Seeing something about you in someone's messages.

[Ipsy56]

WWYD if you were looking at someone's messages and you saw them saying some mean/untrue things about you to someone else? I'm not asking AIBU for looking through messages as I know it is (innocent intentions though). Would you mention it to the person or just leave it and pretend you saw nothing. The comments were things that are untrue and a bit spiteful as the person talking knows how hard things have been for the person in question. This isn't between partners but about family members

You don't have much of a leg to stand on if you were snooping OP, if you address it they'll get defensive and turn it back on you that you "shouldn't have been looking in my messages". So probably not much point. Maybe distance yourself from this person. If they ask why tell them you know they've been cruel about you behind your back but don't tell them how you know?

There's a phrase, I can't remember exactly how it goes but it's along the lines of "don't read others messages if you don't want to read horrible things about yourself."

I know it's hard as I've done it myself, I'm certainly not criticising you for reading messages, but you have to deal with the consequences if you do.

No one ever has "innocent intentions" when snooping through messages. it's an invasion of privacy, though one numerous MNetters will tell you to do as soon as your partner mentions one new female name at work.

YABU.

In your instance I would say something as A: You said the things they are saying about you aren’t true and B: If you don’t say anything it will fester and you will be constantly thinking if they are still making up lies about you.

But as others have said, be prepared to be accused of snooping.

Thanks everyone, I think I'm going to leave it. It's not worth the falling out and I already feel pretty guilty

I’ve had this before when someone was searching for a work email from me and it popped up of a bitchy one. It hurt but I ignored it. Didn’t want to give them the satisfaction and now I’m just extra careful around them. Hope you’re okay