Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You have a drs appt at drop off time

54 replies

cjt110 · 22/01/2020 13:20

Do you

A) take child with you and they are late for school;
B) organise for a friend to take them;
C) Rearrange your appointment.

I ask because on a few visits for early morning appts I see children sat in the waiting room - alone/with sibling at say 9am and the parents come out of the appt and off they go.

I know not everyone has a big support network but like AM , I needed to see the GP and aware they might run behind, I asked a friend would she mind my son going with her and her son to school today. As it was, I was finished by 8.45 so we would have been OK anyway but I just wondered if you don't have someone who can walk your child to school/childcare, do you just have your child be late?

OP posts:
VenusClapTrap · 22/01/2020 13:37

I live in a small village in which we all help each other out; it would be easy to find another parent willing to take my dc to school with them. We do this sort of thing for each other all the time.

mummykauli7 · 22/01/2020 13:37

Yes if I really needed to be seen and that was the only available appointment, I would call the school and let them know dc will be late and take dc to the appointment and drop them to school afterwards

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 22/01/2020 13:37

When I was new to this area many years ago, I was given a midwife appointment for about 3pm. It wasn’t possible to rearrange it, so I spoke to my older dc’s primary school, and they were fine with me picking them up early so that I could attend. I imagine they would also have been fine if I’d dropped them in slightly late had it been a morning appointment. Not everyone has a support network (for whatever reason) so you just do what you have to.

Sally872 · 22/01/2020 13:38

I assume it would be marked as late as child is late.

I would aim for appointment that worked and reschedule if not urgent. If urgent I would aim for someone to take them if they couldn't then the child would be late. If child is marked late in this one instance I wouldn't care as I would be prioritising urgent appointment.

I think you need to work on your concern with being late. It hasn't happened to you, and if it does then it occasional lateness is not a huge problem. Have you considered the children in the waiting room may be attending appointment?

bigbluebus · 22/01/2020 13:39

I'm at a loss to understand why people get so worried about a late mark on their child's records - unless it is persistent in which case the offenders probably don't care. I am the never late kind of person but even I couldn't get excited if DS had a late mark for a legitimate (in my book) reason when in primary school. It's not as if it is going to go in a reference and affect their entire career! And if it's first thing they're probably only missing registration or assembly!

Original poster
cjt110 · 22/01/2020 13:40

Have you considered the children in the waiting room may be attending appointment? The one I saw recently, her father/male grown up went in. She sat outside. The man came out and they left.

OP posts:
PettyContractor · 22/01/2020 13:40

Why isn't breakfast club an option?

Original poster
cjt110 · 22/01/2020 13:41

@PettyContractor With our local one you need to be booked in in advance and have all the forms etc filled in in advance of attendance. So at 7.30 this morning with an appt at 8.20 - school opens at 8.45 - it wouldn't have been possible.

OP posts:
Cohle · 22/01/2020 13:42

You just seem very worried about quite a hypothetical scenario that I don't think most people would give a second thought. Are you often terribly anxious about being late?

Original poster
cjt110 · 22/01/2020 13:44

@Cohle. Yes I hate lateness.

I have some health issues at the moment which may mean a few on the day appointments in the near future and I couldn't work out if once in a while it's ok for him to be late because of me.

OP posts:
Sally872 · 22/01/2020 13:44

The one I saw recently, her father/male grown up went in. She sat outside. The man came out and they left

I would assume urgent appointment, or slept in and couldn't drop at school first or had nobody else to do school run. Hardly worth any more thought is it?

2020BetterBeBetter · 22/01/2020 13:44

Not everyone lives near to someone who can help out with the school journey or perhaps the appointment is too last minute for anyone to take their child. If it’s a drive to school, you also have the issue of the person helping having a suitable and legal car seat (if required) etc.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 22/01/2020 13:45

At my surgery if you rearrange an appointment it may never for sooner than a week away so I'd take mine.

Sally872 · 22/01/2020 13:46

Cross post.

Why do you hate lateness? Is that something you can resolve?

