Leaving family behind

[Newmummy1234]

Have previously posted about something else to do with this so apologies. Don’t want to ask anyone’s option IRL as we don’t want to upset anyone yet.

Seriously considering a move to Cornwall from the south east. Main reasons:

My DSD lives there.
Both myself and DH have jobs we can do anywhere and earn the same money.
We are sick of paying hugely inflated rent for a tiny house.
We want a better lifestyle for our small children.

My DH is having doubts because of leaving family here.

Has anyone done this move and could tell me what are the good and bad bits about your move. Have you stayed there or returned home?
Xx

Cornwall is always a good idea! It's important to be moving to somewhere, not getting away from somewhere, and you've got that bit sorted. We moved nearly 20;years back and have never regretted it. All our kids could wander down to the beach after school on a Friday with their mates, have a barbecue there in summer. There is masses to see and do and miles of coast path and other walking, woods and moors. The food is great and the climate is kind. We were sitting out in the sunshine on Sunday by the beach.

I'd say rent for six months before you buy, to be sure you choose the right place for you.

Really the only downside is that we don't have a John Lewis, though there are two Waitrose supermarkets (Saltash and Truro).

I love living in a county (Duchy, actually) where the cathedral towers are the tallest buildings.

Go for it!

And you'll see lots of the family because they'll all come to stay. 😉

What are his "doubts because of leaving family"?

Does he spend a lot of time with them? Or want to? Or think he should? Does his relationship with them top all the issues you've raised?

To me it seems you're not going very far (ie you're in the same country) and it sounds like a fantastic move for you for all the reasons you have given. I can't see any reason not to.

We are sick of paying hugely inflated rent for a tiny house.

I wouldn't bother with Cornwall then.

He’s got this fear that something will happen to his Mum and he won’t be there for her.
We used to see her a lot until a year ago when she started not wanting to see as much of us and children :(

I’m intrigued PhilCornwall1

From what I’ve seen online the rent is significant ally cheaper than the south east. Is that not the case?
The going rate for a small 2 up 2 down with tiny or no garden here is around £1200pcm

He’s got this fear that something will happen to his Mum and he won’t be there for her

Which presumably could happen when he was at work on any given day? "Being there" can mean many things.

The issue isn't Cornwall. The issue is his concern about not being there for his mum. I'd suggest he needs to work through what that means and to what extent it will control what he (and you) do with your lives for the next few years/decades.

Maybe you can talk through some possible solutions ... if she became unwell could she move to Cornwall for example? Does he envisage him physically caring for her in the future? Is it about ease of visiting her at home/hospital/in a care setting? Until you dig down into the details with his I don't thing it matters much how nice Cornwall is or how much sense it makes to move.

How old are your kids.
I'd do a lot of research about the area you want to buy in.
Teen pregnancy rates, antisocial behaviour, drug abuse etc.
It can be harder on young people to live in rural communities.

Saying all that I'd love to live in Devon or Cornwall.

You are lucky to have a work from home job you can do from anywhere but assume the kids will not - if my personal experience is anything to go by, no local industry and sometimes limited education in terms of courses etc leads to kids flying the nest earlier. Also drugs are a big thing (as in lots of rural communities)

• I’m intrigued PhilCornwall1

From what I’ve seen online the rent is significant ally cheaper than the south east. Is that not the case?
The going rate for a small 2 up 2 down with tiny or no garden here is around £1200pcm*

3 bed flat in the centre of town where I live, £1400 per month. 4 bed terraced house £2000 both pretty much in the same area.

I’m obviously searching in a different area of Cornwall to where you live then! Phew! Viewed lots of properties in area we want for around £900 :)

Whereabouts in Cornwall are the prices like this?

We are sick of paying hugely inflated rent for a tiny house.

I was gonna say the same as @philcornwall1 😂 it's not all that far removed from the south east dependent on where you go.

I grew up in Cornwall and it's amazing, I had a lovely upbringing but things are different and it will be a huge culture shock from the south east!

Get used to no public transport and travelling a distance to get to anything!

2-3 bed house in my home town will set you back around £900 a month but it'll be pretty small new build type thing.

I live in the east mids now and have been able to buy and can't get over the price difference.

Oh and my parents and family are still in Cornwall.

We cope just fine, visit each other and FaceTime regularly. I miss them of course but it takes 5 hours to drive there so can get there if I need to in an emergency.

Also could never afford to buy here. Average property price here is £450k. I’ll never be able to afford to buy here which is frustrating!