AIBU.. To not kiss goodbye..

[Notverycreatiive]

So.. my partner has recently been forced to changed jobs and her hours vary quite frequently. Before she used to get up with me and we would leave together, now, sometimes she's up earlier, sometimes she's up later.

Last night she had planned to wake up early (no real reason or need, she didn't get home from work until 2230 and doesnt have to work today until 1330). Her alarm went off before mine, which she instantly turned off (I don't blame her).

So I get up, get ready, quiet as a mouse and go to work, only to receive a bitchy message about not saying goodbye or giving her a kiss.. I explained that I was just letting her rest and didn't want to disturb her sleep, but she's still in a mood with me.. and now I'm a little bit in a mood with her for being in a mood with me haha.

I don't feel I've done anything wrong.. have I?

For the record if she was awake I'd have made her a drink, had a chat & gave her kisses.

You’ve done nothing wrong. I can’t even remember the last time I kissed my DH goodbye! Tell her to grow up.

I agree with the PP - grow up love!!

Perhaps she's actually pissed at something else? Long hrs? Not seeing u as much?

My DH always gives me a kiss (even just on the cheek or forehead) before he leaves. I always feel it (usually stirs me awake for a few minutes). I’d be hurt if he didn’t.
Just apologise.

Oh but I wouldn’t be in the huff with him about it. That’s a bit much.

You should have just told her you kissed her while she was asleep but didn’t want to wake her. It’s what I say to my kids, saves a lot of bother. She probably wouldn’t have thanked you for waking her up if she then couldn’t drop back off.

She's in a sleep debt funk. If you had woken her to say goodbye she'd be mad at you too.

"Sorry, I thought you needed some proper sleep, especially as you turned your alarm off and I was doing my best not to disturb you. If you prefer I'll wake you to say goodbye next time"

You haven’t done anything wrong. You know that’s what she wants now so you can kiss her goodbye tomorrow.

It would annoy me to be kissed and woken up before I needed to be.
I like my sleep uninterrupted!
You were just trying not to disturb her.
If she wants a kiss from now on, give her one, it certainly shouldn't be something to fall out over in an adult relationship.

Are you a man or a woman? I have never met a man yet who would navel-gaze about this kind of thing, much less post on a public forum.

She is mad at you because you didn't wake her up to say goodbye but if you did she'd probably get mad at you for not letting her to have a rest. Looks like she takes you for granted, OP

I get like this when the DC dash off into school and other peoples DC are kissing and hugging their mums! But I'm a LP and don't get affection anywhere else.. and it's nice to feel appreciated for doing everything!

It's a childish thing to sulk about really, but I've seen/heard a lot of people put importance on those kisses from their OHs. They read a lot into it when they "suddenly" don't get one (Omg he must have an OW!).

You are both adjusting to new pattern of work, this will affect your relationship habits. You just need to talk to each other about what you prefer.

Ask if in future she would like waking up for a goodbye kiss - if she says yes, make sure you wake her up good and proper so she can't get back to sleep, then she might realise she was being totally unreasonable with her tantrum in the first place! 🙃🙃

I leave home an hour before my husband gets up. I always go and kiss him goodbye. At the back of my mind is always the thought that one of us may not be there later in the day (accident on motorway for example ) and I would always regret not saying goodbye. I do sometimes wake him up, but tend to find that he is actually just dozing, waiting for me to leave, then he falls back to sleep once I’m out the door.

I always leave for work before my partner is awake, and I always give him a kiss and say goodbye. Except yesterday, when I just plum forgot about it! But it was such a non issue, he doesn't even remember me doing it half the time anyway.

Your partner is being dramatic. Either appologise and move on (not that you should have to) or continue to make this the hill you die on.