AIBU to live with ex-dp

[Newyearsameoldme2020]

We've been together for over a decade but the relationship just seems to have run it's course. We weren't arguing and think we can remain as friends. We have 2 dc together.
Can it work living together as friends? Has anyone here managed it successfully.

What happens when one of you moves on and finds someone new? Are you going to tell the kids you have seperated? Sounds potentially confusing for them.

I think down the line one of us will move out, we can both afford to live independently. I guess I'm just wondering if we have to rush one of us moving out or if we will be able to manage as we are for a few months, with dp in the spare room.

Unless you both agree to no dating, then it can’t work as the children will grow up with a warped view of relationships.

Is there a reason to consider it rather than splitting?

It's trying to do what's best for the children. One 6 with asd who doesn't like change and a baby aswell. But you're right I don't want them to grow up with a warped view or relationships, although i would hope neither me or dp would date until one of us moves out. I'm a bit all over the place at the minute with my thinking

Tricky one! Does he agree the relationship has run its course? I kinda feel your pain, I've just now split with ex-dp of 8 years who I work full time with! I thought we had run it's course, turns out he hadn't seen it coming. Not expecting work to be much fun tomorrow!........ Tread carefully, a clean break might seem scary, but could be better long term. & yeah confusing for kids to get the whole housemate situation. Then negotiating babysitting if 1 of you wants to go out? Good luck

I think you can manage as you are for now until one of you definitely wants to make a move. Why not? You have young children who needs stability and you aren't fighting with each other, you're friends. That's a lot more than some couples have!

See how it goes, nobody can predict the future. As long as you are both content with the status quo and your children are happy it's no one else's business.

Oh no @summer2003 did he really not see it coming
Yes I think we're both on the same page as to how the relationship is. I just thought it might be easier to transition if we live separately but in the same house for a while. And that the kids would then have us both still around and it would be better for them.
But thanks for making me see it could cause more confusion than good

Thanks @Bluerussian, part of me thinks the kids would be ok as they have seen us more or less co-habiting without really a couple for the last while. If we make it official and one of us slept in the spare room, but everything else remained the same, would it cause that much confusion?

@Newyearsameoldme2020 i'm in your situation and was wondering what path you took in the end (not sure if it's ok to resurrect an old thread or not!)

DP and I split 2 months ago and both agree there is no going back but we have 2 young DC and we are perfectly amicable and able to live together. it would certainly be easier logistically and financially to stay living together for another year or so...

@Bluerussian and @Summer2003 i'm shamelessly going to tag you too if you have any experience