To ask how you knew your DP was interested in you?

[balletpanda]

I've been single for a while now and feel slowly like it would be nice to start dating someone again.

Except I've been out of the loop for years and it's all a big mystery to me.

AIBU to ask how you knew your DP was interested and who made the first move? If it was through work did you get to know each other a little before you went on a date or was it quick and happened almost immediately after you met? Every relationship I've ever had began when drunk at university and things have moved on since then. I have a few friends who swear by online dating apps but there's a nice man at work who I definitely would be interested in before trying those.

Thanks in advance

Local pub, kept asking me on dates and I was too nervous to say yes. Then his mate told me he really liked me but was wondering if the continued effort was worth it. I realised I didn't want to loose the chance so took it when we next saw each other. 7 years ago now, married 4 years, 1 dc. So glad i went to that pub so much... It was worth failing my a levels for (although I won't mention that to dc!)

When our eyes first met. Dramatic, but felt like I had been ‘struck’ by something. It was a mutual, instant connection.

We were mates at work but looking back he did seem to quite like me. Once just me and him went to the pub at his insistence and I spent the whole time outrageously flirting with the guy I was having the occasional drunken snog with and left him by himself - I cringe when I look back.

I never thought of him in that way because he really really wasn't my type but we got quite drunk at the Christmas party and he walked me back to the Tube and pulled me into an alley for a really rather remarkable snog.

We then became kinda fwb but it just gently and slowly evolved as we evolved - I was only 21 and in my first post university job so didn't want a big relationship and neither did he but the underlying connection was there.

We do bicker a lot because we really are different but we never really fight and touch wood we've had no serious issues in the last 20 years as our morals and outlook in the big stuff are the same. Plus he's a great shag and he makes me laugh like a drain

Similar to @fairyfingers really! Met at work and always very friendly with each other. I did really like him but he was shy, and his colleague was very forward in pursuing me. A lot of going to the pub as a group from work, flirting and really liking him - but ultimately leaving with his colleague. I feel very bad looking back.

Anyway, realised eventually his colleague was dickhead who always messed me around and dumped him. Kept going to the pub after work as a group, always flirting with DH. I began to develop a massive crush on him but was worried about how it would look going from one guy in his department to another. Then I left for a new job and DH wrote the most insanely awesome message in my leaving card. I kind of knew then that it was in the bag 🥰🤣

We went on a date to the Tate Modern and it was just like...instant love. From the moment we had the privacy and space to just spend time together, I was crazy in love. And it was very clear he felt the same. As others have said, no games, no messing around, just making it very, very clear his feelings for me. That was nearly fourteen years ago. We’re married with three young DC and our connection is as strong as it was when we were 25. We’ve had our problems and it’s not always plain sailing but he is absolutely and completely the love of my life - after many, many average relationships. We’re just meant to be together and we still sometimes chat about how if I hadn’t moved to London or he hadn’t got that job...we’d never have met. I don’t think I actually believe in fate but the love and connection between us is so strong, and so unlike any other relationship I’d had before, it does kind of feel a little like it was meant to be

Internet date.

At end of date 1 he suggested another date at a concert which was v niche and several hours long and frankly a stupid suggestion for a date

I knew he was interested because he was so excited about the idea of me going to this concert.

He knew I was interested because I was prepared to go

We met in a pub that he worked in. He declared that I was 'going home with him' a touch presumptuous yes but he was right . I knew he 'liked me liked me' when he called me the minute he got back from his holiday, we'd known each other maybe a fortnight at that point. We moved in after a couple of months, engaged after 6, married after 2 years and celebrated 15 years together late last year.

A grumpy old bugger he may be but he's my grumpy old bugger.

Ah these are adorable, how very unmumsnetty thank you though, your stories have made me smile and made me hopeful for the future

He was my friend’s boyfriend’s friend at uni. We met at the students union and got on well but I didn’t fancy him. Kept bumping in to each other (engineered by friend’s boyfriend). Heard through the grapevine he wanted to go out with me. He looked after me when I drank too much at the end of term so figured he was worth a try. That was in 1992. He has always treated me with respect and never played games. He has always been clear on his feelings for me.

He liked my tweets. I liked his tweets. I spent quite a while determining if he was straight and single. He apparently did the same. Then he slid into my DMs and I suggested we go for a drink and talk in more than 140 characters at a time. We then had the best first date ever and knew it was going to be something big.

He took his jeans off in a coffee shop three minutes into our first date.

Alright, it was because I was asking about the tattoo he'd just had done, but still.

He got drunk and messaged my colleague/ friend on Facebook asking for my number 😂 I knew him, but never considered him like ‘that’. We got on but I didn’t think I fancied him. I was with someone else at the time but it was going south... when it finally ended I got in touch. I fancy him now.

Drew a picture of me and signed it "lots of love"

I made the first move when I saw him in a pub. We exchanged numbers and texted every day. He would text me at 1am when he was at home in bed (a weeknight so I knew he hadn’t been out getting pissed cos he only used to do that at weekends) so that’s how I knew he really liked me. After being messed around by so many guys it was refreshing to meet someone who was interested in me and didn’t play mind games

When he messaged me straight after our first date to sort out our second date and when I got snowed in and couldn't travel safely to get to put third date he replied as long as you are safe I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you totally had me then

When he offered to chauffeur me around everywhere because my car broke down! He would text first thing every morning to see how I was. And would help with my horse so I didn’t have to do too much heavy lifting 😍 He still does it now! 😍😍🙂

He asked me to marry him.

These are all making me super happy. From someone happily single, it's nice to see there's still romance out there.

Met through work, I didn’t really like him at first. All changed one night at a work party, he asked me out when we was both drunk and been stuck with each other since, wouldn’t have it any other way though.

We met in person and I thought he was hot, I wasn't sure if he liked me as he appeared to but I cannot read the signs. He gave me his number for a job to do so I started messaging him the next day (continuing conversations we'd had in person, nothing to do with the job). We talked online non stop for a week and the flirting ramped up a bit. He was worse than me at reading the signs. A week later he asked outright why I had messaged him so I told him I liked him, he said the feeling was mutual (and I still genuinely wasn't sure by that point) and we've been together ever since. He never messes me around and makes it very clear that he adores me. He's one of the good ones and it's just amazing. I still can't believe my luck sometimes.

We met at work through a course. Chatted at work a lot after, got talking about films we like and think I mentioned a film I wanted to see that none of my friends wanted to watch. He said he would go with me. We did start off slow as he had just broken up with his ex because she cheated on him and he was getting over it, but for about a month I just enjoyed his friendship anyway. Wasn't looking for a relationship at first or at all really.

Messaged me first most of the time

Turned up to help fix my car even though I told him I'd already done it

Turned up on my doorstep with wine and pizza and still wanted me when I had no makeup on, pjs and bird nest hair

Compared me to a goddess

Six years later it's the same list by the way.

He wasn't!
He was interested in my mate. And I was interested in his mate. We only talked to each other to get the goss on the person we were actually interested in.
That was 36 yrs ago. I don't think either of us know quite how we ended up here.