To take back my share of marital assets?

[Frage]

XH and I separated five years ago after 20 years of marriage. I left him because he was abusive to our DC.

While the sale of our marital home was proceeding, I moved into rented accommodation with our DC. XH completed on a house purchase on the same day as the sale of our marital home completed.

As he was in a 'permanent' house and I was in a rented one, XH moved the huge majority of our possessions into his house. This included furniture, TVs, stereo equipment, etc, etc - basically the contents of a seven-bedroom home.

At the time, I agreed that it made better sense than to put it into an expensive storage unit, but that we would have to divide it up once I had bought a house.

We drew up a financial settlement which we were both reasonably dissatisfied with, and have stuck to it. It has not been through a court, but has been witnessed by unrelated people.

I duly bought a house, and XH has never surrendered a thing, despite me asking him several times. So I have taken it on the chin and started from scratch (I have very little money, so it is all second-hand, Ebay/Facebook stuff). However, it all works well in a comfortable and quirky way.

It has, however, been a festering issue.

It is all the more of an issue now, as it turns out that some of these items (pictures etc) are worth a considerable amount of money. I was recently made redundant, so would like to sell them, not least to pay my tax bill. We bought them all jointly, while we were married. I have asked him civilly for half of them; he became very angry and said he would rather die than "give them to me". However, they are half mine.

The question is: WIBU to remove some of these items when I am next in his house?

The DC see him regularly, but aren't allowed a key to his house because he "doesn't trust them" (they are 16 and 18 and have given no particular cause for concern). I do, however, sometimes collect them from his house in his absence, so I would have an opportunity then.

AIBU?

If you have a list of contents in a court order that the order says belong to you, and evidence that you agreed that he'd hang on to them until at some unspecified point in the future when you'd take them back, apply to the divorce court for enforcement of that part of the order. Fill in a D50k www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-d50k-notice-of-application-for-enforcement-by-such-method-of-enforcement-as-the-court-may-consider-appropriate-family-procedure-rules-2010-rule.

If you haven't got all of that then you're on dodgy ground evidentially.

Just read the last few while waiting for DD. Thank you.

The problem, Collaborate (or one problem of many) is that we don't have a CO, because we have only a DIY Separation Agreement, which only mentions property assets, income and XH's pension. It doesn't mention household contents.

When I approached XH, I said we should either take half each of the household contents and do as we chose with them or, if he wanted to keep them all, I should be given an extra £X to replace beds, sofas etc. This never happened, so I just gradually replaced them all with second hand stuff.

With the pictures etc, I did suggest to him recently that we sell them all and split the proceeds. He refused. I said in that case, we could share them equally and do whatever we wanted with our own share. That was when he said he'd rather die than let me have anything.

So he still has them all. It is two discrete collections of stuff. I have done some digging, and similar items to the first collection sold at auction a year ago for around £20k. The other - the one which we agreed he would leave to the DC - was independently valued before we separated at £50k plus.

Believe me, even a fiver would make a difference to me at the moment!

You are still married and they are half yours so yes I would go in when he isn't there and take them.

I wouldn't waste money on a solicitors letter as you are still married and half owner of those goods.

He can go to the police but they can't do anything, just like you can't do anything if he takes them back.

I'd say afterwards to de escalate the situation. "Sorry but we have discussed this for years and you have not handed them over so I have taken them, as was my right as I own half the goods. I have left you the other half as that is fair."

Also you need to get a proper legal separation agreement as you are still liable for each other debts without one.

Also no point relying on him leaving things to the kids in a will as these can be easily changed at any moment before death.

You won't be named for spouse pension in a divorce but do a pros and cons list and see what's worth it to you. You are still vulnerable.

So what value are you placing on the small chance that he might die and then you would get half his pension? You could probably insure his life for a small amount per month if you are dependent on him.
Seriously, divorce him properly.

Take them OP. Possession is 9 tenths if the law. Argue with him after the items are in your possession.