currently considering applying for a job in a lower grade as I don't feel like I will ever fully grasp & feel comfortable in the job I've been doing for the last 2 years.

I feel dread every night at the thought of going to work the next day

Definitely. Started a new job in August and spent the first 5 months panicking about not being good enough. And I was imagining that Senior management must be thinking they were paying me too much because what was I offering that others underneath me weren’t? At Christmas, one of the Senior Managers nominated me for an award for hitting the ground running and making such a difference. I was genuinely flabbergasted. And then annoyed at myself for worrying so much! Do take the job, ask lots of questions, arrange catch ups with lots of people in every department, be friendly and approachable and don’t give yourself a hard time. It is scary but if they think you are up to the job, am sure you are. And if you aren’t straight away, put in some extra hours on weekends at first to swot up or research or get up to speed and you’ll get there. Am now 7 months in and feeling more confident again. Your self esteem will grow again once you have a few good things happen. Good luck!

Yes me too despite being v senior and experienced.
Very unusual in men apparantly - someone told me there is a saying when it comes to promotions
Men think - that's great I can do that job I already know how to do half and women think I can't possibly apply I only know how to do half. The confidence level is completely different.

On and off, all through my career I have felt this and fought this feeling too. One of the most helpful things I have done is to think “what if it was X in my position, would I think they couldn’t do this or don’t deserve to be there?” - sometimes as women we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, and sometimes thinking about how we might apply the same scenario to someone else really helps reality check things.

Get a mentor if you can and go for it. I feel the biggest difference between men and women making progress is often the men will go into new jobs feeling confident they deserve them and women will be full of doubt as they can’t already do everything perfectly! I know that’s not always the case but it’s startlingly often exactly how it it!

This was me. Ten or more years from finishing my 'big job' (total closure and generous redundancy package). I can't imagine how I got through every day, monitoring currency fluctuations and situations developing overseas in markets we sold to, stopping material part way across the world from being delivered.

I was once introduced at a conference as, the stainless steel expert in exporting, I turned round expecting another, more competent person to be stood behind me.

I got through it, with the help of many cigarettes and did fuck up a few times but they were overlooked, I don't think anyone noticed to be honest.

Go for it.

Not in work, I'm fine there. However I recently lost a lot of weight, almost 6 stone.

I struggle with my new clothes, I go to normal shops and feel like someone will find out I shouldn't be there. I've but my new jeans away in my children's wardrobes thinking they were theirs, looking at the size of them and never imagining they are mine. I could go on and on, but I genuinely think I am delusional and could never have lost the weight.

Recently retired teacher here. I've had imposter syndrome for about 20 years and I still worry that the person who's taken over my job as Senco will find out just how much of an imposter I am!

I had a conversation with a colleague at my retirement do last week about this very thing. She's been a teacher for 3 years. She couldn't understand what I was talking about! She thinks she's a great teacher, and can't understand why she keeps getting rubbish feedback when she's been observed 🤦🏼‍♀️

ALL THE TIME

I do wonder if it's a female thing.....

Like we've been told for so long we can only be SAHMs and shouldn't expect anything else.

The trick is to just not let it win. You can do the job, deep down you know you can do it.

This makes me dread going into work... I work in a male dominated field where the large majority have Stem degrees. Mine was a bit of a mickey mouse degree and although I know rationally that I've worked hard to get here... I still don't feel that I should be here. It makes me dread going into work because I feel like I'm doing such an awful job. I was searching for gardening jobs last week as a way out 😂.

Yup, see my username .

I get through it by shutting up the voice that tells me my PhD award was a mistake and, when I remember, looking at my email signature as I couldn’t have fooled so many people, could I??

And it's the reactions of men as well.

I work on a mixed team and have to spend a lot of time telling customers what we need from them, as well as interpreting policy. I find that male members of the team say it and it's accepted. I get a lot more push back. It's so pointless discussing it because it is what it is but people will argue. My male colleague doesn't get it. He thinks I'm entering in to a debate about it all. I'm not. I do the same as he does. I say what we need. I know what the rules are.
Also, there have been complaints made about me when in fact I did nothing more than give information that callers didn't want to hear.
We used to do something that we now do not do.

There are calls put through to us if we are the team. But often, callers are ''pushed'' on to me even though I know that's not my area and I cannot help, but some admin staff have fed feedback to my boss that I wasn't taking calls. I have sat opposite male colleague saying ''nope! not for me!'' and he put down the phone and let the customer service agent find a different advisor.

Another man I work with, when people ring in and have totally the wrong end of the stick, he will say ''who told you that!'' and I say ''no unfortunately that is not the case''.

I spend at least 20 more minutes a day just reiterating what I've said already. My male colleagues don't need to do this.

It's no wonder we doubt ourselves while men are gizzed on hubris.

I get this too, and it's one of the factors that stops me applying for higher roles, even though I've been specifically asked to apply. Also male-dominated industry.

If you're a perfectionist, very critical of yourself etc, then working with a counsellor on schema related psychology might be helpful.

I certainly did when i first became a Consultant. I rember talking to one of my old friends from medical school and saying "When we were juniors, Consultants all seemed really grown up and to know everything didn't they? So how come I don't feel like that?" It made me feel a bit better to know that he felt the same!
I remember one really surreal moment when I had been in post for about 3 years. I got a call at about 3am even though I wasn't on call. It was one of my colleagues - the most senior guy in the department- saying he was really sorry to disturb me but he was having problems with an extremely complex patient and would like my advice. I wanted to say "What! You want my advice? Have you lost your mind?!" but actually I was able to think of some different approaches that were helpful and it was perhaps a turning point in how I viewed myself. I know we shouldn't determine our own self worth by how others see us, but when you are struggling to value yourself, sometimes realising that other people do think you are good is a huge help. OP, I bet there are people in your workplace who really value you. Often we don't tell people that though. We are quick to criticise and very slow to praise. I attend a human factors course a few years ago and that was one of the things discussed. I started thanking people and giving praise a lot more after that. And not just saying a bland "thanks" to my team at the end of the day, but picking out specific things that were praiseworthy. Interestingly, since I started doing that, not only have I noticed other people have more self confidence, so do I, and I've noticed a lot more positive comments coming back my way too.
I have progressed beyond not feeling like a Consultant now - though I still don't feel very grown up and I definitely don't know everything! But now I feel ok about not knowing everything.

I think it’s clear from the responses here that it’s the most normal feeling!! And I bet when you get to the new job there will be plenty of people around you who have it too!
I found for me coaching and particularly coaching with an NLP coach really helped and I’ve actively sought out workplace mentors with people I really respect and can be open and vulnerable with helps too - being able to admit to someone you respect and think wouldn’t suffer with it that you feel like an imposter can give so much guidance but also reassurance as I’ve never had anyone turn round and say anything other than “me too at some point!!”

Good luck you’ll be fab!

All the time! I have a very responsible job but periodically suddenly think “why the fuck are they asking me..?”

Oh yes. Also at being an adult. When a child says "ask that lady" I'm like "me? Where's the more adult adult?!"