To ask have you ever complained to your child’s school and why?

[Hardymonica]

I hate doing it but I’ve had two issues in one week (unusual for me) and I just feel so uncomfortable doing it. I always think they’re all talking about me in the staff room as a trouble maker or over protective parent!! Just want a bit of reassurance I’m not the only one who’s had to do it!

Yes. A teacher told my dd(7 at the time) that she had impetigo and shouldn't be in school.
My gp confirmed she had a cold sore which she had picked and spread on her mouth.
I told the teacher that a) she was not a gp and was wrong to diagnose my dd's condition.
b) my dd was not in a position to decide whether or not to attend school and if the teacher had any issues she should speak to me and not my 7 year old.
Tbf she apologised.

I was on first name terms with DD1’s HOY and emailed him all the time!
He was very helpful

Yes, my child was refused access to a toilet then they ignored her when she had an accident, I had an apology from the headteacher, they insisted on paying for new shoes as they were ruined and created a new policy for staff over toilet use. It’s a positive in some ways that it was brought to light and won’t happen to another child

@ioioitsoff God, that's horrendous. Wtf was that teacher thinking?

Go in with a list of what the problems are and ask what the staff can do to address the issues. Be calm, matter of fact and focus on what the staff can do to support your child

Yes, frequently regarding my ds who has sen.
Never needed to regarding my dd.

Same.

Yes we did. It was extreme disability discrimination. Not letting our dc start at the same time as others, refusing to let them attend school trips unless I drove (I’d have happily travelled on the bus with them), locking them in and out of classrooms away from peers, lunch was on their own in a classroom with an adult. The list goes on. Complaining to school, governors and council were useless. We went to court in the end.

Yes. I'm not one to complain and avoid confrontation at all costs but last month I finally did it. DS is in year 6 and has adhd. We've had several issues over the years with the way the school/ teachers have dealt with certain situations, but I've always supported them and kept my thoughts to myself. This time it was a step too far so I wrote a complaint. Nothing changed and it was too late for the situation in question but I felt better for it and hopefully they'll think twice about similar situations in the future.

yes i got a head master made to take early retirement and a teacher fired
my then 10 y old was bullied by said teacher emotionally and once physically and the head covered it up
after i was told he was pushed very forcefully through a door by said teacher that day i waited for her outside the gates and had her against the wall by her neck
i phoned the police that evening told and them every thing,nothing was brought against me as they said it was justified force

they went in to school the next day and within day they were on suspension as the kids collaborated what happened

neither child went back to that school again or any school.oldest was y5 at 10 youngest y1 at 6

after i took him out to home educate i took it further up the chain with the polices help and after a lengthy investigation that took 8 months, that was the outcome

it even came out she was doing it to 3 other kids with disabilities as well and as they were having an affair he was covering it all up

Yes!

I complained when I had a meeting planned with ds and his HOY re some continuous bullying he was suffering from. He'd been pinned up against a wall by the neck and when he hit the person because they wouldn't let go he also got inclusion. (For violence).

Turned up for meeting and was asked to go in without ds at first.

I agreed but didn't know until I was in the room there was also HT, DHt/senco, head of learning support and assistant senco.
HT teacher basically told me to remove ds from school if I didn't trust them. They then asked leading questions very aggressively to ds about everything but the incident and bullying.

I emailed to confirm meeting and ask they corrected any of my minutes that were incorrect. They didn't.

2 weeks later that child pulled a knife on ds in the classroom when the teacher have left to get something from an office.
Ds tried to hang himself through anxiety of being killed at school. I took ds to GP following day so was absent from school and informed school.
School refused to authorise the absence (apparently as child was suspended for 2 days he had no reason to be anxious or absent.
Ds was too ill to return for a few more days due to sever anxiety. School reported me to EWO and I was threatened with prosecution for non attendance.

That was a stonker of a complaint

I would say be very clear. Have email trail of everything discussed verbally to confirm you understood what was said and actions.
Be clear about what you want. Any policies they haven't followed.

Make sure it's worth an official complaint or whether a word in their ear would be a good place to start.

If it's actually worth a complaint and will help your own child, other current students and further students - who gives a shit what they say about you in the staff room?

My child in the first year of school continuously came home with bruises, bite marks, scratches, hand marks etc.
We had a collection of 13 'bump notes' one month. There were two SEN boys in her class, both would physically hurt their classmates. DD would have nightmares about one of them hurting her.
After a few months I was so worried about my DD I requested to sit through their morning session to see what was really going on. It was chaos and was hit in the head with a block myself! The poor teacher couldn't cope. She needed assistance or a change of strategy, it was clear to see. I wrote a concerned letter to the school. They made some changes but ultimately we moved DD's school as this wasn't suitable.

Yes. I complained about my daughter’s AS Economics teachers, because they were worse than useless.

The teaching didn’t improve, but after the third time I complained, I told my daughter she didn’t have to attend the lessons, and could go and sit in the library and teach herself. The school turned a blind eye.

I really want to complain to school and church.
We live in n ROI kids go to school in Ni secondary as this is closest school.
My ds is in 5th class They are supposed to stay up to 6th class but he would then be 13 going to secondary so we are finishing him In 5th class but school and church won't allow him make his confirmation before he leaves as they want him to do 6th Class to keep numbers up In the school.
The priest also made a remark about the grammar school we applied for that if wasn't off our religion. I was so mad st this remark I wanted to go and give out to him for discrimination he said if to my dh and as he prints for the priest he wouldn't let me go. If I say anything to Principal I'm afraid my ds will get a hard time in last 5 months. What would you do.

I've followed the school's approach of escalating through class teacher, head of year and head teacher 3 times so far this year (one got to each level). I think the school would have been fine with two of those and a bit pissed off about one. But I'm sure they prefer me to a completely disengaged parent.

