To think he's wrong

[inthedarkX]

My ex husband made comments to me today about how I don't work and how I don't have a hard life coz I don't work basically calling me lazy. I have his children and I don't have the luxuary of any family to help look after them. I can't afford childcare on just my wage. He doesn't offer to contribute and doesn't even give me set days for the kids so I can work! He was ok me being a stay at home mum when we was together and he would never work with me so I could work. Now he's got a gf that works he is judging me and putting me down.
I feel like crap right now!

How old are your children? Under 3, yes it's bloody difficult to get childcare without the funding available and you should point out to him that you can't pay for childcare and afford the bills. Is he paying maintenance?

Depends on the DC ages, if they are at school then there is no reason you couldn't find a PT, or even FT role.

Drop your children off at his place and tell him if it's so easy to juggle both then you do it.

Does he not have the kids set days because his job is changeable or because he is flaky? If the latter, tell him you've been thinking about what hes said and he is right and from now on the kids will be his responsibility every monday and wednesday or whatever days, as you've found a job these days.

If he's not contributing then he doesn't get access 🤷‍♀️ simple!

Absolutely turn it back on him and say absolutely. I'll need you to either pay 50% of childcare or set your days so I can have a work schedule and not need it. At present you are HIS childcare so he can work. As a pp asked, does he pay cms maintenance?

Does he pay no child maintenance?

How old are you children and how many?

He doesn't offer to contribute so contact CMS and make sure he does. What ages are the children?

What age are the kids?

Why does some arsehole, having an arsehole opinion, make you feel like crap?

I get that it might make you angry, it’s not easy to let this nonsense be completely off a duck’s back.

But why does it make you feel like crap? Why does his bullying make you feel bad?

Sort out regular access.

My suggestion would be to go through CMS to get child maintenance and to then to organise regular residency ideally through mediation or through the Courts (Child Arrangement Order).

Both should allow you to organise your life better, arrange childcare and work more regular hours.

What’s with the “offer to contribute” nonsense?
Is he working? Have you opened a CMS claim?

You know (I’ve seen your other threads) that he is an arsehole and that you’re going it alone here. You’ve got his 6 kids and one is under 1. You’re not going to be in paid employment any time soon.
Tell him he can have the kids - is EXPECTED to have them EOW. Ensure they’re available then, but plan for him not to have them.

You need to stop caring what he says though.

Op do you mean contribute over and above the child maintenance he currently pays?

The kids ages etc are important, as people don't know if they get nursery hours, at school etc, no one knows if you've five pre schoolers or two teens

Generally though getting back into work is very important, not just from a sense of self, but paying into a pension etc.to make sure you do not struggle in later life.

Sorry cross posted.,,six kids!