To ask experienced mums of two how you managed a difficult toddler when your newborn arrived?

[Napqueen1234]

Posting for traffic. DD1 (2.5) has been really difficult since the arrival of DC2 10 days ago. I know it’s a huge life change for her and completely to be expected I just wondered if anyone had any tips or experience of how long it lasted?

Shes normally a happy well behaved thing (for a 2 year old) but the last few days have been constant grumping, refusing to cooperate, being belligerent (ie wanting to go to the park then refusing to walk, move, do anything).

I find myself caught between wanting to wrap her up and let her get away with it because I know it’s a really hard time and also wanting to be strict and nip it in the bud and not indulge her so it becomes the norm.

Have done all the normal stuff- involving her we much as possible, 1:1 time with me and her dad as much as possible, present from the baby etc. I just wondered did your kids go back to ‘normal’ and how soon? Any amazing tips and tricks to help this along?

My dd2 is now 9 weeks and Dd1 is 2.5.
Took around 4 weeks before Dd1 settled back to herself and now she is head over heel for her baby sister. It's a massive shock to their systems when baby first comes home. Give her time

My daughter ignored me for 2 weeks!! She would only speak to DH haha, I did do 1:1 with her but it took her a bit of time to come around now 2 years on DD and ds are the best of friends xx

Praise her when she is good and as far as possible ignore bad behaviour. It’s early days and will settle. Will your older daughter be able to go to pre-school for a couple of sessions s a week soon - as I remembered that worked for us, with the same age gap?

What others have said, but expect flare ups from time to time.

My toddler was fine when baby was tiny, but struggles not that baby crawls and tries to steal her toys. Yes they make eachother laugh a lot, but she also sees the baby as more of a threat now.

I tried very hard to never say we couldnt do anything because of the baby, it was always Mummy needs to sit down now because Im tired, not I have to feed the baby. We cant go to the playground because I have to unload the dishwasher not the baby is sleeping we cant go. Also I talked a lot about how much the baby loved its brother because he was so big and strong. I pointed out that the baby smiled much more for brother than me or Daddy, that baby always looked round to see where brother was because he loved him so much. And then I asked if the big brother could show the baby how to do star jumps, count to five and little skills that they could then do and pointed out the baby watching them. Then if I asked for help with getting a nappy etc, it just flowed that the brother would like to help because he was the babies preference. Of course a lot was made up to start with but now they are actually big and strong they do help each other a lot still.