Once when I got a call in year 1 twenty minutes after school pick up time asking where I was. My DS was supposed to be at an after school gym club. The teacher had been off sick so a TA was in charge and her response was ‘well he didn’t tell me he had gym club.’ Which, ok, he didn’t but he was only five, (one of the youngest) quite immature and this as only the second week of the club, and he had missed the first week as he was off sick.

The complaint was more to suggest they have better checks in place to establish where the kids should be rather than getting anyone into trouble. And the HT was pretty good about it and responded straight away.

I have also emailed to pass on positive feedback too.

ioioitsoff God, that's horrendous. Wtf was that teacher thinking?

I don't think that thinking was involved

I’m contemplating it now, as they allowed my gluten intolerant son (3 years old) to bake with ‘normal’ flour and then sent him out with the biscuit and didn’t tell my MIL. When I asked the teacher yesterday, she seemed to think it was fine because he didn’t eat it in school.

I also asked whether he had been given ‘normal’ cereal and toast during snack time and she said no, only to change her story to ‘oh just once, when the girl helping me didn’t know.’

DS tells me he has it all the time.

Only once about a teacher who has been picking on my ds. This was after months, I'm also not the first person to complain about a this particular teacher, and only did so after there was an incident in the class where my ds was hurt because of her actions.
2 other occasions I should have complained. Once when my ds had his lunch taken off him because a child in the scho was aergiv to an ingredient, fine my fault, but no replacement was given and I wasn't contacted to bring hon something else.
Second time he got an infection after a procedure at the dentist, even with his lower jaw swollen like a balloon and him coming out of school in tears with the pain, o one thought to contact me, kept telling hon to get a drink, or go get fresh air. He was like that for nearly 3 hours.

I complained when they announced the new houses named after British explorers, all four being named after white males and one being a major player in the slave trade. Its a very undiverse school/area but regardless they should have had more representation of women and ethnic minorities.

The reply stated that the teachers and governors had thought long and hard about the new names etc. Obviously missing out on the causal link that the four names that come to mind are because they are white males and females and other groups are not taught at school therefore the staff and governors had not thought or known about them.

We live in a very white area yet the school have multicultural house names, much to my surprise if I'm honest as the pupils nominated and voted on them,

What @LolaSmiles said on P1 and @isittooearlyforgin said on this page. Generally contacting the school to resolve an issue is FAR more effective than 'going in to complain'.

I did once have to complain right up to Governor Level though due to blatent sex discrimination at 6th form against one of my dc

Yes.
I was at the school several times as my sen ds was being bullied and excluded by kids and two teachers. They were not interested in following their own policies and asked me several times if I wanted to remove him. I just wanted them to teach him and abide by their own press message that they teach the child not the class. I wanted them to follow his educational digest recommendations from the ed psych and OT.
During one issue, he whistleblew on a teacher that had used discriminatory language towards him for the fourth time. He got into deep shit. I sat in on his disciplinary and had to watch as the head broke him after my son left the room in pieces, the head tried to usher me out by pointed watch checking. I made some salient points that he had failed to recognise as discrimination and put enough doubt in his mind about the incident that he subsequently did not take the threatened action towards my son but did not tell him so he spent weeks waiting for his punishment. Bastard. The investigation deliberately excluded the only witness my son had who would have stood up for him and the teacher was clearly lying. He could not see it. There were too many questions left unanswered that he had not thought of.
The whole meeting made me sick to my stomach. It took everything I had not to launch across the room at him. He bullied and broke my son right in front of me.
I spoke quietly and assertively but was absolutely fuming.
After that, other kids came forward to report her. No action was taken. He moved classes. I never forgave the head for that. This head drove out the two most effective and Knowledgeable members of staff they had who could have seen this for what it was. This school is ofsted outstanding. Lord knows how because their sen knowledge amongst the staff was shockingly poor. I offered to sit in on class to see if I could offer more support for them to identify the issues he was having (I am dbs checked). The department agreed this would be a great idea. When I pushed for dates, they refused. In the meeting, the head was outraged I had said I was going to do this as NOONE sits in his school classrooms without his Express permission and he wasn't giving it! The man had a God complex and no amount of reasoning would get him to see how they were failing my ds. He is so much happier now he has left that place.

Yes, but but very rarely.
Once in primary school for something related to my son's medical problems. It was a misunderstanding by the teacher and was easily sorted by an informal chat, but I suppose it would be classed as a complaint.
In secondary I have involved the HoY twice - for different children. One was related to bullying, which the form tutor was being spectacularly ineffectual over, and the other was regarding a teacher treating my child less favourably because of a medical condition and then breaching confidentiality. Both problems resolved very swiftly and decisively after my emails. I was sorry that I had had to complain, but very impressed with the response.
I do know a couple of parents who complain habitually, usually about complete trivia and in the degree of detail that requires 2 sides of A4 typed in miniscule letters every time. Those are the parents that are the talk of the staffroom OP, not you so don't worry.

Yes. The first and most notable occasion was about how a teacher spoke to me and talked about my son who has severe sn at a parents evening. Being an ex teacher I knew the teacher had crossed the line and I was 100% justified in complaining to the headteacher.
I have had to do it several times since to education, health and social care. It is something you get used to having to do if you have a child with sn.

Yes I have - several times.

I am always polite and I have never had a bad word said about the behaviour of my kids, they work hard and are apparently a pleasure to teach.
My job is to represent my kids and get the best school experience possible for them, not cosy up with the school. If they are all talking about me in the staff room, I don't really care too much - they have a job to do - teaching my kids adequately and ensuring they are safe - bitching about me isn't part of it but it is human nature.