Daughter is petrified of needing a poo!

[Minnierae2018]

Up until recently my daughter has been very regular and never had an issue needing to poo.

Now, she is trying to hold it is as if she is scared to pass it. She's 26 months and still in nappies. Because she's holding it in, she's has a bit of nappy rash which is making everything 10x worse. I have no idea where this has come from and why it's started. As soon as she feels something coming on she gets really upset and needs me to cuddle her. I reassure her and tell her it's okay. We've been prescribed lacterous, which is making it soft but it's a psychological problem. Why is she scared and what can I do?!

TIA x

It's actually fairly common. Have you tried the 'Poo goes to Pooland' book and app?

My children loved poo goes to Pooland app.

I went through this with my eldest years ago. Is she actually constipated making it painful when it comes out? The best advice I had from a German friend whose mum's a chemist was to get glycerine suppositories. Basically they lubricate the passage out. Sounds a bit weird but very effective. Chemists sell them over the counter, but no one seems to recommend them over here for some reason.

We also had a couple of story books about how it's good to poo and all that, never saw an app but that sounds good. This is a really common problem so there's quite a lot of support for it. I hope you find something that works for her.

It’s called withholding and it’s very common in children who suffer from constipation.

There’s a charity called Eric who are brilliant with children’s poo issues and have some helpful ideas, or a group called Movicol Mummies on FB who are super helpful - I wish I’d known about them years ago.

Good luck.

It's actually fairly common. Have you tried the 'Poo goes to Pooland' book and app?

Yes, this really helped DD at around the same age also The Poop Song

My dd has this. Would hold on for days. Lots of fibre and prune juice was our method. My HV kept saying "she won't be doing this when she starts school" and she was right.

Thanks so much for some great advice here! We've already downloaded the pooland app which is proving popular x

The same thing happened to my DD. She was a bit older as I kept waiting for her to ‘be ready’ for potty training but she didn’t ever really show the signs herself. Once we got her on the potty she refused to poo and just held onto it for days and days (or so it felt). We gave lactulose and lots of reassurance. One day she just sat on the toilet and did a poo and we did lots of clapping and dancing. For the next 6 months so wanted applause everytime she did a poo! Hang in there and just keep reassuring her.

www.eric.org.uk
Some useful resources here, OP.

Just want to add my weight to the ERIC website recommendation.

It helped me deal with my poo withholding 4yr old.

Patience patience and more patience! (This did not come easily for me!)

I had to cut a progressively bigger hole in a nappy everyday in the summer holidays before he started school

It could be some (any) trauma she had, and causing a physiological blockage.
I had it with my DD from age 3-3.5yrs, keeping her self back, which caused her to be constipated (tried laxtives too) then when she did make it (once a week)it hurt, and was a viscous circle...

What helped me was: I went to a local woman who does Dowsing and other body tests and she checked what her body needs, removal of bad energy etc and also gave some Bach Remedies and other mix of Tinctures. I saw great results and she totally relaxed and started passing normal stools that week and by 2 weeks time it was long gone history. I dont know if you believe in these type of natural healing, but I can only say I've been numerous times for all sorts of issues with a few kids and myself and only saw good results!

She’s scared because of the nappy rash! Even if it’s gone it can cause stress for the poor things. I don’t have any advice but hope it gets sorted asap x

Reading with interest as we have the same with 17 month old DGD. She screams and goes rigid. You think you might be getting somewhere and then today she is bleeding.

Same with my son from about 18 months (he is now 5). He could stand in the corner of his playroom sweating and grimacing as he tried to stop the poo from coming out. Obviously the longer he held it, the drier and harder the poo became. Meaning of course it hurt much more when it eventually did come out; and then we would start all over again with even more fear. He could hold it for up to 5 days with me becoming a bigger and bigger wreck about it. Fibre and usual home remedies didn’t touch the problem.

He also has never been much into drinking water so dehydration would have exacerbated the problem. Dehydration is the main culprit with constipation, not fibre intake.

We had immediate success with Movicol - paediatrician put him on a fairly high dose at first. This meant his poo was soft and moist enough (UGH), and he was totally unable to withhold. It was coming out whether he liked it or not. Very soon (Within weeks) he stopped worrying about it hurting and began to relax about his poos. We stayed on a low dose of Movicol for a long time - maybe two years? Which the paediatrician had no concerns about.

Having said nearly four years later he still only goes every two days, we still need to make sure he drinks enough, and he absolutely WAS still mildly constipated when he started school age 4. He absolutely adores school but he would never ever do a poo there (fairly normal amongst his friends), and we still have to take Movicol on holiday with us as travel seems to set him back a bit.

Anyway, maybe this will help. OP the fear you describe is a sad memory for me too, and when it went away with the Movicol, it was the most unbelievable relief to both him and me! Wishing you luck with your DD.

I will tell you what happened with my son, he had chronic poo withholding from age 1-3. Started after a large poo which hurt him. Eventually, we put him on laxitives, movicol just half a sachet a day. This kept his poo forms but very easy to get out. After a few weeks of realising it wasn’t hurting, we then told him he could still poo in his nappy but in the bathroom only. We
Put his pull ups in a basket next to the toilet so he could go in, put it on, and do it and then we’d help him clean up etc. Then one day we left the basket empty, we asked him to try the poo on the toilet, and he agreed. Literally never looked back!

@Minnierae2018 who is Tia x ?

@Raspberrytruffle it means thanks in advance. What's with the face?

@ESEMEF63 I found your post very interesting because when mine went through poo withholding (nothing from the doctors worked). It carried on for years until we tried reiki (with a crystal) to get rid of negative energy (I was desperate and wanted to try anything) and it instantly worked. Within 2 days she went to the toilet independently (that she previously was too scared to sit on) and pooed by herself! A lot to be said for holistic methods, fantastic. I asked her how she felt, she said, " good, the fears gone now".

It's very common but can turn into a real issue if you don't resolve it. My friend's DD once held on for 3 and a half weeks and ended up in hospital, he was still struggling with this when he was 6 years old (usually this doesn't happen he was an extreme case). Lots of fibre and exercise, try the books mentioned above. If it doesn't work I would go onto Movicol to make sure it doesn't turn into a chronic problem.