To ask for ocd recovery stories

[marmite92]

I've posted on mental health but putting it here for traffic- I've had ocd for years now and it's getting worse. It's not cleaning or tidying or anything, it's obsessive and intrusive thoughts ranging from health stuff to instructive thoughts of doing inappropriate things when I'm with people or worrying about hurting them, I feel so embarrassed admitting it as I've never told anyone those thoughts before. This is followed by hours of googling to reassure myself, sometimes I can't even get work done because I need to google whatever it is I'm worried about first which turns into a couple hours.

I've got a lot of stress in my life at the moment as my mum is terminally ill and I've not long broken up from a serious relationship who I was living with. I keep this hidden apart from a very close friend who knows, and I am in a successful professional relationship but I wish I could feel 'normal', I'm only in my late 20s. Does anyone have positive stories of how they've beaten this or at least had periods where they aren't obsessively worrying?

Yes going to try and properly get into mindfulness and just keep at it as I read it can rewire your neural pathways which sounds like something I need to do!

Seconding the recommendation for ACT - there an excellent book which is ACT/CBT based called overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 , I think it would be good for you to look at as it will help you deal with the ocd as a whole, rather than specific obsessions as these chop and change. Also refer yourself to your local psychological services, the names vary place to place. Further talking therapy may be helpful alongside anything you do on your own. Happy to PM a bit if you want to. OCD is a horrible thing to live with but it definitely can get better. Unfortunately it can tend to flare up with stress, but there is hope xx

I've been suffering for 10 years. It's utterly draining.

I'm currently on my third lot of therapy.

I had therapy 8 years ago which was of a good caliber. My symptoms eased when I was pregnant and had DT - think it was just such a distraction or hormone change.

In the last few years it's been really bad. I self referred through the NHS but the treatment was v surface level. Recently I went through my private medical and am currently receiving schema therapy (a CBT technique) with a clinical psychologist. It's a very thorough treatment and I'm lucky to be able to access it.

I'm not very good at doing the things that help. It's just not an auto response for me. Every Monday I wake thinking I'll try the mindfulness or the breathing. Threads like this are a great comfort. The schema therapy focuses on childhood experiences where care was slightly lacking which amplifies worries or misaligns them in your life now. This is also of comfort.

It's very very hard and draining. I've never been on meds because I'm scared of side effects or dependency.

My experiences have ranged from obsessively locking and ensuring things are off to health anxiety. I've had the AIDS obsession. Lately it's contamination.

Don't be shy in asking for help. Try a mindfulness app too. Do all the things that are supposed to help - take a new hobby, exercise, eat well etc. Good luck xxx

Thank you PP's for your links & anecdotes, you have inspired me to learn more about the various forms of CBT, very helpful to know especially about schema therapy focuses on childhood experiences where care was slightly lacking which amplifies worries or misaligns them in your life now - thanks Sipsmith.

Marmite, I've seen your update now about your marriage & subsequent separation. And now a new job & new town, these are all major events that cause everyone some amount of anxiety.
All of this while worrying about & then grieving for your mum ... despite all that, you had the smarts & courage to recognise your relationship for what it was, & get out before your ex could cause significant damage to your mind & self-esteem.
Frankly - that is awesome self-control & bullet-dodging, & I doff my cap to you - here's to you finding the specific toolkit that works for you, & ever-increasing peace of mind

My ocd sounds similar to yours - cbt helped a great deal.
Also don’t be afraid of ssris, sometimes we need an extra boost. You’d take medication for a physical illness, right?

I’m 90% recovered, some weeks close to 100%. My brain will always tend towards interpreting the world in an anxious way, that’s just how I’m wired, but I now know how to challenge those thoughts. The anti depressants really help with the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Thanks everyone, I'm going to ring up this week about cbt as it's self referral here and hopefully that will help but I won't close myself off to medication or other therapies, whatever works is worth it.

@messolini9 thanks so much for saying that, so lovely. I do need to remember to be kind to myself as I've had so much on, trying to be better at that. I've beaten myself up so much but I'm slowly recognising that it was the right thing and I've opened myself up for new opportunities.

Good luck to everyone else going through this, irs so tough xx

I had very bad postnatal OCD that centred on intrusive thoughts. Antidepressants helped a bit. I did a group OCD management course through the NHS, which helped a little, and then went on to have Exposure-Response Therapy through the NHS. It was amazing. It 90% cured me. I am mostly free of intrusive thoughts now (unless I’m particularly tired and stressed). Please ask about ERP. It’s a form of CBT specifically for OCD.

Haven't RTFT through fear that I'll wind myself up even more.
Things arent easy at the moment, but it is possible to have periods of feeling ok.
I had a few months where I actually felt normal last year. Or already what I assume it to feel like!
I was even sort of happy.
Do try group CBT. Its amazing. It helped me to realise the things I was worried about a lot of the time were "normal" concerns for others with OCD and could see that others didnt need to worry about certain things so maybe I didnt need to. It had a way of really putting some things into perspective.
Also, certain fears will ease over time with situations changing
Wishing you the best. I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone.

It’s absolute torment, a torturous condition. Mine developed postnatally (getting on for 20 years ago) - intrusive thoughts, magical thinking, lots of rituals & routines. I’m 80% okay now ... I don’t think it will ever go away completely but I mostly function.

SSRIs, lots of CBT & exposure therapy (I found both very hard & had several failed attempts), pretty much giving up alcohol, propranolol for panic, lots of exercise (both distraction & physical exhaustion help), prioritising sleep (I would go for days without sleep because if slept bad stuff would happen), care with triggers - I try not to avoid completely because that makes the anxiety more powerful but it’s very hard. Reducing reassurance seeking behaviour/activities ... again hard but effective at making the beliefs less strong.

I’m not cured - even writing this post has brought up a wave of anxiety that threatens to turn into panic ... I know why though - I’m vulnerable today because I had a day of medical stuff yesterday (massive trigger), slept very badly & had a G&T before bed. I’ll try and let the sensation pass without allowing my brain to attach it to a thought.

Also anxiety is contagious & for me ‘reaching out’ was a form of reassurance seeking behaviour so not doing that - avoiding MH support threads, anxiety support groups etc - was important. So I generally don’t talk about it with anyone except my drs & my dh/mum when completely necessary ... that helps but can feel isolating too.

My grandmother had very severe OCD & there are lots of anxiety disorders within my wider family - I think there’s a genetic component (helps me reduce self loathing anyway!). I hope to god my children don’t inherit it.

I have read about ERP and I think that could help me actually as it's the googling that makes things so much for worse for me, so I understand that it's about resisting compulsions but I find that hard on my own. Reassurance seeking is also something I do a lot so I'm hoping cbt would help with that. It's such a debilitating illness x

OCD has been linked to strep. See if you can get a round of antibiotics.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5780272/

Good luck. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you.

Hi there, I have suffered with ocd since I was little but it became much worse during my first pregnancy and was then heavily tied in with my postnatal depression. Cbt and counselling helped, but truly the lifesaver (and I mean that quite literally) for me was being put on a high dose of Clomipramine. The side effects were horrible but still 100x better than the untreated ocd. 4 years on and I’m now off them but I strongly feel they helped me to overcome the most damaging of my intrusive thoughts when I needed them to. Nowadays my ocd is much more controlled because my depression is also being controlled with a low dose of antidepressants. All the best to you x