Life outside of London

[Neitherherenortheir]

Crime, pollution, living costs and expenses all being reasons to wonder what life outside of London is really like. Nearly all our friends and family are here so we have huge ties. But as DC grow older I wonder about leaving. Looking for recommendations for places that aren’t too dissimilar, do not require a driving licence (DH plans to learn but I’ve no want to drive), good secondary schools without moving a million miles away. AIBU?

I love posts like this - they crop up every few weeks. London without kids - amazing - London with kids and SOME parents start to get twitchy. Expensive, crime, tight catchments, full schools, too busy, good salary but still not enough to feel comfortable/rich etc etc etc etc Where is London-Lite? Nicer but without too much of a commute...It doesn’t exist. You can’t squeeze that many people into a corner of England and not get pressure, high prices and crowds. Either deal with all the issues and enjoy living in the capital or accept that phase of your life is over and move way out. I know someone on here will tell you Harpenden/St Albans/Hitchin etc etc is great - undiscovered and the perfect compromise but the truth is people on here who live out of London’s orbit will tell you quite rightly that even these places have the same issues - just turned down 25% or so. Estate agents exist so that you can’t “discover” anywhere. The path of the 30 something exit family is well trodden and nothing new to them. All your debates and thoughts have been thought before and they’ve priced them all up. Sit tight or move 2 hours + away. We did. Never looked back. WC1 to the West Country. Oodles of space, very little pressure, lovely facilities, clean air, little crime, no aggro, less arrogance, jobs aren’t as important to people, choice of schools, beautiful beaches. Book some driving lessons and explore.

Crime, pollution, living costs and expenses all being reasons to wonder what life outside of London is really like

Its people like this that made me leave London and not want to go back. I left 3 years ago and couldnt be happier with my choice.

However, it sounds like you want big city life without big city problems. That just doesnt exist. I lived in Birmingham for a while (loved it), but the same problems exist.

Reading, bath, bristol, cambridge

Don't come to the NW. We have no transport, no culture, no beautiful countryside, no interesting towns and cities, no good restaurants, no good schools and no affordable housing. Stay away!

Seriously, I am in and out of London all the time for work and whilst I enjoy visiting I would never in a million years want to live there. A good mate of mine who is London born and bred, relocated to Manchester a few years ago. She says she'd never go back as Manchester is like all the best bits of London without the shit stuff.

I wonder if some people can even read. At no point has the OP said ‘Is there such a thing as life outside of London?’ or similar. She’s asking for advice about that exact thing

It’s a big distance if your family are in London, but I would love to live in Jesmond in Newcastle. Lovely houses, walk to the City Centre, walk the other way to a huge wooded park, Jesmond Dene, the Metro to coast or town.

Am I missing something?
The OP is getting a really hard time for a totally inoffensive post.
A fair proportion of her post is regarding public transport, which is woefully inadequate in large parts of the country, and I doubt it will improve any time soon.
Give her a break

She never asked if there's life outside London. No need for all the unpleasantness, learn to read properly.

I grew up outside London and have lived in various places but since that last election result I don't want to live anywhere else. Londoners VOTED to be taxed more to spread out the wealth, did you notice?

Well so did Bristol Plantsitter. You sound a bit London-smug.

Look OP, I lived in London in my early 20's. It was great, mostly. Although I was pretty poor so it was a constant struggle.
Something strange happened to me after about 4 years. Although I grew up in Wales, went to uni in Bristol, I begin to realise that even I started to whole-heartedly believe that I couldnt live outside London. People would explain surprise and ask if I'd miss the galleries and bars. How would I go to the theatre? Would I ever go to a gif again? I would I get around? I honestly ran these thoughts through my head.

It wasn't until I went on an extended stay with a friend back to Bristol that I made my move. I've never looked back.

I have now gave 2 teenagers, a 4 bedroom house, a drive, a garage, and huge garden with out-buildings, a dog. A short bus ride (bus stop at the end of the road) or drive to the city centre. Country walks start literally minutes from my front door. The only thing I miss is being able to get a Latte on my walk home. However it was a different life.

Bristol, Bath, Wells....(as you can see I love the West Country). I also have spent lots of time in Edinburgh too (so echo a PP's post). I gave friends in Harpendon - it seems nice but high pressured with competition for school places and general mc worries.

Well so did Bristol Plantsitter. You sound a bit London-smug.

Yes but I was referring to the complaints about London getting all the money. And the smugness- I can see it sounds like it- is in response to the immediate London bashing that happens on a perfectly innocuous thread.

I just don't understand why people post things like... ‘to wonder what life outside of London is really like’. I do understand why it invites ridicule!

I wonder, would the OP have been ‘inviting ridicule’ had she posted about how she’d lived all her life in a rural village or small market town, but was now considering a move to the city and was nervous about certain aspects of city life? Would there have been sneering comments along the lines of ‘Surely you’ve at least heard of a world outside of Ludlow?’ Or would she have actually received sensible advice?

