To be totally incapable of deciding whether to TTC no. 2?!

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

I'm 32. We have DS, 18 months, who is an absolute delight. He took two years and three miscarriages so DH and I talked about cracking on quite soon for a second - we'd both agreed we wanted two - and talked about trying in the new year, i.e. now.

I change my mind several times a day about whether or not to do this, and go back and forth between the following pros and cons lists constantly:

Arguments for trying now:
We definitely want a second one day
We'd rather not have a really big age gap, and if it takes as long again this time it would already be quite big
If we TTC and it never happens I might deeply regret waiting

Arguments against:
I started a new job in September and it feels a bit soon if I did get pregnant (successfully) straight away
I'm really enjoying life with DS at the moment and I'm worried about wrecking a good thing (I'm also scared I wouldn't love a second baby like I love DS, but I know everyone worries about this and it wouldn't be the case in reality!)
I went a bit mad while TTC-ing the first time round and am scared of getting obsessed and depressed over it again
I just don't know if I feel ready, but I also don't know what feeling ready would feel like; I don't feel especially broody but, again, I am sure I want another one day. I didn't feel that broody before DS, in the classic sense - I desperately wanted a child, but have never really been a newborn person.

I am currently driving DH mad - he wants to start now, but says he is ok with waiting, but my constant vacillating keeps getting his hopes up and then dashing them.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom?! I'm getting to the point where I think I should just toss a coin!

If you definitely want DC2 and you don't want a big age gap, and your DH is on board, you've answered your own question! The rest is just over thinking :)

If you don’t want to obsess too much over the TTC again maybe come off your contraceptives and for the first year see if it happens - that’s what my cousin did as she got so stressed with scheduling sex with her cycle, keeping track of ovulation etc. that she decided for the second she would go the first year of TTC with the approach that if it happens, it happens (if that makes any sense?) with the idea that she and her DH would change approach after that first year. It worked out well for her as she wasn’t nearly as stressed about it all (still thought about it a lot of course).

Are there any other concerns other than those you have listed? In your position and providing your DH has shared the load properly with your DS I’d go for it