To think that baby showers for dc no 2 are....

[pandapancakes]

Just plain grabby?

I never had baby showers, no judgement to those that do but it wasn't for me. However I thought the whole idea was to help set up the new parents to be with gifts etc.

I can't put my finger on why, because I certainly don't think subsequent children are less important, but it just feels incredibly grabby.

Means a gift for the shower, contributing towards the food etc and a couple I've been to have shitty games. Then you feel like you have to get a gift when you meet the baby in person for the first time.

Oh and a couple have asked for contributions towards the mum hamper

I'd never say this in real life though, so I'm curious as to whether it's just me?!

@RhymingRabbit3 from what I understand, maternity pay/leave in the US is incredibly poor in comparison to what we get in the UK. That’s why many only take 6 weeks mat leave

Long standing family superstition never allowed for anyone in my family to have a baby shower so I can't really opine on it. However, i kind of feel like if a shower is to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a child, then all children should be celebrated, not just the first. But then the expectation of gifts...I think that's what ruins it. So many ways to look at it, I'd be inclined to give the benefit of the doubt and try to just look at it as a celebration of upcoming babies rather than a gift-grab.

@lochjessmonster I know it's a baby shower - but my point was that I don't see it as day where everyone has to come and shower my unborn baby with gifts, I view it as more a get together with no obligation for bringing gifts x

Love all these posts about baby showers.

Fair enough if you feel the same way about every celebration , but those who moan about how tacky/grabby baby showers are but are happy to celebrate weddings/birthdays etc. are so hypocritical. It's just celebrating a happy time in someone's life, if not THE most important and exciting time in their life. Most people are happy just to have their friends and family together for a get together. I really dont understand why people are so negative about it on here, let people enjoy things!

Oh and its true in the US a lot of companies only give 6 weeks to align with disability leave for maternity, and frequently its unpaid. Maternity/paternity leave/benefits vary quite a bit from place to place and i personally feel that they really are NEVER adequate.

I had a post-baby shower for DC4 (I didn’t have a shower for the other babies). No presents but sat around at a friend’s house eating cake with lots of other friends. It was a really nice occasion.

@nicannie and I think what you are describing is what baby showers are suppose to be like, and what most of them are like. It definitely isn't about the gifts.

Hate them with a passion, never had one and refused all invites.

I agree OP. I’ve never attended a baby shower for a 2nd baby.

Just don't go if they irk you so much. I feel like they're just a little celebration about a new arrival (I've been to first second and third baby ones).

If your friends are demanding expensive gifts, then maybe it's more your friends you should be peeved with!

I haven't been to many with extensive gift lists.

I didn’t have a baby shower and I still got showered with gifts! People get excited about the arrival of a new member of their tribe and want to get involved in some way to mark the occasion. It’s lovely.
The thought of sitting in a “mummy to be” sash, posing for photos with helium balloon arches, cupcakes and big piles of present though... it just leaves me cold. Each to their own though, not causing anyone any harm

@crustycrab some bought gifts (not requested) and some didn’t I didn’t expect anything and told this to people who asked what we would like. And of course someone can insist, I wasn’t vehemently against the idea but I also wasn’t particularly bothered and told her so. She was really keen and asked me multiple times before I relented with ‘fine’. And I’m glad I did now.

Hate them with a passion, they are grabby and tacky for a first child and even more so for subsequent children.

It’s perfectly possible to get together with friends without any need for a shower or gifts.