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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tried to make it up with family

13 replies

Hhblueeyes · 21/01/2020 23:08

So a family member I was previously really close with - we had a falling out last year. I just assumed we’d forget it and move on (was so silly and it was all her but I was happy to move on). She ignored me for the best part of six months at family things or didn’t come at all if I was there. We’ve seen more of each other over the last month or so and she started talking to me a bit more when we were in each other’s company. I text her a few weeks ago asking if she wanted to meet up and patch things up as we were so close before and things should never have got out of hand. I didn’t get a reply, not even a “no I don’t want to be friends again” or some kind of acknowledgement. AIBU to feel upset about not getting any response? (It was definitely received) I really don’t want to be in her company again now

OP posts:
Original poster
Hhblueeyes · 21/01/2020 23:21

Didn’t mean to hit vote sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
Hhblueeyes · 22/01/2020 04:45

Bump?

OP posts:
feathermucker · 22/01/2020 04:48

Depends what happened really. You say it was all her?

What was said by both of you at the time? She may feel she wasn't at fault.

Ughmaybenot · 22/01/2020 04:48

To be honest it sounds like it was already on its way to an improved situation before you dragged the drama up again. Seems to me like you’ve shot yourself in the foot here.

KellyHall · 22/01/2020 04:49

It's a shame but that's life I'm afraid. Of course it's not unreasonable to feel sad at the loss of a good friendship but you will bond with various people throughout your life, lose touch and bond with more different people. I think it's rare to keep the same people close throughout.

Comps83 · 22/01/2020 04:50

Are you sure she hasn't changed her number? If its been a while?

Shev1996 · 22/01/2020 04:51

You say it was all her, could it have felt different from her perspective?

Original poster
Hhblueeyes · 22/01/2020 04:57

No she hasn’t changed her number, it was received and read.

@ughmaybenot I didn’t drag up drama but thanks for making me feel like my gesture wasn’t worthy

OP posts:
Original poster
Hhblueeyes · 22/01/2020 05:00

I agree always two sides to a story but my point to her was let’s move on and accept that neither of us will apologise, so just forget things and try to be normal? I didn’t think I could be much fairer

OP posts:
Ughmaybenot · 22/01/2020 05:04

Oh hardly Hmm you asked for opinions, that’s how I’d see it if I were the other side in this situation.

stellabelle · 22/01/2020 05:11

I agree with pp, you should have just let things move along at their own pace, being a little more friendly each time you met but not pushing it. By messaging and suggesting this meeting, you've tried to force the issue and she doesn't like it. Just back off and leave it - some relationships are not meant to be.

user1495870676 · 22/01/2020 05:11

You tried to clear the air and move on and if your text was fair and balanced, not much more you can do. Unless it was completely your fault and she was hard done by in your original fall out then she seems to be really petty by ignoring you.

Maybe at first she didn't know how to reply and as time has gone on it feels more awkward and difficult to respond? - but I think that is being charitable.

Lizzie0869 · 22/01/2020 05:39

I understand why you're hurt; fall outs with friends and family members can be really painful. As you haven't told us what happened between you, it's not possible to know whether you're being unreasonable.

I'm afraid that you would have been wiser not to bring up what happened between you, as it's in the past.

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