To ask what to do with present?

[AlexCrowe84]

My child was recently invited to the birthday party of a child from school... Not a particularly close friend, but we RSVP'd that we'd be attending anyway and bought a card and gift.

On the morning of the party, I was messaged by the child's parent, letting me know the party was postponed due to illness.
The parent messaged me a few days later, and let me know that the party was rearranged for a date when we are on holiday.

My question is, what do I do with the card and present? Give them to the child anyway? Or keep the present for my own child’s birthday in a few weeks?? It’s something my child really wants, and I was going to get one for them anyway...

This is all new to me, and I don’t know party etiquette yet - help!

Give the card and present to the child, they can't help being ill.

No, you don’t need to send the present to the child. Keep it for your own child or reserve for a future party with a different child.

Give it or keep it. Either is fine.

If the other child was a close friend I'd say give it, but as they aren't then keep it for next birthday party.

Send the card wishing them a good party. Keep the present.

You don't need to give them anything if you don't go to the party.

I would keep gift for your dc and send a card with £5.00 enclosed for the birthday girl.

I'd give the gift. I'm a bit shocked that people would keep a gift from a child because they were ill.

It's up to you. Usually if you can't go you'd not send a gift.

Many years ago this happened to one of my sons friends who'd caught chicken pox. I made a point of delivering the present (to the doorstep with a note).

I'd still give it to the child. Either send your son in with it or give it to their mum at pick up/drop off.

If you're not going to the party you don't send a gift. A card is fine. Different if this was a close friend or family, when you might want to give a token gift, although not an expensive present, but it's not the case here.

Either is fine but I’d keep it for regifting. Generally, there’s no expectation for a gift if you can’t make the party. My kids might give the gift to their best friends in those circumstances but not a mate who wasn’t close.

Can’t believe the amount of people saying keep it! Of course you give the gift to the birthday child.

If it was the other way round and it was your child who was too sick to attend then I’d still give it but I don’t think you need to in this instance. It’s certainly not expected to give presents for parties you’re not attending. I wouldn’t be expecting to receive a gift and would be thankful that you’d at least informed me that your child couldn’t come.

Dearie me... what a dilemma needing Mumsnet help

The child is having another party and you can't go. Therefore they will still get gifts and won't miss out, assuming it's a mass invite party.

Agree if close friend give gift anyway. If it's just a whole class invite type invite I'd just send in a card and not the gift as not going to the party.

I can’t believe this is even a question. You bought a child a gift so give it to them. What are you teaching your own child if you don’t - only to give if they are getting something in return?

Because you don't give a random child a birthday present if you're not going to the party.
Your child can't make the party. These things happen all the time. How often do you give a gift to a child whose party you're not attending?
Keep the gift for regifting.

If it's a good friend, send the present. If it's a class acquaintance, they won't expect it.

The etiquette is you give a gift if you attend the party.
But that’s hardly the law.
If you want to make a nice gesture and can afford to do so - give the gift. If you don’t want to - keep it, with a clear conscience.

You only bought the gift because your child was going to the party, it's not someone close to you that you've spent money on normally. So no, I'd not give the gift. Use if for the nexst party or for your child's birthday as you say he'd like it.