AIBU or is motherhood like groundhog day

[Elliesmommy]

Same thing every day. I have a nearly 4 year old 2 year old and nearly 6 month old. It's hard work . We do the same routine every day. My husband is gone working long hours to provide so I do it all alone regarding kids and home.

Do other SAHMs feel the same ?
Any tips on how to change ?
Could it possibly be PND ?

Thanks in advance

I feel like this. A treadmill of same same same. I live rurally so no friends or family really locally and doing anything means a drive. I'm hoping I'll feel better when the weather improves and we can spent some time in the garden! I'm also looking for a job.

Ah you are not wrong. Same situation - all my friends work so no one around during the week. It can get lonely! If you’re in Surrey i am around!

I think the repetition is just the nature of the beast though (I do find it much easier though when we have classes as part of the routine).

I find bedtimes like groundhog day, especially when my husband is away working and I have to do maybe 30 in a row.

I've made sure to create different things to do in the days though so i can identify which day of the week it is. We go out every day so Mon is gymnastics, Tues is swimming, Wed is music class etc. I have 2 and they are the same ages as your eldest 2, but I quite enjoy our weekdays. Between nursery and clubs I'm busy and the day flies in. I do find weekends and definitely holidays harder when there are no clubs or nursery on. So I think clubs are the answer for me at least. Is that something you do/could do?

Surely you must have known this after the 2nd at least!

Theres always one nothing better to do and add a smart comment.

Thanks for the suggestions. I find classes very hard with 3 of them on my own. We do get out to playgrounds or visit friends who have the same aged kids. I just find it all monotonous at the moment.

Whether you work or not I still find it’s Groundhog Day.

Totally agree with you. SAHM was not for me. Min are older now so it's not like that anymore but the first year at home with DTs nearly sent me over the edge. I went back to work 3 days a week and was a much better parent for it.

Gets easier once they start school and nursery and it breaks the day up a bit. We used to go to baby group twice a week to spilt it up a bit, shopping on another day, swimming and seeing family etc. It does get a bit samey though, I find having a hobby to yourself helps even if it’s a bit of Netflix binging.

Christ yes, you are right - classes with 3 would be a nightmare!!! I am the same as a PP where each day is a class, but perhaps you could do your own class? Like take them swimming on your own in the baby pool every Monday? Farm visit or something every Tuesday? Playground every wed?

I find weekends much harder when DH is home in lots of ways as the house ends up inexplicably 10 x messier and routine is out of kilter!

You have really little ones quite close in age, that must feel like a slog at times. Mind are 7 4 and 2 and I feel like it's got less samey in the last 6 months ish.
Obviously we do school run every day for the biggest two do that's always the same but then I go out and do stuff with the 2 year old.
I do find the general house upkeep completely inane and samey but I think that's just life.

YANBU I also used to call it groundhog day. I don't really have any helpful advice (sorry) because I went back to work and DP took over as a SAHD. It does end though... mine are now 18.

I only have one, but always referred to it as Groundhog Day when she was really little. It has got a bit better since she started school, as I can mix things up more when i’m by myself. Still a lot of routine on weekends and evenings, tho! Can you try and get any time for you at all, even if only once a week DH gives you a couple of hours?

In my experience as soon as you start to feel a bit like this your DC find a new way to break the monotony- starting to walk, deciding to do experiments with the contents of the kitchen cupboards & nearly setting house on fire, breaking bones while showing off at the park, becoming interested in the opposite sex....just you wait OP before long I bet you'll be all "what fresh hell is this keeping me on my toes?"

Yes. My youngest 2 are 6 and 5 now but they have gdd so it's still like having toddlers. They do go to school though. My older children are more independent and a lot more fun to do things with. It will get better.

I 100% agree. My DH works really long hours so it’s just me and a nearly 4 year old and 6 month old. Nursery helps, groups help, play dates help.

I dislike weekends as we hardly ever do anything as my DH is so tired. I am too but I don’t feel like I can complain about it.

I’m starting a new job in a few weeks and I cannot wait.

I think that the groundhog element of motherhood applies whether you are a SAHM or working. I work evenings and weekends as we can't afford childcare, and I still have that feeling. It's the endless slog of cooking and cleaning that kills me, I work in a pub so feel my whole life is just serving other people and cleaning up after them, and I have zero free time other than when DD naps, when I usually try to catch up on sleep myself. And I only have one DC to contend with.

I found working felt like Groundhog Day. As a SAHM I can at least make some choices about my day - eg driving somewhere different with the kids, having a day where we just watch films because if I'm really ill, organise playdates, go for walks, play my favourite music and get the kids to dance around with me etc.

I know it's not exactly riveting stuff but I prefer it the office job I used to have.

I had 3 your age and then a 4th what I would suggest is.

Get out every morning, walk, baby group, soft play, library anything to keep you out the house until lunch. It keeps the house neater being outdoors!
Lunch at home. Or in nice weather eat in the garden. Again less mess.
Afternoon hour of TV time then something yoh can play together like duplo or crafts.
4pm book time the Ln get their meal ready for 5pm. Slow cooker helps here if when they have breakfast you can chuck something in slow cooker.
6pm bath and stories.
7pm bed time
Then in the evnining pend an hour doing house jobs then have your evening to yourself.
You won't believe this but mine are 9, 7 and 5 and 3 now and I miss them at home like crazy. I work now which makes me more me again but I do remember the relentless days of work when dh was working long hours.

To be honest, for most people, children or not, it's like that. My son is grown up now, but I get up at 5.30 for work, cup of tea, shower, train, work, train, cook dinner, TV, bed.