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AIBU?

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Need someone to give me that enlightenment moment

4 replies

TurquoiseFlowers · 21/01/2020 23:18

I need some wise words to help me get over the feelings I have towards my friend. We have been friends for years but over that time she has slowly been doing things that have frustrated me. It all started off with her getting exactly the same coat, then her sleeping with a number of different men in the hope of getting pregnant while I was doing IVF (this was just a coincidence, she's always wanted a baby). She then meets and marry's a man within a year and is now pregnant. I'm very happy for her re-the baby but I can't move on from her nonsense. She says things like 'DH is going to be an accountant, he's wants to do Prince2 qualifications' 'DH has got a job as a stop gap, if he works 40hr week we will cover our bills & food. I'm off to see what the government will give us as well'. 'It turns out we're not entitled to anything so I'm going to sell my flat to get one off the council'. 'We ran away to get married, but I want a big wedding here'. All of this infuriates me and when I gently challenge her, she rejects what I say.
I want to be friends with her and she does do things I love such as crafts and walking but I just can't move on from her fantasyland. Does anyone have any words of wisdom to give me that enlightened moment so I can relax and be myself round her?
(We did have a baby so no resentment there)

OP posts:
TurquoiseFlowers · 22/01/2020 20:00

Anyone?

OP posts:
Deckthehallswithlotsofcake · 22/01/2020 20:04

I think you have just outgrown her. It happens. Maybe you would find it easier to cope if you saw her less.

pipnchops · 22/01/2020 20:06

Just focus on the parts of her friendship you like, walking and crafts etc, and try and steer conversation away from her personal choices which annoy you. I have a friend that annoys me but I've weighed it all up and decided the fun we have together more than makes up for the annoying bits.

MopsRUs · 22/01/2020 20:23

There's no law saying friends have to agree on everything or even like everything about each other. So it's your call whether the things you've mentioned outweigh the positives in your friendship.

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