Obviously good timekeeping is important but some lateness is ok.

Yes it is ok for your child to be late because of you attending an appointment.

HugeAckmansWife · 22/01/2020 13:46

Teacher and 'hate lateness' type here but in that scenario I would take them late. Assuming there are no other appointments and no other childcare options there's no choice. Bit Hmm at the pp re breakfast club. These are virtually never ad hoc casual things that you can randomly drop into for all sorts of admin and legal reasons. Its not an issue fir the child to have a L mark or be noted down as authorised absence due to a good reason.

Original poster
cjt110 · 22/01/2020 13:47

@Sally872 Not sure. My mum always was ontime - early in fact - for things and it's just how I am. On a Friday for example, I don't work. Due to health issues I drive to school for 2.30 and park up outside and read for an hour before school breaks at 3.25. I couldn't cope with the idea of getting there later on and not finding a space and being late.

OP posts:
Cohle · 22/01/2020 13:47

I think perhaps you need to give some thought to whether your dislike of lateness is within reasonable bounds or whether your anxiety about this is something you could use some support with. The amount of concern this is causing you seems out of proportion to the issue.

Thesearmsofmine · 22/01/2020 13:49

If there is nobody to take them and you can’t have a different appointment time then yes you would just take them with you. Persistent lateness is different to a child getting a single late mark because you have to attend a medically appointment.

Strugglingtoquit · 22/01/2020 13:52

Ideally B. If not then C if possible, but it can be very hard to get any appointment in some places, never mind one at a convenient time, especially if it’s urgent. So then you’re stuck with A.

I’m sure most people would agree it’s not ideal, but also acknowledge that sometimes there isn’t an ideal option available to everyone. I wouldn’t judge someone in this position.

2020BetterBeBetter · 22/01/2020 13:53

It sounds to me that your obsession for timekeeping is unhealthy.

bigbluebus · 22/01/2020 13:54

My DS is an adult now and I can honestly say that being late for school very occasionally ( usually because his sister's SN transport was late) or taking holidays in term time (primary school only and pre fines!) has not impacted on his education or his references for university! I am usually early for everything like you OP but if you have done your best to get your child to school on time but can't because it is unavoidable then just tell the school why and forget about it. It's not as if it's going to be every day or that you are just not bothering to turn up on time.

Sally872 · 22/01/2020 13:55

On a Friday for example, I don't work. Due to health issues I drive to school for 2.30 and park up outside and read for an hour before school breaks at 3.25. I couldn't cope with the idea of getting there later on and not finding a space and being late.

Avoiding the stress of parking when it is busy is understandable when you have the choice. (An hour early is a bit extreme). Also late for school pick up is tough because you dont want child to be worried or teachers inconvenienced.

What would be the issue if your child was a bit late arriving occasionally because you had an appointment and needed to attend?

Original poster
cjt110 · 22/01/2020 13:58

@Sally872 Sadly, as with many schools, the roads/parking is not ample for he number of parents picking up/dropping off. I am often fortunate to get a space at 2.30! But it also some ME time. I;m in my car, hot drink and a book and can't be disturbed/sidetracked.

I just worry that school would be cross because his lateness wouldn't be for him. It would be for me. And in my mind that's not acceptable to the school. Blush

OP posts:
askmewhat · 22/01/2020 14:00

We have walk in surgery in the mornings so problem. If there were a situation I needed to see doctor before drop off dh would take dc to school. He doesn't have fixed working hours.

bumblingbovine49 · 22/01/2020 14:05

These are virtually never ad hoc casual things that you can randomly drop into for all sorts of admin and legal reason

I am always interested in this sort of statement. My son's primary school had a drop in breakfast club that you just dropped off and paid cash on the day. No need to book. It wasn't very busy so I assume that is why. It was very useful.for the odd occasion neither DH nor I could do drop off . I.had no idea they were so rare.

After school club was a different matter. Places in that were much more in demand

Op, try to avoid a drop off time appointment but if not possible then take your child late . It will be fine