A couple of years ago I decided to change my 12-year-old mum-mobile seven-seater, which had served me well but was beginning to feel as if it was reaching the end of its life. I didn't want the clutch or suspension going when I was out with children or elderly rellies. My DH decided to take on my old car for a few months while he looked for a small van for his new business. Month after month he'd go and see vans and go for test drives but could never decide on one, or whether he wanted used or new, or how to buy it – lease or cash or whatever. Too many variables and he is terrified of making a wrong decision. We must have spent hundreds of hours with him boring me to tears with his endless 'Should I do this or should I do that?' rambling. These aren't conversations, he doesn't listen to advice.
Anyway, on Thursday the clutch on the old car, which had been playing up for weeks, finally went on a busy roundabout. He didn't have breakdown cover for the car ('I'm getting rid of it any day now, no point in wasting money...') so he called me to sort out a breakdown truck and transportation home.
I told him to go and buy a van, any van, or at least rent one, yesterday and he borrowed my car to go off and do that. Except he didn't. Too many choices, doesn't know what to do for the best, in a panic. All stupid as we have enough money to just buy a newish van outright without even thinking about it. This morning he was supposed to go and just do it, but instead he's spent the last few hours talking to his brothers and friends about what they'd recommend – and of course, one swears by Fords and the others hate Fords and so on and so on, till apparently there isn't a single van manufacturer in the world he can trust.
Now he's announced that he needs a vehicle for the full day on Monday and Tuesday and so he'll need to use my car (for which he's insured). It's true that I can get to work fairly easily on public transport or by asking for a lift from a neighbour who works in the same company as me – but why the hell should I do this? He's an adult. He earns as much as me and he has no money worries. I found myself shouting at him that I'm not his mum and he's an adult and needs to stand on his own two feet.
Most of the time he's okay, it's just these occasional big decisions where there are endless options that seem to drive him over the edge. Please don't suggest that I go out and buy a van for him because if I do and there are problems he'll just go on and on about how I shouldn't have bought a Ford or a Citroen or a Vauxhall or whatever.