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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say something?

4 replies

ifeeltheneedtheneedforsleep · 27/01/2020 09:22

I live in a semi and had "new" neighbours move in 2 years ago. Previous neighbours were fab and never had a cross word with them. New neighbours were a nightmare before they even moved in - created a building site without a word of apology or explanation including hammering and banging at 8am on Sunday mornings and 10pm at night, rodent problems from moving drainage. We tried to speak to them amicable as did another neighbour but the husband in particular was downright rude - seemed to have a real issue with women and would wait til DH was out before coming to the door and making demands about random nonsense or would constantly bark at the single lady on the other side. Got so bad at one point that DH had to go to him and tell him to back off and deal with him if he had an issue. He actually said to DH that the only reason was because I'm stressed because "I work and have a child" (he apparently believes women should stay at home and shouldn't be allowed to work).
Anyway, they had a second child 16 months ago - prior to the baby's arrival, almost every night we were subjected to the wife going off on one, shouting and screaming and slamming things at 1 and 2am. Baby came along and for a couple of months it was fairly quiet. Then the baby started screaming most of the night which would lead to the wife banging doors etc. I ignored it, babies cry after all but now 14 months later it's worse than ever. The little girl literally screams for 50% of the night (and as she's a toddler now it's not exactly low level), the mother shouts (no idea if at baby or husband as it's not in English), slams doors and drawers (right through the wall from bedroom so super loud). Then during the day - when he's at work, child screams so she will turn music up full blast (not sure what's worse!).
Another neighbour has mentioned this to the wife on several occasions (as she can still hear it from her house) and every time she has come up with a different reason for the child screaming. Neighbour is a health professional so she's tried to suggest different options for help but just keeps getting excuses and brushed off.

Last night was a nightmare - from 12.10 the screaming started followed by the shouting and went on til after 4 this morning off and on. My ds was up with the noise as well. I'm currently pregnant so not sleeping that well as it is. AIBU to say to her that I can tolerate a child crying but not if it's because she's doing nothing about it and certainly not her shouting in the middle of the night? We don't have a great relationship as it is but I'm seriously at my wits end with this.

OP posts:
starlight86 · 27/01/2020 10:20

"IAIBU to say to her that I can tolerate a child crying but not if it's because she's doing nothing"

I dont think you can say that, however i do think you can say something.

I would maybe say that you are not complaining about the crying but her shouting and slamming things is the issue. TBH if you think shes being aggressive (shouting and slamming things near the child) with the child i would maybe think about phoning social services because it doesn't really sound ideal.

Kids cry and make noise but it does seem a little excessive.

LilyPinkNoah · 27/01/2020 10:22

If you’re pregnant you must be seeing your midwife - or do you still have access to a Health Visitor? Personally I wouldn’t be saying anything but speaking to a health professional about your concerns. Sounds like this lady needs a lot of support and has a controlling husband.

misspiggy19 · 27/01/2020 10:23

I would report to social services- screening for hours, turning music so loud to drown out a child screaming

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 27/01/2020 10:27

Report the music noise to the council and report the screaming and crying to a health visitor/social services. They obviously aren't going to engage with you given their past performance. If it's the middle of the night as well I'd be inclined to make a call to the police and report worrying noises from next door which, if its waking everyone up, will likely be heard by the call handler.

I've called police on my neighbours after hearing shouting, screaming, banging then utter silence. Turned out to be the son refusing to go to bed and throwing a strop but I felt better knowing I hadn't been listening to anything untoward and done nothing.

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