Not sure why you are being given a hard time @Neitherherenortheir

It's a big question as once you are out it's very hard to move back for financial reasons. I go back and forth about big city vs. more commuter town vs. far enough away you can't commute. I've lived in all and moved many times.

I'd recommend staying away from expensive commuter towns as I think they are bit almost London prices without the benefits of London. If I was choosing today my list would include Exeter, Bournemouth, Poole, Winchester, Chichester, Leeds (if I wanted big city, but probably I'd choose a part of the city that's less city centre and more working professionals with good links). Two lots of friends really love Rugby since leaving London. Another loves Margate. Midwife friends have moved to Brighton, Hove and Chicester. None have looked back, all very happy and dc are in good secondary schools.

How are your dragon slaying skills OP?

Don’t come too far north, it can be scary for those who aren’t used to it.

Haha

Outside of London = Black and White TV's. Have to get a Tractor to work. No running water, have to go to the local stream to get it

In all seriousness, maybe look at commuter towns and cities within a 30 minute train journey from central London. Within Herts, Beds, Bucks, Essex, Surrey, Kent etc etc.

No idea why all the snarky responses. The OP's post was perfectly reasonable and polite.

OP, I lived in WC1 and now live in a Bucks commuter town. We're now looking to relocate for schooling and other reasons (honestly probably just including boredom!).

What's your budget, what sort of lifestyle do you want and what do you do for work?

Honestly, genuinely do not understand the love of London at all.

Worked there for 4 years and hated every single minute. Dirty. Depressing. Expensive. Miserable people everywhere and just generally downtrodden. Having to have a wash just because you had been on the tube was a particular highlight of my working day!

If you love that, just stay there. You won't love the North.

StillCoughing

My comment: I just don't understand why people post things like...to wonder what life outside of London is really like. I do understand why it invites ridicule!

If the OP wants information about a certain city or area, fine, no wanky comments, just advice. 'What is life outside London really like'? Daft. There isn't just London and 'Outside London'!

There are museums, wildlife parks, forests, country walks, neighbours you actually talk to, community events, theatre.
I do and have all these in and from London Zone 2

the moronic ‘London is shit, dirty and expensive and I know because I went on a day trip in 1998’ brigade are trotting out the insults - with apparently no sense of irony when they call the OP ‘insular’ or ‘blinkered’, yet are happy to present their opinion on a city of eight million people as fact.

This all day long.

So you’ve never left London??

I've been in London 10 years & it's very different to the leafy large rural town I'm from. I'd say back home people seem more relaxed & not in such a hurry. People chat to you at the supermarket till or bus stop etc. I found it easier to make friends there. The few times I tried here I got outright suspicion & was rebuffed , even after knowing them a month or so, so they knew I wasn't a mad axe murderer! Where I'm from has easy links to London so house prices are on a par, but I'd go back tomorrow if I could (not much work sadly so I'm upskilling & retraining with that goal in mind). It's much safer too, v low crime rate.

Why the super defensive comments from @cryingoverspilttea and others? The OP didn't ask if there was life outside a London- she asked what life outside London is like for a family with teenagers. A perfectly reasonable question.

Have all those sneering at the OP had vast experience of family life living in London as well as in a range of cities, towns and villages? I suspect not.

All those seizing the opportunity to London bash, you're simply demonstrating a lack of open-mindedness. The OP didn't ask your opinions of London.

OP I've lived in a "rural market town" and in London. It is horses for courses and depends on your own preferences. Here's my personal experience:

Pros of market town life vs London:
Less crowded
Less crime
Can afford larger property
Higher chance of owning a garden
Higher chance of making friends with neighbours
More peaceful lifestyle
Access to rural countryside
Fresher air quality

Cons of market town life vs London:
More homogeneous culture & political views
Not ethnically diverse
Less range of food / restaurant options
Less free stuff to do / museums etc
Public transport crap
Teenagers more likely to need driving round otherwise they get bored
More evident racism / bigotry
Car usually needed to get to most activities / work

So you’ve never left London??

Again, where does the OP say this? She’s asking about LIVING outside of London - she’s not saying she’s literally never even been on holiday or a day trip.

Don’t do it unless you’re really really bloody sure. We moved from London to Bristol 10 years ago (due to DH job). Bristol is great and we’ve made a good life for ourselves here, but it’ll never be my home. We’re priced out of London now and it’s all DS knows so while it’s not my home, it is his. We’ll stay but not a day goes by that I don’t miss London.

Public transport is limited in many parts of the country, indeed the only places with good public transport I have come across are Glasgow, Edinburgh, parts of Manchester and Brighton. Though if you can live with walking to most things it would not be an issue.

Amen @IntermittentParps

And WHAT a username

PaulH, thank you! I can't take credit: it's from Popbitch (well, via Channel 5, I guess): popbitch.com/emails/bestial-snorts-and-intermittent-parps