To send my daughter to a childminder 3 x a week

[hadenoughofthisall]

Hi
I'm pregnant with my second and having a terrible time of it. Very sick and run down and not in a good place mentally,
We can afford to send my toddler to a childminder for an extra day a week, they currently do two so would up to three. Logically I know this is a good idea but I feel really awful about it. Worried they'll feel rejected or hate me or get upset.
Toddler is a handful and with me being so unwell, we haven't been doing much on the days at home so childminder is probably much more enjoyable anyway but I can't silence the guilty part that feels lazy and shit about not coping

Happy mum, happy toddler, happy baby.

Up the days, you matter too. DD will have fun, and even if she doesn’t, she will let you know and you can decide where to go from there.

If you can get/afford help, take every last bit of it.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and good luck

Sorry I’ve assumed she’s a she because I’ve just had a girl. Mum brain in full swing.

😂 oh nice wait.. your title says daughter.

Seriously.. mum brain.

Do it OP. It won't do your toddler any good if you're at the end of your tether. I send mine twice a week for no other reason than I want a break - if I was pregnant/unwell I would certainly do what I needed to do to cope. Don't feel guilty your DC is being cared for in a familiar environment which presumably they enjoy? Nothing to worry about - take care of yourself

Why would you feel guilty about putting your child in a safe, happy setting to give yourself time to deal with your pregnancy?

The guilt part of you that feels "lazy and shit about not coping" has no place in your life. You're being a good, responsible mother and you have every right to take the steps you need to make your pregnancy as easy as it can be.

YANBU at all. I think if you're ill in pregnancy you need to do whatever you can to get through. I was sick and honestly I've never been so miserable in my life. I felt guilty about the amount of tv she watched. Shes now 12, fabulous and has no recollection of my half arsed parenting all those years ago.

Oh definitely do it! She'll be fine a d honestly if it helps she wont remember! I had a conversation with my 6 year old about nursery- I upped her days to 3 when I was pregnant and exhausted with ds now 4. She swopped nurseries soon after ds was born and doesnt even remember the one that I sat stressing about sending her to thinking that i was lazy to send her to when i was at home alone! Such is life! Look after yourself a d gather your strength for the toddler and new born juggle! X

Do it and don’t feel remotely guilty! Pregnancy is hard, so are children. You’re a mum but you still need to be kind to yourself.

Do it op. You’re making it sound Luke child abuse, rather than a good decision resulting in you getting some rest and your child having a ball with the childminder rather than stuck with poorly mum (don’t take that the wrong way either)

You are all totally right! I worry too much that I'm failing her by not being present enough or good enough or fun enough because I'm so tired and sick and I know she ends up having fun with the childminder but sometimes she asks to stay or gets upset so I feel guilty and like a monster for pushing her away

Of course YANBU.
Apart from the fact she won't remember how any days she went, why would it be a bad thing to be with a lovely caring person who is being paid just look after her and do activities with her, rather than being with you at a time when you are struggling and unwell ?

Do it and don’t feel guilty about it. You gave her lots of undivided attention as a baby, now time to give baby no 2 some undivided attention.

Sorry I misread and thought you were talking about when the baby comes. Still do it! Give yourself a break for sure!