Schools and illness.

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I feel like I can’t win either way with DC’s school. Both have good attendance generally. Last school year my sons attendance was 100 percent as he was lucky enough not to get ill, Dd only started school in September. We haven’t been so lucky with illnesses so far this heat.

DS has perhaps had 6 or 7 days off since September which isn’t ideal but he has been generally ill. DD has had about 2/3 days off. This isn’t ideal but I do not keep them off no reason but will keep them off if needed.

DD’s attendance hasn’t been questioned. I guess at that age they expect little ones to get poorly and she hasn’t had much time off.

DS has autism. You can really tell when he’s poorly as he doesn’t eat, sleeps all the time and is generally quiet - the complete opposite to his usual self.

Last week he was sick on the Saturday. 48 hour rule meant he could go back Tuesday which he did. This week he has a very high temp, complaining of a sore throat and very sleepy. He’s had yesterday and today off.

When I ring up I get made to feel guilty he isn’t yet if I sent him in poorly I’m sure they wouldn’t be keen either.

The school D.C. go to have a problem with persistent absence and they are desperate to get their overall percentages up.

I feel like telling them to look at previous years attendance and tell them that my children aren’t really the problem here. I only keep them off when needed and they are back as soon as they are better.

Surely aibu to keep my sick kids off?

I am certain once summer is here there will be less illnesses and they will be in every day.

how do they make you feel guilty? they always ask why a child is off but I don't see that as a problem.

send him in with D&V next time and see how they like it

send him in with D&V next time and see how they like it

what a nonsense. I bet you would never do this to your child, fish, just to spite the school.

I've only had to have the attendance chat twice with schools. My DC are rarely off and both chats occurred after only having 2 days off early in the school year where 2 days were due to injuries that happened within school (separate incidents years apart I should add just in case). In both cases they'd been to a&e so I was able to show this wasn't normal and did point out their previous attendance should show it's unlikely to be an ongoing concern. As it was by the end of the year the attendance for ds was 100% after that. With dd this only happened last term but she's been in school every day since (orthopaedic appointments excluded).

I think it's largely just a box ticking exercise to show they are trying to keep an eye on attendance but it does have the affect of making you feel guilty for bad luck.

Our secondary school are so hot on attendance that unless it's actual d&v, we are asked to send our child in and they will make the decision whether to send home or not! Cold, rash, temperature, aches, pains, whatever. Having seen some of the children making frankly ridiculous and transparent excuses at reception to try and get excused, I can understand why they so strongly discourage it. However whilst it hasn't affected us yet, I'm a responsible, educated parent and I know my child - if he's ill, he's ill and that's my call to make. It's any and every parents call to make tbh.

Having missed 7 days in total in just over one term is a lot, so it’s right that school question it.

Some parents do keep children off at a drop of a hat so if there is no medical conditions which would explain it then schools are right to keep a close eye and ask questions

I sympathise but I'm afraid questions are needed to be asked sometimes. They shouldn't make you feel guilty though.

I'm a School Link Governor for Attendance at a Secondary School (so many more pupils and many more problems). Ofsted are HOT at the moment about Attendance and ask in detail about data, percentages and headlines figures. Unless the school can answer in detail about these they are in trouble.

I have a monthly meeting with the school Attendance Officer. The meetings are confidential but each child with concurrent absence and persistent absence is brought to attention and briefly discussed, at times with an Educational Welfare Officer. With a child like yours OP, we would discuss there had been explained illness and a previous good record and would swiftly move on. For instance our current figures for Y10 aren't good, however looking in detail we find we've had one student with sepsis, one currently in hospital education for mental health issues and another out with 2 broken limbs. It dents the percentages very quickly! However, there are many with historic persistent absence who phone in to explain absence for mild headache, sore throat, sneezing, period pain, sore toe, tiredness etc (you get my drift). Unless the school drill down on each of these instances then before long the Absence percentages are on a downward spiral.

I wouldn't worry. You're a responsible parent and are doing the right thing. It's hard not to take it personally but it's really the school trying to ensure it's the best it can be.

Just stop feeling guilty. They have to check, it's not personal. If your son is really sick then why feel guilty?

My youngest ds (in uni now) didn't have 100% attendance until he was in 6th form. One year it dropped to about 84% apparently and I received a letter in the post informing me how detrimental it was to his learning etc and that if it fell further I would be called in for a meeting 🙄 in the same post I received a 2nd letter from them congratulating him on his fantastic progress and praising his work.

We home Ed, but literally my sons had loads since December. Sometimes taking up to week to get better. We’d have been in trouble with schools too if he’d have been in one … what you supposed to do if your child’s ill?? Hope it gets better for you all soon.

I don’t think prior attendance counts for much TBH. You’re only as good an attendee as your current sickness record effectively.

YANBU to keep them off. But they can’t MAKE you feel guilty. How you feel is up to you.

My kids get poorly,...lots. Don’t think their attendance has ever been over 83%. However, when they are well they are on time, with everything they need and their work always done. I also collect work for them when they need to catch up. Neither child is behind, my eldest is top of her class and the teachers know I don’t keep them off for no reason.

That does sound like a lot. I thought mine had had loads of days off but they’ve only had 2/3 so 7 seems like a lot to me.

Unless they are accusing you of lying I would do what you need to do and answer any questions they ask.

Ds has a disability social worker and so his school report all absence to her. We have been questioned about sending him in ill and not sending him in which can be annoying especially when you can see they don't really understand the situation but it is better to answer the questions and let them be on their way.

Dd is 5 started school sept 2018 in year r she had to be sent home from after vomiting so had to take 2 days off and they sent her home about an hour into the school day on a Friday with suspected chicken pox, she had one spot on her chest and one on her arm ( which had been there all week!) It didn't progress so the next school day she was back. This year she has had 3 1/2 days off sick, on a Monday she was complaining of feeling sick but pointing to her throat when asked where she felt sick so I sent her in, at midday they rang me as she had passed out and was unresponsive, she came round but started vomiting so once she was checked over we took her home she was fine by weds evening so she was sent back on thursday and one occasion for a headache she had been having problems the week before (half term) so she spent the day in bed. I hate the 100% attendance thing, we are very conscious of illness due to family members being immunocompromised, I wouldn't want my child's illness to be the reason as to why another child ended up in hospital. The attendance line for the school is an answerphone so we never actually have to speak to someone when calling in absence