Full disclosure, when DH and I first met and got together we both smoked. About 2 years into the relationship his DF passed away from a smoking related illness and we both said we would quit. We both cut down massively, but he soon began smoking a lot again a d while I only had 2 or 3 a day, I didn't quit completely.
So I know how hard it is.
But 3 years ago, when we married, he said he would quit. He didn't. Then I fell pregnant, I quit. He said he would too. But he didn't. Then it was once the baby was born. He didn't. Now DD is over a year old and he still smokes as much as ever.
It pisses me off because it's so selfish when he has a baby daughter. She has a bad cough that's lasted 3 months I'm convinced the 3rd hand smoke from his clothes doesn't help, but he still "forgets" (is too lazy) to change his clothes after a fag. He gets a noted of I ask him to wait a few minutes before having a cigarette to help me with DD.
He works long hours, and hates his job. I understand that. But I hate how it seems like him having a cigarette always comes before DD. I'm embarrassed when we meet other parents at the nursery etc. and he stinks of smoke.
When I bring it up he just goes on about working 12 hour days every day and that he hates his life d hates this country (he's from another EU country). But when he has a day off he spends it watching YouTube videos instead of looking for another job.
I'm at the end of my tether. I want to tell him it's the smoking or me but I feel hypocritical when I used to smoke. I also know that if I left I would really struggle financially, so would be letting DD down.
WIBU to give him the ultimatum?