AIBU to think this isn't sustainable? Co-sleeping 3 month old feeding constantly through the night, phsse help!

[Secretlifeofme]

My 3 month old used to be a great sleeper, sleeping in chunks of up to 6 hours a night before waking for a feed. From her POV she is still a great sleeper as she still only wakes up once a night at about 4.30am, but she feeds in her sleep CONSTANTLY. At least every hour and often more. She's been doing it for about a week now, not every single night but most nights and is driving me demented with lack of sleep! What can I do? Presumably if I try to stop co-sleeping it will only be worse because she will wake up crying if she can't find the boob . Could I try a dummy? Please help, I'm desperate. 3am here and I've had about an hour and a half's sleep so far

I am also a bit concerned about the quality of her sleep. If she's feeding so much, she can't be in deep sleep and this can't be good for her :(

Definitely try a dummy and persevere with it, it's a skill holding a dummy in so give her few days to get used to it. I usually hold it in place (very gently!) for 10 seconds or so and then she manages to keep it in for a bit. Sleep deprivation is the worst

My nearly 8 year old still doesn’t sleep through (& we still co-sleep). I don’t think 3 months olds are designed to sleep through yet.

Thanks for replying @Seaandsand83. Maybe I'll try a dummy tomorrow night. I'm just baffled as to why she's doing it suddenly

My 14 month old is still like this some nights. It’s pretty normal for a 3 month old not to sleep through yet.

@emma6776 I don't expect her to sleep through, just not to wake me every hour

Try a dummy and see what happens. If it helps see if you can stop co-sleeping - she will wake up and need feeding but she might learn to feed in chunks of time not constantly.

She could be going through a growth spurt - so it may get better again soon.

Both my bf children at 3 months old slept separately but woke at least twice between midnight and 6am for full feeds. I would be concerned that your baby is neither getting quality sleep nor decent feeds overnight.

Must you cosleep?

Could be 4 month sleep regression a bit early. Give the dummy a go but be prepared to be replacing it all night.

My 4 month old also used to sleep for 5-6 hours but since Xmas has been waking every 2 hours and I now am grateful when it's 3 hours. I put the baby back in the crib after every feed though as I can't sleep with the baby in the bed. Could it be she's feeding so often because she smells your milk?

Sometimes my 22 month old still wakes me hourly (too hot, too cold, wants a cuddle, wants water, thinks it's morning, wants a bath... The list is endless).

What your describing sounds pretty normal to me, all I can suggest is wearing something so she can't access your boobs freely. I think I used to wear a vest top and a bf t-shirt at night. Easy enough to access for feeds, but not so easy that I became a buffet.

Personally, I would look at putting her in a cot rather than a dummy. When she wakes you can give her a good feed and even feed her to sleep. It doesn't mean you can't ever co-sleep but you're creating a boob dependence at the moment which will make it hard for you both.

My now 2 year old was exactly like this, we co-slept (still do) and his sleep/feeding habits do change every so often. At 3 months old I would just let it play out and see if it returns to normal, in my experience they're looking for extra feeds for a reason, be it illness, teething, growth spurt etc.

I don't really have any advice because every baby is different.

All I would say is, a baby's sleep can go to shit seemingly randomly, so don't despair that it will always be like this.

Is she actually feeding or just using your nipple as a dummy? Sounds like she is comfort sucking. As pp - a dummy might help.

I would say keep boobing and keep cosleeping. She is probably going through a development leap or growth spurt. 3 months is so so tiny - she isn't 'using you as a dummy' dummys were invented as replacement breasts, not the other way round!!

She'll settle back to normal soon and you're right cosleeping will probably help you get the most sleep too! It's completely natural and can be best for both mama and baby.

My 14 month old has been through phases like this and then is out the other side of it. We coslept until she was 7 months then transitioned to cot when she was ready and she now sleeps well. I'm still feeding her and never sleep trained. If she's ill/growth spurt etc I'll bring her back in with me for a few nights but it always goes back to normal soon.

Get as much support as you can to sleep in the day, have lie ins etc if possible.

Completely normal OP. There's a fab group on Facebook called 'Biologically Normal Infant Sleep'

I personally would keep up with the co-sleeping as you'll all get more rest in the long run even though it feels like a killer now. She'll be able to help herself soon and go longer between feeds so won't be up so much. So much easier (having done both!) to just feed the baby lying down in bed than having to sit up, get baby out the cot etc. You're barely even awake and back to sleep so much quicker.

Also sleep cycles at this age are 45mins and she's still learning to join them up. Remember, it's just a phase!

Try a sleeping bra plus top so that she can’t latch on in her sleep.

My son did this at 4 months, I think it was to do with his teeth moving around in his gums, the milk has painkiller in it. For a month he would only sleep latched on and I slept on my side with wall supporting my back kinda holding me in place. It sucked but he did stop wanting such constant feeding after a few weeks and go back to waking every 2 hrs instead.

🤷‍♀️

Cluster feeding can be hell! It’s usually around a growth spurt however and temporary. Have you heard of Wonder Weeks? The app saved my sanity at times like this!

At 12 weeks/3 months babies go through a growth spurt so she may need more boon during that time.

I'll be coming up to it next week. I've been recommended the wonder weeks app. Not sure how accurate it is but it charts a babies growth spurts and developmental leaps.

It's a sleep regression and it's especially shitty when they've lulled you in to thinking they are 'good sleepers' until bam, 14 weeks hits and you're partying all night long with them. Do what means you get the most sleep - it's a phase that passes

She'll settle back to normal soon and you're right cosleeping will probably help you get the most sleep too! It's completely natural and can be best for both mama and baby

Yes but it’s not best for the OP which is why she’s posted.

Is her weight ok? I only say this because when this happened to me, my milk supply had dwindled without me realising and she was really hungry / losing weight. Started topping up and her sleep went back to how it was.

Growth spurts etc should be a few days or a week - I started to get suspicious when it went in for several weeks!

I personally couldn't hack the co-sleeping, and neither could my baby - she was miserable and exhausted. Do what works for you, even if people tell you this is normal - sometimes your instinct is that something isn't right.