Sorry for long post, just looking for perspective.
I am in my late 20s. She has lived abroad for about 8 years.
We whatsapp every so often and will talk on the phone a few times a month probably. We have very different personalities and have never been the 'best mates' type of mother and daughter.
Just when I think we are getting on fine I somehow manage to say something to upset her (without meaning it! or she takes something the wrong way) and she will launch into a tirade about how I treat my family so appallingly and am nasty and sarcastic and treat them all horribly. (My dad and brother don't share this view...)
The latest trigger was her calling me for help, and i said on the phone that i had never been in that particular situation before so I wasn't sure. I then when on the internet to find the exact information she needed, sent it to her and called her back to make sure she understood correctly. However her take home from that interaction was that it was unkind and sarcastic of me to say I hadn't been in that situation before rather than that i had stopped what I was doing to help her.
She accuses me of not answering my phone on purpose but she calls during working hours or when i'm busy at weekends.
I guess it just feels like she wants me to completely change my personality and be someone else. Or perhaps is comparing me to her friends and their daughters who act like best mates
I love my mum but it's so upsetting to be told you are a horrible person when you're trying your best. Just looking for a bit of perspective or other peoples experiences I suppose.