AIBU - hand hold

[CheshireCat12]

I'm just in massive need of a hand hold at the moment. - sorry for the double posting, meant to post here originally.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, been on medication for the past year or so which has taken the edge off and I experience less suicidal thoughts than I did, however I still experience swings of ups and downs.

I just feel really low at the moment, arguing with myself inside my head. Trying to get out of the fog but can't seem to make any real progress. I'm at work at the moment trying to focus on stuff that really needs to be done but my mind keeps wandering off to just complete blankness.

I've tried my normal calming / distraction techniques but I just feel like nothing is helping. I know I need to pull myself together and get on with it, but all I really want to do is shut myself away, scream and cry!

There isn't anyone around really who I can talk to, doesn't help that I can't put how I am feeling into words. The best way I can describe it is as though there is a dark cloud fogging up my head.

I guess I'm just posting for company / to not feel quite so alone.

I have just joined mums net to specifically reply to you. You are not alone and if it is any consolation I have been through this myself, feeling like I was in a black hole. I just tried to do the smallest thing everyday that gave me a little pleasure and then when I felt stronger I truly found exercise helped me. At my worst I couldn't read, which I had always loved, or bear to listen to music. Slowly without even realising things did improve, although I still have dark days. I understand how you are feeling and all I can say is life can get better. I found CBT really helped me. I was allowed 6 weeks through my doctor. Just talking to someone impartial really helped me. The grey days don't help. Just hold on it can get better. Sending you kind thoughts

Thank you so much, your reply means a lot. I've seen a few different therapists, but I always end up just not going, partly due to my anxiety and partly cause I find I struggle to put it into words.

I think it takes a while sometimes to find the therapist that works for you so don't give up. I couldn't put anything into words at the beginning I just sat and sobbed but i gradually was able to get something out. Am happy to listen anytime.

Thank you :) I just don't want to waste their time! x

You won't be.