Is anyone else really grumpy with child when woken up?

[Anon234]

Ok, I know people will probably think I'm awful. But I'm SOOOOO tired!!! 3 DDs all under 5, youngest is 9 months. She's a terrible sleeper (so were the other 2 but then they seemed to come round at about 18 months).
Anyway, I feel horrible but whenever one of the older 2 wakes during the night and I've been asleep, I just feel so angry about it!! I try to take deep breaths and not show them I'm annoyed but I'm certainly not the calm, soothing voice I'm sure they want in the middle of the night. They nearly always just want water (which we keep next to their beds!) and then they take a sip and go back to sleep, but I can't.
The interaction usually involves me telling them it's the middle of the night and they need to go back to sleep now. Sometimes I tell them that me and daddy are fast asleep and it's not fair to keep waking daddy because he has to work in the morning (they clearly don't understand this because they're tiny children and why should they?).
I just feel like a crap mum for not being more patient.

It depends on the reason. If it’s sickness, I’m lovely. If it’s general twatting about my patience is not high and it is straight back to bed with as little interaction as possible. But, my 3 year old has a habit of sleep walking so I’ve had to develop a really calm manner as she’s like a distressed zombie when she does it and just needs settling as quickly as possible back into bed.

Does daddy ever get up? Even if you're on mat leave it doesn't mean he can't do the occasional night wakening!

If they just want water, id remind them before bed where it is, that they're big girls and you trust them to be grown up and get it themselves if they need it.

If they still call, keep conversation to a minimum. It'll keep it boring for them so less likely to call you next time, and means it's easier for you not to show it if you do feel grumpy. It's hard to not be grumpy of you're tired and then have sleep disturbed!

I have three same aged children but don’t mind when they wake me up. When DH wakes me though, I get annoyed!

I'm the same as Creme. If there's a good reason, like bed wetting or bad dreams or illness then I am all the sympathy and kindness. If it's general twattery then I am quite curt and short about it. I hate getting woken up! These days I take my revenge every morning as my 6 year old hates getting up for school :o

No one likes being woken up in the middle of the night and even the best mum in the world is going to struggle not to be grumpy if it happens a lot.
If it’s illness or a nightmare I can suck it up and be all cuddles and sweetness though.

Yes I think it’s just quite hard! I think it’s good to discourage waking younfor a drink that is right there, so probably best not to be too lovely.

Also agree Daddy can field a few of these!

Yes I get the rage. I was a lot more patient when DS was little but the older he got the more I rage. No tips though sorry! I often have huge guilt about it. I'm sure I've got PTSD from the newborn stage!!!

My mum would have flipped if we'd woken her for a drink when there was one right next to us. Ergo, we never did. I think you're onto a winner tbh!

I'm with you on this op, only human

Yes me, and I feel guilty about it! And it sounds like you're a lot more sleep deprived than me! You're only human

it always make my life so much easier when they are old enough to get rid of the cot and go into a bed, so they can come to my bed at night instead of calling me!

None of my kids have drinks next to them, no way would I want them to be used to wake up to take a sip.

Phew, that makes me feel better! If they're ill or having a bad dream it's different; I will get up 10 times during the night with them and cuddle them/lie with them for hours, I'm practically Florence Nightingale. But wanting a sip of water, shouting for us because the blanket isn't covering their feet... I just worry that other mums are all sweetness and light and I'm being a grumpy knob.

I'm the same. My husband works offshore so everything down to me when he's away.

I would say grumpiness is par for the course in those situations. Also...do you WANT them to keep doing it? No! So why reward it with niceness and positive attention?

Nah, I think that’s fair enough! I don’t think it’s unreasonable for children of that age to know that parents need sleep and waking them up for no reason is OK. DS is four and went through a rubbish period of waking us constantly before Christmas - when we got firm with him it improved hugely. Obviously totally different with illness / bad dreams etc.

I get the night rage too OP. I can be all sweetness and light in the daytime but I just can't cope with the chronic sleep interruptions. I've been known to throw tantrums about it my DDs must think they have another mummy for night times!

*not OK

I always feel angry when they wake me but I don't feel guilty! I tell them it's not fair to wake me up just cos they can't sleep and not to wake me unless it's something important. I don't mind them waking me to take them to toilet cos I consider that a real reason. But this nonsense of I can't sleep etc I know it's really mean but I do not deal with it well. They know now. Mummy doesn't like being woken

@CapnSquirrel I've had middle of the night tantrums too