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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried about flying monkeys

8 replies

keysonthehighshelf · 22/01/2020 12:04

I left my ex almost a year ago. He's fighting me in court to see our son but the courts have refused and said he's too dangerous. He abused us both and is a horrible, dangerous human being. I moved over 100 miles away from him but still talk to his mum who is really supportive. I was friends with his brother's girlfriend. I'm going to call her his sister in law just to make this post easier to read. He knows a few things about me that only a few people knew and I've become overly paranoid. His SIL wants to keep in touch. She refers to my son as her nephew and obviously misses him. She only knew him for 2 months after he was born though. I like her but would be fine if I never spoke to her again. It's harsh but true. At the end of the day she is with my abusive exes brother. It feels weird staying in touch with her and makes me nervous. Am I awful feeling like I don't trust her and that my gut is telling me to stop talking to her? I feel so guilty about it.

OP posts:
Oddsocksandnosleep · 22/01/2020 12:07

You are not Awful at all, I completely understand where you're coming from and I would feel exactly the same as you!! I would cut all contact if it was me because you never know if she could be feeding back to your ex, good luck! Thanks

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/01/2020 12:09

No. Walk away and don’t risk having anyone you don’t 100% trust in your life.

keysonthehighshelf · 22/01/2020 12:12

It's so hard because she's a sweet girl. But I'm in court proceedings and I just can't risk anything going wrong

OP posts:
FraglesRock · 22/01/2020 12:16

I'm sure you've posted re this before. Everyone said he won't remember her so do what's best for your family

IdontGetIt29 · 22/01/2020 12:21

Have you posted about this before Op? Is she younger?

Idonttrackpeas · 22/01/2020 12:27

Just grey rock her

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 22/01/2020 12:31

What do flying monkies have to do with anything Confused

But in answer to your post, if you aren't comfortable being in contact with her then the answer is pretty obvious

BreatheAndFocus · 22/01/2020 12:54

It's so hard because she's a sweet girl

Then gently detach from her. Tell her the court case is using up all your energy and you don’t feel chatty, or gradually increase the time you take to reply to her and keep your replies polite but brief. She’ll slowly lose interest.

It does seem weird she’s so invested in your child though and after such a short time. Maybe she’s just being friendly? But definitely don’t tell her anything you wouldn’t want passed on. Polite but brief is the way to go if you can’t bring yourself to drop her suddenly.

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