Hi,
I wrote a mega long message and it all deleted so I'm going to try and summarise.
My PIL live a 5 minute walk away and post DS 1st week only visit every fortnight. They have moaned about this in front of us to which I said you are welcome whenever aslong as you call first and we are free. If we arent we can rearrange.
DS has just had 4th surgery at 5 months. Because of surgery people who are ill cannot visit, this goes to everyone, everyone knows.
After 1st surgery they came down and FIL was sneezing everywhere and clearly snotty. We had to ask them to leave and they insinuated we were being paranoid and nasty. We didnt see them for awhile then. After 3rd surgery where we found out about the 4th they finally asked to come round, then cancelled saying they were sick, 2 days later said they were better. I said they had to have been better for at least 4 days to make sure (me being cautious after last time) they said they had been. Then MIL was coughing whilst holding my baby and I was fuming but bit my tongue cos DH had argued with them last time. After the visit I realised cos of the dates of saying they were ill they couldn't have been better.
Then I got sick and because I got sick DS got sick and operation had to be delayed by 3 weeks. We went into to hibernation literally didnt see anyone over xmas because it wasnt worth risking illness as it a delay would mean DS would be disabled permanently. The delay already means DS will likely be impaired for life. OP was on the 10th jan, they wanted to come down that weekend. Ok you're welcome.
Then they messaged only FIL can visit and MIL is ill. We said sorry if one of you is ill neither can come he cant get ill he needs to heal. They mega kicked off. Shouting and saying we are keeping him from them. Horrible things about him probably needing more surgery and he cant be bubble boy.
AIBU or should they be grateful I still even allow them to come round given their lying and basic sabotage of DS health. Thinking about them makes me rage I just wish they would be supportive. As if we wanted to live in isolation!
I have upped their must be better time to a week as I clearly cant trust them. They don't know that's only for them everyone else is still 4 days.