Can't stop being paranoid by OH messaing other lassies...

[sparkeigh]

Caught my OH messing some lassie who hes never met, but talked to for years obviously in a sexual manner a few weeks ago and I literally can't put it out my head and cant seem to stand it when hes on his phone, I'm currently 26w+6d pregnant with his child our relationship is new but we've been seeing eachother on and off for the best part of 3 years anyway and had considered him one of my closest friends before all of this regardless.

Don't know if its just the hormones as i've been having a difficult pregnancy since around 9w and stressed out my box is an understatement

just currently sat awake most of the night and its one of those things niggling in the back of my head...any advice folks?

Lots of advice that amounts to leaving him and going it alone.

Are you prepared to do that?

Obviously the next step is he’ll meet up with her.
I hope you have a supportive family to help you out when he leaves.

Honestly no idea if im honest, Don't get me wrong I love him to bits always will regardless as hes one of my closest friends anyway but I have given him the chance to leave mutiple times since i told him I Didnt want to abort, I said i didn't want for him to feel trapped by the fact we're having a child im not a spiteful person who wouldn't allow him to see his child, or that I didnt want him to 'settle' for me but its just that niggle in the back of my head that it'll happen again later down the line and im not concerned about him hurting me I just don't want My child to be hurt hes had the fortunate experience of his parents being together since they met so doesnt realise the damage he could cause...

baring in mind this lassie lives in a different country (Germany) they've been friends online since before hes known me so I dont see the likelyhood of them meeting

Emotional infidelity

sorry OP but i don't think its healthy to say you always will love him regardless- or to say you don't care if he hurts you. You do care because you are up worrying about it and he doesn't have the right to hurt you. Why would you want to be with someone who is sexually messaging other women. The only reasons he would be doing that are that he fancies her and enjoys it, and he also obviously doesn't care about your feelings even when you are expecting his child, which makes him a dickhead.

You do not want to be sat at home surely knowing the only reason he isnt actualy cheating is that he can't, because she isn't local, that is not right and you deserve better.

You need to have a serious conversation with him asap about this, establish whether he actually sees himself as in a relationship with you or not, and what he thinks he is doing cheating with this other woman if so? You should not have to be sitting feeling upset when pregnant over his bad treatment of you. Children are very resilient and parents separating young is not the end of the world- it happens, better to do that than have them grow up thinking the way he treats you is the norm.

@sparkeigh as in he’s sexting her! or just messaging her? (but sexual in the past?) I’d be furious!

Your not concerned about him hurting you? why not?!

He either commits to you or it’s over! or you go forward as friends only.

You and your baby deserve so much better x

@sadiee88 Was sexual, and he initiated it,

@dontgobaconmyheart, its not that im not fussed about being hurt yes obviously if it happens again hes long gone but I just don't know if i can forgive him to even look past it, but im obviously wanting to try make things work for our child so just sat wracking my brain with it, like I can access his phone and things like that but I don't want to be that person who can't trust, because if i constantly go and check then that feeling will never actually go away

He should be ashamed of himself! You need to speak to him about it and go from there.

Do you want to raise a child with this as an example of a father/man?