Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To have a one night stand?

19 replies

Embarrassingbodies20 · 23/01/2020 20:00

NC for this. Long time poster but potentially outing and a bit embarrassing and VERY personal.

I am single. I have not had good sex in a really, really long time. I very much feel like what I need is one really great night with someone that absolutely knows what they're doing. However, are one night stands really a good idea? I don't even know how you get to that point, do people just go on a night out and meet someone and then go home together? I am absolutely certain that I don't want a relationship. And I don't want to date. I just want the physical, detached thing. No strings. I need to work off this steam and get it out of my system before I burst!!

Help... I am desperately in need

OP posts:

TheDarkPassenger · 23/01/2020 20:06

I did it before tinder and that so yeah I just went to clubs and ‘pulled’
My friend uses tinder as she’s too busy working all over the world for a proper relationship. Seems to work well for her, quick shag and no chew on!

Mistystar99 · 23/01/2020 20:14

You are probably unlikely to get a great one night stand from a one night stand. Although you never know!
Is there anyone you know who you have a bit of chemistry with, who is up for no strings attached??? And won't go weird on you later?? It is possible :-)

Hahaha88 · 23/01/2020 20:17

Well the problem with a ONS is you've no idea if they will be good or not. I'd use tinder and get a bit of a flirt on first to see if you at least click that way. But no there's nothing wrong with a ONS between two consenting adults who know that's all it is. I've had some fabulous one's, but more pretty pants one's tbf

NurseButtercup · 23/01/2020 20:31

I personally wouldn't go down the ons route for good no strings sex. Have you thought about a FWB if you are able to compartmentalise your emotions and feelings???
But you can easily to find a ons or fwb on any of the online dating apps: POF, tinder, bumble etc... I would encourage you to apply some erm criterion before you start your search, in order to weed out the less desirable men.

Stinkycatbreath · 23/01/2020 20:31

I don't have problem with people having ONS but its not for me. Especially meeting someone in a club and going home with them. Id see that as really unsafe God knows where id end up. I would rather meet someone properly maybe off Tinder but im nit sure why I think that would be any better. Just be careful OP

Cath2907 · 23/01/2020 20:33

Try fabswingers (only if you are not of a nervous disposition and the sight if 100 dicks won’t offend!)

MitziK · 23/01/2020 20:44

Nah. Sex is crap that way IMO. The bloke will have a great time, but you'll most likely be left wondering why you bothered and whether he's going to go weird and stalky on you or do the She Wanted Rough Sex Defence

Original poster

Embarrassingbodies20 · 23/01/2020 20:48

Hmmm. No, I don't have any friends that I could shag and it not be awkward. Do many people have that really? Thanks for the fabswingers request but seems a bit seedy and I don't wanna swing with couples.

OP posts:

CarolinaPink · 23/01/2020 21:01

It’s up to you and so of course it’s fine, but you do need to be very careful as the kind of blokes who would be up for this might not be the kind of blokes you’d feel safe waking up next to in the morning.

Marahute · 23/01/2020 21:10

Would you be willing to pay for it? Adult Work? You would likely get someone who knows what they're doing that way. I had a couple of ONS and the sex was pretty lacking TBH.

Aridane · 23/01/2020 21:42

The best sex I have ever had has been on ONS

Aridane · 23/01/2020 21:44

(very liberating and easy to be uninhibited when you won't see the guy again)

user1493413286 · 23/01/2020 21:47

Of the ONS I’ve had very few have been particularly amazing but that’s often because drink has been involved so maybe tinder is the way to go. When I’ve felt like you I’ve found that ex’s or past flings have been the way to go.

Bluerussian · 23/01/2020 21:49

FWB would be better. If you have a one night stand that is really good - they aren't usually - you will want to repeat it so it won't be a one night stand any more; unless of course he doesn't want a repeat which would be hurtful.

okiedokieme · 23/01/2020 21:56

Tinder is full of options . I'm personally not into ons but I wasn't short of offers

edwinbear · 23/01/2020 22:01

OP plenty of guys on Fabswingers looking for just women - it’s not just for swinging

Wereonabearhunt · 23/01/2020 22:02

Another vote for fwb here. Me and mine dated on and off for a while and it didnt work... now we have great sex.. occasionally go out for dinner if were bored, but were talking 2 pals to the local pub, not wine and dine... even watched a film now and then before or after a romp. It works, theres no guilt + the lack of pressure makes things great in the sack!

Aridane · 23/01/2020 22:25

@Wereonabearhunt - sounds like a relationship to me!

Wereonabearhunt · 23/01/2020 22:38

@aridane Absolutely no amorous feelings - just pals who enjoy sex

Flip