Have NC for this.
When I was 15, my family were staying with a group of my parents friends. There were four families plus the couple who owned the house. I was the eldest child there, at 15. We called the adults aunt and uncle although there was no blood relationship.
The man whose house it was was very attractive - a year later he and his wife divorced and I heard he had been having several affairs.
One evening at dinner he started playing footsie with me under the table, and touching my leg. The next day when we went for a walk he held my hand when no one was looking. That evening he got me on my own and kissed and cuddled me. He said it was our secret. We left the following day.
I was flattered by the way he behaved towards me and for a few weeks had romantic dreams of us running away together. I was a shy, overweight teenager and had never had a boyfriend. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realised how wrong this had been and felt ashamed. I’ve never told anyone. I never saw him again after that weekend. But last week I was watching a programme and a girl had been sexually abused by an uncle in similar circumstances. It turned out he had kissed her older sister first. The younger one was blaming the older one for not speaking out as she could have stopped worse things happening. Now I feel so guilty. I have no idea what happened to him in later life but by me basically giving him the green light, could I have made him think it was ok? I’m in my fifties now and I don’t know if he is alive or dead. I know that some of the other families stayed in touch with him after the divorce and they had daughters.
I’m not sure what I expect people to say - I just needed to get it all out. Thanks to anyone who has managed to get to the end of this.