Absolute nightmare housemate

[PawsAndReflection]

So I'm living with five others temporarily while I settle into a new job in a new city. It's 4 men and 1 other woman, the guys are all super nice but the woman (I'll call her A) is one of the most highly strung people I've ever met. She's passive aggressive, rude and very very sensitive. We're lucky that everyone who lives here is neat and considerate but naturally sometimes someone leaves a plate out for a couple of hours before washing up, or doesn't empty the bin the minute it's full. I'd say overall chores are shared equally (if anyone me and one of the men do a bit more) and we're lucky enough to have a weekly cleaner so it never gets that bad.

For a while we've all put up with the occasional tantrum from her, she's a bit younger and I think has quite an odd family (very demanding and entitled) and when she's happy she's good fun to live with. However last night she came in after a few drinks and absolutely lost it at the fact one of our housemates had left three boxes in a shared area. Because he moves out TOMORROW. We have a lot of space and it wasn't even close to being in the way.

He handled it pretty well but she was screaming at him for a good 30 minutes and ended up calling him a cunt and storming off. She's since been texting me and clearly thinks she's totally in the right but I feel like something has finally snapped in me. I don't want to get involved but feel she's already involved us all by being such a nightmare to live with. Am I being a pushover or is it best to keep the peace?

Call a house meeting and all agree to some ground rules on clutter, tidying up, emptying the bin, etc. It sounds like she needs to relax a bit about it all and having some clear agreements on what is acceptable might help with that.

I would make the landlord aware, he is going to lose tenants if this carries on.
It is not her house, totally unreasonable behaviour.

I'd keep out if it. Keep boundaries and keep myself as distant as possible from this woman.
For a start I'd not texting/replying to her messages. It will end up getting you dragged into disputes and people like her can't be really trusted.
The guy has escaped unscathed. Don't be dragged into her dramas.

I’d tell her upfront that her behaviour is completely unreasonable and she needs to apologise and to stop trying to justify her behaviour by getting you on her side as thats 💯 isn’t going to happen

The landlord won’t lose tenants future tenants won’t know what she’s like until they move in, at that point they’ll be stuck in a contract where they’re liable for the rent of the full contract length, so it won’t be simple for them to just up & leave. The landlord won’t care.

@PawsAndReflection she needs to get her own place. ASAP

Alcohol was a contributing factor of her outburst. Distance yourself from her, she can’t handle her drink.

She’s trying to get you onside because she knows she's in the wrong and is probably embarrassed thinking about her drunken outburst, but instead of apologising she’s trying to justify the box problem so she saves face/feels vindicated etc.

Realistically even if the boxes were in the way, they were only there temporarily and midnight (or whenever) isn’t the time to address this. It also doesn’t justify a 30 minute outburst and name calling etc.

If you’re there temporarily, when do you leave?

She sounds like a twat.

She sounds nice ....

You all need to write some ground rules...;

We share tidying up/cleaning etc...
We pay our bills on time...
We tolerate minor lapses...
We are helpful to others...
We like getting on well together
Shouting at others is wrong. Etc

Like an infants school... This is the age she appears to operate at...

I lived with someone like this at uni, she was a nightmare. She acted like the shared house was hers. Used to throw a wobbler if I’d left the washing up liquid out next to the sink instead of in the cupboard. . Would randomly decide she wasn’t going to talk to certain people. I moved out.

If you're only living there temporarily, I wouldn't kick up a stink.

She's not going to suddenly realise she's unreasonable, I'd imagine there's more going on there and she's unhappy in a way that would take more than a list of house rules to sort out.

I'd be civil and polite until you get somewhere else.

Sympathies tho, I had a similar housemate for a while. She used to label everything with her name, even toilet cleaner for the shared toilet?!

Why not just call her out on it? Surely that’s better than just complaining about it on the internet?

I'll call her A

And yet you managed to post the entire thing without requiring to call her that again and we still magically understood. Almost as if giving her an initial was unnecessary. Imagine that!.