AIBU to think people should just ask for payment?

[MRex]

I live in a large city. In the last few weeks I've:

1. Left the dentist without paying, despite talking to the receptionist
2. Signed into playgroup without paying, despite chatting to the leader who had her cashbox right there
3. Not paid for bread at the local shop.

The first - DH mentioned taking his card for the dentist appointment, I said I didn't remember paying. Checked bank statements then called up and the receptionist cheerfully said "oh yes, you hadn't paid us yet", so I paid by phone. While paying I had a vivid memory of chatting to the woman at playgroup and not paying; next day I asked her and equally cheerfully she said "no you didn't pay", then tried to stop me paying up. Going past the local shop, with a slight worry, I asked him if I'd paid for the bread yesterday. "Not yet love, did you want to pay today or another time?".

Now, I've not been too well, which is possibly why I'm being forgetful. Or my toddler distracting me. But I'm stood there with a wallet, why are these people not just asking if I'll pay today? It's nice to be nice, but now I'm having to wrack my brains about where else I've been, wondering what other equally nice people I've mistakenly stolen from. AIBU to think the person due a payment could prompt that they want it? Can anybody reassure me that it's not just me, but this is common?

(Light hearted, obviously it's not really causing stress, yet.)

Do you live in a lovely village? That would never happen here in London.

No, I live in a big city. It's odd that nobody seems to mind.

I've nearly walked out of the greengrocers' without paying - was busy chatting to the person serving me and just forgot. And I've been to the dentist twice without my purse - fortunately they've been happy for me to pay by phone when I've got home.

Recently I've gone shopping three times without my purse. The first time I left my purchase behind the counter while I went home for it, the second I realised just before starting shopping and went back for it, and the third I happened to have a fiver in my pocket which just covered it. So you're not the only one, and I can't even blame the distractions of a toddler.

Do you look unwell?

I don't even understand how this happens 🤔

You finish your dental appointment, go to the reception with your purse and pay/arrange your next appointment.

You pay for playgroup as you go in because you're there every week and that's just the routine.

You go in a shop, put a loaf on the counter, have a polite chat, pay and leave.

Once I can understand, but three times in a short space would have me thinking you were chancing it 😬

Thanks for the forgetful solidarity @lanthanum. Maybe dentists often get late payment, I hadn't considered that. One advantage of the distracting toddler is that I keep some cash in his pushchair and in his nappy bag, for playgroup / tissues / coffee / snacks; very handy when I realise I've forgotten my wallet and need some bits.

@NewYearNewJobNewHome - I don't either, hence the AIBU. Because wouldn't you think one of them would have said "That'll be ££ please MRex" when I'm actually stood right there?

@CalmFizz - I suppose a little, a few friends have commented that I don't look well, but it's hard to judge. DH says I just look very pale and tired.

Why dont you go back and pay?

I have paid for all 3 now, see the OP.

That would never happen here in London.
Not true/massive generalisation. I live in London and have had this a couple of times quite recently when I've gone to a shop and realised at the till that I've left my purse at home. I was told both times with a wave of the hand that I could just pay next time.

We’ve walked out of cafes twice without paying. Gone back a few minutes later when we’ve remembered. No one had noticed, which is different to what happened to you when people noticed but didn’t mention it.

Do you look a bit poor? Maybe people think that you are skint at the end of the month?

I don't think I look poor, no. I suppose someone could think anybody might be skint in January. It feels even worse if they think I was chancing it rather than it being a mistake.

@MRex but surely you just pay rather than wait for them to ask?

Usually, yes of course. My AIBU is that I was confused because I forgot, but they didn't then even ask about payment and I've no idea when any of them would have done (except playgroup, who wouldn't).

What would they have done? I assume your local shop may have just let you off or asked you next time you were in. The dentist would have sent you a bill in the post if you didnt pay, or they would have added it to your bill next time

YANBU! This happened to me at the dentist recently. I was only there for a checkup and forgot that it wasn't free. I spoke to the receptionist on the way out and she didn't mention payment, so I didn't offer any. Then the next day they fired off a stern letter to me saying I hadn't paid I did want to say to them, "Have you tried asking for money at the time it's due? Cos that works quite well." But I just sent DH in to pay, cos he is much nicer than me

@DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy - "Have you tried asking for money at the time it's due? Cos that works quite well."
Ha! (And I'm so glad it isn't just me!)